Fed up with myself. How did I get so fat? Help.

[Anonymous]

Throw out all there junk. Eat what you feed your kids.

[Anonymous]

If you really are binging, I think that needs to be dealt with first. Until you learn strategies to handle binging, weight loss will be an up and down struggle. I recently listened to a podcast episode of Half Size Me where they discussed binge eating. I don't binge but it sounded like sound advice and the advice didn't start with "track calories for a weekly deficit." It started with not eating your feelings, which is good advice for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need a place to rant. I’m actually too embarrassed to rant this to my husband, although I need to, because isn’t that always the first step?

I’m 50 pounds overweight. I have two small children and we want one more. I have put off diet and exercise, figuring when I get pregnant again I’ll gain weight and will need to start over.

But now I’m just stuck being fat, NOT pregnant, and not healthy for my children. I am not sure I am helping enough to carry another pregnancy.

I do all the shopping, which I LOVE grocery shopping and so do my boys. But by self control sucks and I end up buying chocolate covered pretzels. My boys, surprisingly, have a very low sugar and healthy diet. My husband is a normal healthy weight. I am a binge eater and have gained a lot of weight.

Where do I start? Only drink water tomorrow? I’m angry and upset that I let this happen to myself.

1. Don't rant to your husband. If he's not seeing a problem, don't create one. But do tell him you want to lose weight and you'd like his support. Don't disparage yourself in front of him.
2. I've been there. You need to attack this on multiple fronts. You need to figure out why you're a binge-eater and you need to control what you bring into the house. If there's nothing bad, you cannot eat it. But, you won't go from binge-eater to non in a day. So bring home celery, apples, carrots, etc. When you need to binge, binge on those. Aim for low-sugar fruits and low-starch veggies. Up your protein intake. Cut off eating at a certain time. When you fail, have mercy, but don't be too lax.
3. My doctor doesn't believe in exercise for weight loss, but for mood and health overall. If you can do it, get some daily exercise, but not with the goal of losing weight, just to feel better.
4. Don't expect fast results. When you're doing well and the weight isn't reflected on the scale don't take it as a sign of failure. Keep going. It will click, you just need to keep going.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

As for the binge eating - have you thought about going to a program like Overeaters Anonymous? Some support for that specific issue may be helpful. I also like Geneen Roth's books about emotional eating. They're pretty touchy-feely but also made me examine my relationship with food in a productive way.

I agree with PP that equating exercise with weight loss or weight maintenance is not ideal. Focus on your diet and your eating as the first priority.

I suggest starting by downloading Lose it Or MyFitnessPal and just track what you eat for a week or so without placing any concrete restrictions on yourself. Then move on to setting a calorie goal and try not to surpass it, still by eating whatever foods you want. Then slowly eliminate some trigger foods (like processed carbs and sugar) and add more whole fruits and veggies. You could also track how you feel and what makes you want to binge (there's a notes section on myfitnesspal). If you slowly ease into this without putting too many restrictions in place from the get-go, you're more likely to see it as an experiment in self-care vs. restriction/punishment. I think you could white knuckle it through a month of keto or IF or whatever and see some results, but in my experience it's temporary and you need to address the root cause of the weight gain to get lasting results.

[Anonymous]

I have a different belief about this - binge eating isn't because you lack self control. It's your body trying to answer a real need. What you are putting into your body isn't for whatever reason, answering the need. My suggestion is to eat more. More protein, more vegetables, more fats -- a lot! Find a vegetable that you like - for me, it's peppers, and make more of it than you normally would - and eat more of it than you normally would every night.

Start as early in the day as you can - as soon as you wake up or the kids are sorted. Try to avoid bread and cereal. If you are craving carbohydrates, both potatoes (not French fries though) and rice (even white!) have been shown to be resistant carbs - better for you than breads. So eat up for a couple of weeks!! If you are craving a snack, hard cheeses like cheddar and gouda are great as well as nuts. If you are craving sweets - flat chocolate bars - a small square (or two or three - its taken me a half bar sometimes!) until the craving to binge goes away. Before you go to bed, a high protein snack is also good - like cheese and a big glass of water.

I used to be a binge eater too! Your solution isn't to eat less - it's to eat more. Once your body is getting it's needs answered, and you feel more in control of your eating, you can start exercising.

[Anonymous]

I would layer in healthy habits. Focus on adding things first instead of taking away.

Add walking, water, vegetables.

Buy less junk - or buy it in portion controlled packages and only eat one mini bag of pretzels at a time.

Me - I typically don't have it in the house b/c if its here I will eat it and my kids obsess over it.

Try to get some of that protein ice cream - not the same, but somethign for a sweet fix.

[Anonymous]

10:28 back - I also want to suggest weight lifting one day a week - sure more is better, but start with just one - anyone can do that for 30 minutes. Consider the strong lifts program - it only takes about 15 - I combine elements of the A day adn B days, and I have to say - even on one day a week weeks, I am still seeing slow results.

[Anonymous]

I would offer three quick suggestions -- (a) don't drink any calories. Only water, seltzer, coffee, tea (b) have your groceries delivered. This was KEY to cutting out random impulse purchases and wine for me. I use Instacart, which can be problematic, but is better than the alternative of lacking self control at the store (c) replace either breakfast or lunch with a protein shake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the binge eating - have you thought about going to a program like Overeaters Anonymous? Some support for that specific issue may be helpful. I also like Geneen Roth's books about emotional eating. They're pretty touchy-feely but also made me examine my relationship with food in a productive way.

I agree with PP that equating exercise with weight loss or weight maintenance is not ideal. Focus on your diet and your eating as the first priority.

