MIL response to DH cheating

[Anonymous]

Why on earth did you marry, let alone have kids, with this man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A year ago, I discovered my DH had been cheating on me since practically the moment we met in 2012. He did not have emotional affairs or have sex, but rather recieved oral sex from several people, from what I discovered and what he confessed over time. Some of the people were men. When I found out I told my MIL. I was pregnant with our second child. I did not discuss details, just told her he had cheated with both men and women on me. I was considering leaving him and was back and forth from my dad's house for a few days. I told my family and a few friends. DH doesnt know anyone knows. I did take him back, as I am only 26 and probably just stupid. Anyway, I wanted MIL to know why I was being such a bitch which is why I told her. I was pregnant and emotional. DH also has a bad drinking habit and has been abusive. When I told MIL all this, she was all about "you need to keep it together for the kids, stop acting like teenagers." Since then, shes been so cold to me. I hate going over to her house. She used to help watch the kids but hardly wants to see them now.

I have high-lighted for your convenience all the passages you need to re-read.

There is no earthly reason why you should not leave this horrible person.
There is no earthly reason why you should describe yourself as a bitch.
There is no earthly reason why you should care about what your MIL thinks of you.

There are plenty of couples who stick together after one of them has done terrible things. However in your situation, I don't see your husband stopping any one of them. You are young and can rebuild your life.

Get a divorce, pursue child support. Rebuild your life.

[Anonymous]

Give her time and space. She is likely trying to process all the disturbing revelations about her son, your possible divorce, and impact on her grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She said he's been cheating since practically the moment they met...
She said he cheated with both men and women on her...
She said has a bad drinking habit and has been abusive...
AND HER PRIMARY CONCERN is her mother-in-law's response.




Y'all are too hilarious I swear.

OP here. Lol i can laugh at this...but like I said a few replies ago, I am probably leaving. At first DH was saying he was going to therapy, that he probably has bipolar...but he hasnt followed up on much. He has less outbursts and he is quick to apologize and more afraid of me leaving now, but thats about it. I want to leave, but i lost my job with the addition of my second child. I need to finish up my degree. And i need to make sure i dont regret leaving, i did want to give him at least a year.

This is what happens when you make a man your plan.

[Anonymous]

He sucks and your health is at risk. Get tested and get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s his mother. Your mistake was expecting her to take your side. You told her of the cheating, expecting her support, and then took him back. Honestly, that’s on you.

She’s probably horrified by the whole thing and wants nothing to do with either of you.

I’m glad you told her.

But do not expect anything.

Take good care of yourself and kids, get a divorce if necessary.

[Anonymous]

It will never get better. Why would he stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, she has told me not to tell her anything else, as it causes too much stress. I should mention she just turned 50. She said I am giving her health problems? I hardly ever spoke about it.

She just turned 50. So in 2012 you were 26 and she was 43? How old is your husband and how old was she when she had him?

[Anonymous]

Leave him now and file for divorce.

Can you stay with your parents for awhile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she has told me not to tell her anything else, as it causes too much stress. I should mention she just turned 50. She said I am giving her health problems? I hardly ever spoke about it.

She just turned 50. So in 2012 you were 26 and she was 43? How old is your husband and how old was she when she had him?

No i am 26 now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had no business telling your MIL private things about you and your husband. It is not her business. Yes, you are stupid for taking him back.

This is how abusers think. Let’s all hush now and keep it quiet. No needs to know.

Yeah, right.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like families who love the drama and chaos. Same old story...multiple kids at young ages, substance abuse, physical and mental violence, 50 year old grandmother. OP needs to look at the bigger picture of generational dysfunction and get out.

[Anonymous]

Op this is an abusive relationship. Who cares what your MIL thinks or says.

Your MIL said you should think about the kids and you should. You should be getting them away from this abusive relationship. Do you want them growing up living with the outbursts. They should be your only priority.

This situation is bad. Your health is at risk. I get the feeling you will stay and if that's the case your kids should be taken away from you. It isn't lol is actually really disturbing and sad you stay.

[Anonymous]

Did you get married because you were pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You completely rocked her perception of her son. And you apparently weren't being nice to her. I don't blame her for losing the closeness with you.

Plus there is always the chance her husband was a drinker and abusive or she was.

OP here, by being a bitch, I meant to my DH. I am nothing but sweet with her. My alternative would be to not tell her, and she just thinks all these issues are from me. Instead of the man who risked losing our whole family. They should be thanking me for staying with his lying cheating abusive ass.

What you don’t realize yet is that you aren’t doing anyone any favors.

Stop acting like you are.

Also, nobody wants to be in the middle of a married couples fight. It’s a no win situation for the bystanders and nobody cares about your drama as much as you think they do. Really.

Divorce him or stay with him but grow the F*ck up and own your choices.