Are all moms kind of lame or just my mom friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have really funny well behaved kids, and I work full time. So yes, when I'm not working I want to be with them. And I still love the crap out of DH and want to spend as much time with him as I can. I don't really want to do a girls weekend and miss two full days of my kids. I barely see them three hours a day during the week. Weekends are our time to catch up with each other.

This. If I didn't work, maybe I would be more okay with missing out on DD and DH. But I see them too little as it is, and I like them and want to be with them.

If I'm going to be away from them, ideally it's doing something I need to do, like working out. So if you want to meet me for an evening walk in this beautiful fall weather, great. If you want to chat while we roam the grocery, maybe we could do that and grab a bite. I but I don't want to go back downtown for dinner or away for the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those moms with no time, money, or willing family babysitters. I'm happy to do evenings if it's planned in advance and not super late on weeknights, but I don't have any interest in getting away for entire weekends. PP who mentioned women away from their kids 60 hours a week not wanting to miss them on weekends too was spot on. I really appreciate and value my frienda who are willing to meet me at my level.

Op here. I get it. I know. I was just venting. The first few years of motherhood were a blur. When I worked, I missed my kids. I still met up with my then childless friends. I would bring the baby with me.

If it was ok for you to bring your baby with you back then, then why isn't it ok to meet with your friends + their children now?

[Anonymous]

OP - it sounds like you need more rich SAHM friends like yourself. Join a moms group (in Arlington, we have MONA - tons of rich SAHMs!).

If your friends are anything like me, they're spending all their time with work, children, keeping up with laundry, keeping the house clean, getting groceries, etc. And they're spending all their money on daycare/aftercare/camps for their children. DH and I have a very limited amount of "fun money" in our budget right now, and I'd personally rather save that money for a fun family vacation than a girls' weekend out.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you can see from this thread that the answer to your question is yes, most moms are lame. If I knew you IRL I would invite you out with my friends. You are not the only one that wants to have time away from your kids and unlike the implications of some of the PPs, it doesn't make you a bad mom.

You could also make the assumption that the non-lame moms aren't replying to this because they are out having fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it sounds like you need more rich SAHM friends like yourself. Join a moms group (in Arlington, we have MONA - tons of rich SAHMs!).

If your friends are anything like me, they're spending all their time with work, children, keeping up with laundry, keeping the house clean, getting groceries, etc. And they're spending all their money on daycare/aftercare/camps for their children. DH and I have a very limited amount of "fun money" in our budget right now, and I'd personally rather save that money for a fun family vacation than a girls' weekend out.

Why do you assume she's rich? She doesn't need to pay for a sitter to spend an evening out with her friends if she has a husband!

[Anonymous]

Wow OP. I guess by your definition, most moms are "lame." I work full time and I have a toddler who I actually enjoy, so most of my free time is spent with said toddler. Also, my partner and I work opposite hours, so I can't just have him watch said child so I can go out whenever. I do keep up with friends though, we do child friendly activities or I host at my place after bed time. Maybe you are just so shitty no one wants to make time for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really funny well behaved kids, and I work full time. So yes, when I'm not working I want to be with them. And I still love the crap out of DH and want to spend as much time with him as I can. I don't really want to do a girls weekend and miss two full days of my kids. I barely see them three hours a day during the week. Weekends are our time to catch up with each other.

This. If I didn't work, maybe I would be more okay with missing out on DD and DH. But I see them too little as it is, and I like them and want to be with them.

If I'm going to be away from them, ideally it's doing something I need to do, like working out. So if you want to meet me for an evening walk in this beautiful fall weather, great. If you want to chat while we roam the grocery, maybe we could do that and grab a bite. I but I don't want to go back downtown for dinner or away for the weekend.

Maybe spending time with friends is something OP "needs" to do. I get my exercise by biking to work so I don't have to work out. For my mental health I need to have time alone/with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. I guess by your definition, most moms are "lame." I work full time and I have a toddler who I actually enjoy, so most of my free time is spent with said toddler. Also, my partner and I work opposite hours, so I can't just have him watch said child so I can go out whenever. I do keep up with friends though, we do child friendly activities or I host at my place after bed time. Maybe you are just so shitty no one wants to make time for you?