I suggest starting by downloading Lose it Or MyFitnessPal and just track what you eat for a week or so without placing any concrete restrictions on yourself. Then move on to setting a calorie goal and try not to surpass it, still by eating whatever foods you want. Then slowly eliminate some trigger foods (like processed carbs and sugar) and add more whole fruits and veggies. You could also track how you feel and what makes you want to binge (there's a notes section on myfitnesspal). If you slowly ease into this without putting too many restrictions in place from the get-go, you're more likely to see it as an experiment in self-care vs. restriction/punishment. I think you could white knuckle it through a month of keto or IF or whatever and see some results, but in my experience it's temporary and you need to address the root cause of the weight gain to get lasting results.

OP Here. I have, actually. But I am not sure if I really fit in there? And I am so embarrassed to even tell my husband that I might need to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As for the binge eating - have you thought about going to a program like Overeaters Anonymous? Some support for that specific issue may be helpful. I also like Geneen Roth's books about emotional eating. They're pretty touchy-feely but also made me examine my relationship with food in a productive way.

I agree with PP that equating exercise with weight loss or weight maintenance is not ideal. Focus on your diet and your eating as the first priority.

I suggest starting by downloading Lose it Or MyFitnessPal and just track what you eat for a week or so without placing any concrete restrictions on yourself. Then move on to setting a calorie goal and try not to surpass it, still by eating whatever foods you want. Then slowly eliminate some trigger foods (like processed carbs and sugar) and add more whole fruits and veggies. You could also track how you feel and what makes you want to binge (there's a notes section on myfitnesspal). If you slowly ease into this without putting too many restrictions in place from the get-go, you're more likely to see it as an experiment in self-care vs. restriction/punishment. I think you could white knuckle it through a month of keto or IF or whatever and see some results, but in my experience it's temporary and you need to address the root cause of the weight gain to get lasting results.

OP Here. I have, actually. But I am not sure if I really fit in there? And I am so embarrassed to even tell my husband that I might need to go.

OP here. Just looked it up. I don't think that is me. We have done two rounds of Whole 30 and I always feel AMAZING after. PP is right: once I kick sugar, I don't need sugar anymore! Maybe I need a reward chart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As for the binge eating - have you thought about going to a program like Overeaters Anonymous? Some support for that specific issue may be helpful. I also like Geneen Roth's books about emotional eating. They're pretty touchy-feely but also made me examine my relationship with food in a productive way.

I agree with PP that equating exercise with weight loss or weight maintenance is not ideal. Focus on your diet and your eating as the first priority.

I suggest starting by downloading Lose it Or MyFitnessPal and just track what you eat for a week or so without placing any concrete restrictions on yourself. Then move on to setting a calorie goal and try not to surpass it, still by eating whatever foods you want. Then slowly eliminate some trigger foods (like processed carbs and sugar) and add more whole fruits and veggies. You could also track how you feel and what makes you want to binge (there's a notes section on myfitnesspal). If you slowly ease into this without putting too many restrictions in place from the get-go, you're more likely to see it as an experiment in self-care vs. restriction/punishment. I think you could white knuckle it through a month of keto or IF or whatever and see some results, but in my experience it's temporary and you need to address the root cause of the weight gain to get lasting results.

OP Here. I have, actually. But I am not sure if I really fit in there? And I am so embarrassed to even tell my husband that I might need to go.

OP here. Just looked it up. I don't think that is me. We have done two rounds of Whole 30 and I always feel AMAZING after. PP is right: once I kick sugar, I don't need sugar anymore! Maybe I need a reward chart.

Another vote for ww. You can do online only. The app has a connect feature with various groups (30's, newbies, self-compassion). You can find advice, support and commiseration there.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - Also agree with others who say to focus on the diet first. You're never going to be able to work out enough to lose weight if you don't fix your diet. I suggest cutting out certain categories of foods at first rather than trying to limit quantity. Especially if you're used to eating a LOT, it might be very difficult for you to restrict calories. I recently followed the 28-day reset by Cassey Ho (fitness youtube star) and lost about 10 pounds. Cut out flour, sugar, dairy, and alcohol, and all chips. It's surprisingly doable if you prepare. I have now added back dairy and alcohol but try to keep out the flour and sugar and the weight stays off.

Once you get the diet under control, check out the Blogilates PIIT (pilates intense interval training) program also by Cassey Ho. It's free, on youtube, and is 28 minutes per day that you can do in your house. About as easy/cheap as you're going to get and very good results. There are TONS of free or very cheap streaming workouts that you can do in your house and are very effective.

[Anonymous]

+1000 to focusing on your diet. After that, try to up the number of steps you are getting in a day. First aim for 5000 steps/day and work your way up to 10,000 steps every day.

[Anonymous]

One thing that has helped me OP, I avoid the grocery stores that put all the junk in the aisles. Mainly shop at places like Harris Teeter or whole foods (which has sadly gone downhill and is now pushing junky health foods.) Basically, any store where they aren't tempting you to buy as much junk. That's step one.

[Anonymous]

On a podcast I was listening to recently, I heard the phrase, "you crave the foods you eat."

It really stuck with me. If you eat sugar and crap, you crave sugar and crap. I used to binge some in my 20s, I was just extreme all around. I'd eat REALLY great or I'd binge. I'd exercise a ton. it was all focused on weight, not health.

Now in my 40s, I eat so much healthier and mainly walk and do yoga for exercise. I focus on health, not weight but the result is I'm thin as ever. I eat a ton of fruit (I'm a big fan of smoothie and throwing fresh or frozen berries depending on the season) on yogurt or oatmeal. I've found it really helps cut my sweet tooth. I don't crave sugar anymore. I like a little dessert but it doesn't control me. I don't believe in diets that limit fruits and veggies (I know there a lot of keto fans here, if that works for you great but it's not for me).

Eat real, whole foods. It's hard at first, but it gets so much easier.