Frustrated with Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it's his fault you forgot your coffee? Your perfect and he sucks? It's a hatchback, so it's not a rolls Royce. Get over yourself. You're making him hate you.

Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t suck to have a new car messed up, Rolls Royce or not

It's an F...ing car! If he scratches the shit out of the kid, then blow your top. The car can be fixed.

Not OP, but that’s the thing. He could accidentally scratch the kid next. He goes on autopilot, his mind is in the clouds, and he’s not paying attention to his surroundings. Not good.

OP again... even today, I was making dinner and DD came in and asked where DH was. I panicked because he was supposed to be playing with her. He’d left her outside by herself.

He left a three old outside by herself? I call troll.

OP again... not a troll, I swear! But yes, this happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m here to commiserate, OP.

After a multi-thousand dollar mess-up and a blowout fight, DH started on Adderol and finally admitted he has major executive functioning issues. He also had a SAHM and a dad who did everything for him.

Unfortunately I suspect his job gets the benefit of the Adderol, that is, when he even remembers to take it. It’s been a month and I see no changes. We’ve tried therapy. It did nothing. After the fight, I told DH that if he can’t become a functioning adult, he’ll need to move out and learn to live on his own. He wants to function, and he’s trying with the drugs, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Did he make it through college?

OP here... yes, he has a bachelors and an MBA. High GPA for both (higher than mine TBH).

And he has major executive functioning issues??

His "issues" are clearly selective.

[Anonymous]

He's married to his job, and wants wife
to be responsible for everything at home.

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m here to commiserate, OP.

After a multi-thousand dollar mess-up and a blowout fight, DH started on Adderol and finally admitted he has major executive functioning issues. He also had a SAHM and a dad who did everything for him.

Unfortunately I suspect his job gets the benefit of the Adderol, that is, when he even remembers to take it. It’s been a month and I see no changes. We’ve tried therapy. It did nothing. After the fight, I told DH that if he can’t become a functioning adult, he’ll need to move out and learn to live on his own. He wants to function, and he’s trying with the drugs, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Did he make it through college?

OP here... yes, he has a bachelors and an MBA. High GPA for both (higher than mine TBH).

And he has major executive functioning issues??

His "issues" are clearly selective.

You are mixing up OP’s DH with PP’s story of her DH.

[Anonymous]

He's probably a charmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's married to his job, and wants wife
to be responsible for everything at home.

OP here... actually no, not even close. He prefers me to work, as do I. We discussed long before we were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married to his job, and wants wife
to be responsible for everything at home.

OP here... actually no, not even close. He prefers me to work, as do I. We discussed long before we were married.

But he won't get your car fixed. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry him?

He is a very kind person, smart, similar core values (ethics, morals, etc), very supportive of my careeer, we have good chemistry, he’s not bad to look at either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married to his job, and wants wife
to be responsible for everything at home.

OP here... actually no, not even close. He prefers me to work, as do I. We discussed long before we were married.

But he won't get your car fixed. Ok.

You have reading comprehension issues. Previous posts state that he would go get it fixed ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. You do have two kids. Did his mommy spoil him rotten, and do everything for him?

OP here... in my opinion, yes. He had a SAHM and didn’t learn to do laundry till college. He barely knows how to cook. When we are at his parents house and he clears the table and does dishes, his mom practically throws a parade! I came from a home of two full time working parents. Where the cook doesn’t clean, I did my own laundry at 12, had daily chores, etc.

We’ve been together 15+ years and lived together 13 of those. It’s gotten so much worse since we had a child. It takes me breaking down, crying, every few months before he gets it ... for awhile and then it begins again.

Not that it matters, but income wise we are almost 50/50 so it should be the same at home!

I just LOST IT when he messed up my new car. We live so conservatively and I’ve waited forever to have a nice, new (to me) car.

I'm with you. Working women are usually getting a bad deal. This is why dual income parents do tons of outsourcing. Mom doesn't want double duty.

But why do we marry these lazy-as* mama's boy "men"?

Fiqure out "natural consequences" for him.

OP again... I get what you are saying but it always still ends up being my problem. Like with my car... he says he will take care of getting it fixed. But it will likely leave me without a car on a work day which I need for client meetings and will also cost money that yes, we have but no, I don’t want to spend on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married to his job, and wants wife
to be responsible for everything at home.

OP here... actually no, not even close. He prefers me to work, as do I. We discussed long before we were married.

But he won't get your car fixed. Ok.

You have reading comprehension issues. Previous posts state that he would go get it fixed ?

You have the issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. We are one and done. I don’t know how to explain it ... it’s like since we’ve had a child, he is just oblivious to what’s going on around him. Our daughter will ask over and over for something, after I just got her something else, so I tell her to go ask her dad and he just blocks her out, until one of us (me or DD) yells at him to get his attention. We went on vacation a couple months ago, just the two of us, and the whole time, anytime we left anyplace, I was like “phone, keys, wallet”? And half the time, he needed that reminder... it’s exhausting. This is what I expect to do for a 3 year old, NOT for a 38 year old.

What would happen if you let him forget his phone, keys, wallet? It's probable that the hassle that goes into dealing with those things will lead him to care more about not losing. He may lose his wallet, may even do it more than once, but the intervals between the times will probably grow. Let him make mistakes, let him fail. If you're constantly saving him he has no reason to need to pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry about your new car. I know that must be frustrating. Having a three year old is HARD. You crying every few months is not normal. I would get counseling for yourself and get your spouse to join you. Good luck.

I agree with this post. While all of your issues are valid issues to be stressed about, it seems you're letting them weigh too much on you. You won't be able to change your husband so you need to start taking care of yourself. It sounds like you're letting all the little things that bother you mount and mount until you explode. As cliche as it is, you need some self-care time. Start prioritizing exercise or a hobby or whatever you need to unwind.

[Anonymous]

99% of garage doors with auto openers have sensors so they will not close if something like a HATCHBACK is in the way.

Perhaps you are in the 1%.