My husband ignores my safety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have Asperger's?

Just stop.

Why? It is a common trait or people with Aspergers not to have empathy for others. If he doesn't have it, obviously he is just a selfish ass, but we need to know the context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were you doing with your head inside a blanket chest? And why didn't you have your hand on the lid so it wouldn't bang down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have Asperger's?

Just stop.

Why? It is a common trait or people with Aspergers not to have empathy for others. If he doesn't have it, obviously he is just a selfish ass, but we need to know the context.

I have a daughter with autism and she is the first person to run in whenever she hears a bump or cry. They are quite sensitive and, if raised appropriately, try very hard to be helpful and do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is sick of you being a klutz.

This is harsh. Something is wrong with a partner that ignores their immediate blood relative crying out in pain. I am assuming it is not an every day occurrence. This PP would make a great partner for your DH, OP! Until it happened to them, of course - which it would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is sick of you being a klutz.

[Anonymous]

My head was inside the chest because I was looking for a toy at the bottom, but the issue is his indifference, which is very wearing. He's just one of those people who never thinks of others. He prepares food and drinks for himself without ever offering to do so for me or the kids, spends lavishly on himself while I save and ignores special occasions. I can't even get him to maintain the cars. I guess I can only blame myself for having a family with this jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

You can be calm and sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

PP here. Funny, there was no drama in my house, but we certainly did not bury our heads in a screen or a book to purposefully ignore each other, and never pretend we didn't hear someone, especially if someone was in pain. The normal thing to do is ask someone if they are alright. In DH's house, they would laugh, ignore or antagonize before they would ask that, which is why I am concerned for OP. Some people are sick in the head. OP might need to seek help to get out of a bad situation. Maybe your parents thought your house was normal - but not everyone's family thinks it is one extreme or the other, because it is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

You can be calm and sympathetic.

Thank you. Who are these psychopaths and sociopaths who don't acknowledge each other in their own house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

This is how I interpret this as well. Was your husband there when you broke your arm? did he drive you to the ER (or doctors or wherever)? I've been raised to take care of myself. If I hit my head, I don't need my husband to come running to...what....rub my head? I don't need sympathy for being a klutz.Your DH may just be a matter of fact kind of guy. You need a ride to the ER, he's there. You need him to coddle you.... call your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My head was inside the chest because I was looking for a toy at the bottom, but the issue is his indifference, which is very wearing. He's just one of those people who never thinks of others. He prepares food and drinks for himself without ever offering to do so for me or the kids, spends lavishly on himself while I save and ignores special occasions. I can't even get him to maintain the cars. I guess I can only blame myself for having a family with this jerk.

+1

OP, at least you see the problem. I hope you are strong enough to find what is right for you and your children. Being with someone like this is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be unsympathetic to things like this. I don't seek sympathy or give any to myself either. Like another poster said, yell help if you need help. I wouldn't expect my husband to come running because I bumped my head and made a noise. If I was hurt (broke my arm) and needed help I'd ask for help.

Wondering what your home environment was like? Was everyone like this? It seems very hostile to me.

I'm not this poster, but my house growing up was like this. We were just calm people. My DH"s family is the opposite, just high drama people. Someone cut their finger in the kitchen, they are all screaming about how maybe that person should go the ER for stitches. Really, it just needs a bandaid. Bang your head? Scream that you were almost knocked out and talk about you might have a concussion. After a while, it's eye-rolling.

This is how I interpret this as well. Was your husband there when you broke your arm? did he drive you to the ER (or doctors or wherever)? I've been raised to take care of myself. If I hit my head, I don't need my husband to come running to...what....rub my head? I don't need sympathy for being a klutz.Your DH may just be a matter of fact kind of guy. You need a ride to the ER, he's there. You need him to coddle you.... call your mother.

Calm down. It's okay. Don't be so dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have Asperger's?

Just stop.

Why? It is a common trait or people with Aspergers not to have empathy for others. If he doesn't have it, obviously he is just a selfish ass, but we need to know the context.

I have a daughter with autism and she is the first person to run in whenever she hears a bump or cry. They are quite sensitive and, if raised appropriately, try very hard to be helpful and do the right thing.

+1

Key words here. You are a good mom.