Oh you're definitely one of the lame moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really funny well behaved kids, and I work full time. So yes, when I'm not working I want to be with them. And I still love the crap out of DH and want to spend as much time with him as I can. I don't really want to do a girls weekend and miss two full days of my kids. I barely see them three hours a day during the week. Weekends are our time to catch up with each other.

This. If I didn't work, maybe I would be more okay with missing out on DD and DH. But I see them too little as it is, and I like them and want to be with them.

If I'm going to be away from them, ideally it's doing something I need to do, like working out. So if you want to meet me for an evening walk in this beautiful fall weather, great. If you want to chat while we roam the grocery, maybe we could do that and grab a bite. I but I don't want to go back downtown for dinner or away for the weekend.

Maybe spending time with friends is something OP "needs" to do. I get my exercise by biking to work so I don't have to work out. For my mental health I need to have time alone/with friends.

Sure, that's fine. But if OP wants to spend time with these specific moms who don't seem to prioritize going out, she could meet them halfway by literally meeting them where they are. She doesn't have to do so, but in that case she probably needs different friends who want to spend their time the way OP does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. I guess by your definition, most moms are "lame." I work full time and I have a toddler who I actually enjoy, so most of my free time is spent with said toddler. Also, my partner and I work opposite hours, so I can't just have him watch said child so I can go out whenever. I do keep up with friends though, we do child friendly activities or I host at my place after bed time. Maybe you are just so shitty no one wants to make time for you?

Oh you're definitely one of the lame moms.

Yes, definitely lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, I can't relate.

I feel that my time with my children is fleeting and there's nothing I want more than be with them as a family.
My oldest is 13. Soon he'll be off to live his own life. I cherish the moments we have together.

Do you feel guilty for going out one night (dinner, drinks) or spending a weekend away with your friends?

[Anonymous]

I've been away twice since my almost 3 yo was born, and I've said no at least 10 times in that time. Thank God my friends are understanding and dont call me lame when I'm just trying to keep my head above water,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, I can't relate.

I feel that my time with my children is fleeting and there's nothing I want more than be with them as a family.
My oldest is 13. Soon he'll be off to live his own life. I cherish the moments we have together.

Do you feel guilty for going out one night (dinner, drinks) or spending a weekend away with your friends?

One night, no, actually I have one planned for next week. They are few and far between. But I would not enjoy a weekend away from my children. I MISS my children when I am away from them, just as they miss me. Guilt doesn't come into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, I can't relate.

I feel that my time with my children is fleeting and there's nothing I want more than be with them as a family.
My oldest is 13. Soon he'll be off to live his own life. I cherish the moments we have together.

Do you feel guilty for going out one night (dinner, drinks) or spending a weekend away with your friends?

One night, no, actually I have one planned for next week. They are few and far between. But I would not enjoy a weekend away from my children. I MISS my children when I am away from them, just as they miss me. Guilt doesn't come into it.

You need to work on cutting the cord. It's a wonder they can even make it through the school day without you!

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Sorry, I can't relate.

I feel that my time with my children is fleeting and there's nothing I want more than be with them as a family.
My oldest is 13. Soon he'll be off to live his own life. I cherish the moments we have together.

[/quote]

Do you feel guilty for going out one night (dinner, drinks) or spending a weekend away with your friends?[/quote]

One night, no, actually I have one planned for next week. They are few and far between. But I would not enjoy a weekend away from my children. I MISS my children when I am away from them, just as they miss me. Guilt doesn't come into it.

[/quote]


When I was a young single professional, I had a middle aged coworker who was excited to go away for the first time. She must have been 45 or so. I thought she was pathetic, not just lame.

And I didn’t want anything to do with my parents at age 13.
You need to work on cutting the cord. It's a wonder they can even make it through the school day without you![/quote]