Are all moms kind of lame or just my mom friends?

[Anonymous]

I was the first amongst my friends to have a kid. Now I’m 40 and everyone has kids. My friends can’t or won’t go away ever. They have limited time and money or just don’t want to go away. I have 3 kids. These kids make me want a break! DH reminds me that not everyone has the resources to just go away. When my oldest was a baby/toddler, my friends were still single and getting married. We would go out often and go away. New mom friends also seem fine hanging out with kids but evenings and weekends seem to be reserved for husbands?

Maybe I’m the only one who wants to escape my 3 young children.

[Anonymous]

Ugh I feel your pain. It seems like most moms these days have their own cases of separation anxiety. Their entire lives revolve around their kids and they can't fathom being without them for anything other than work. It's bizarre and unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I feel your pain. It seems like most moms these days have their own cases of separation anxiety. Their entire lives revolve around their kids and they can't fathom being without them for anything other than work. It's bizarre and unhealthy.

Op here. And I have been with my husband for 15 years. Really don’t need to see him every single second he is home. Plus he wants some alone time too.

[Anonymous]

I’d think you’d have a little more sympathy. Your friends are in the sh—t, as they say, and as older moms don’t have the energy younger moms do. Also, do they work FT? I know when mine were little I felt like I already didn’t see them 60 hours a week and to give up more time with them felt kind of crappy. Work was my “me” time.
If they are rrally your friends, you’ll hang in there and be there when they emerge when their kids are more self sufficient. Can’t you just hang out with them and their little ones? My three would love it if I had friends with babies. Babies are second only to puppies and kitties in their preferred ways to spend their time.

[Anonymous]

oh Shut up. You are probably one of those people with eight willing family babysitter. I have tons of friends like you, thinking that everyone has grandparents who are jumping to come down and take care of their kids. No one in my family is willing or able to keep my kids overnight. I could hire someone, but seriously, what a pain. I’m rich, but my family sucks and my kids are young my husband works 80 hour weeks and I’m tired. (And I’m not even an “old” mom) Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d think you’d have a little more sympathy. Your friends are in the sh—t, as they say, and as older moms don’t have the energy younger moms do. Also, do they work FT? I know when mine were little I felt like I already didn’t see them 60 hours a week and to give up more time with them felt kind of crappy. Work was my “me” time.
If they are rrally your friends, you’ll hang in there and be there when they emerge when their kids are more self sufficient. Can’t you just hang out with them and their little ones? My three would love it if I had friends with babies. Babies are second only to puppies and kitties in their preferred ways to spend their time.

I have kids ranging from 2 to 10. When my oldest was younger, I tried to make mom friends and many are still friends. We hang out as families. We have many families we socialize with.

I’m done making friends through my kids. The friends I do have seem unable to leave their family. Some work. Some don’t.

[Anonymous]

I am a newish Mom and I just went away with girlfriends for a weekend for the first time. Our child is 2.5. When #2 arrives, I won't be able to get away while still nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh Shut up. You are probably one of those people with eight willing family babysitter. I have tons of friends like you, thinking that everyone has grandparents who are jumping to come down and take care of their kids. No one in my family is willing or able to keep my kids overnight. I could hire someone, but seriously, what a pain. I’m rich, but my family sucks and my kids are young my husband works 80 hour weeks and I’m tired. (And I’m not even an “old” mom) Give me a break.

We actually have no local family. We do have paid help and I have a husband. DH can take care of kids with paid help to help him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the first amongst my friends to have a kid. Now I’m 40 and everyone has kids. My friends can’t or won’t go away ever. They have limited time and money or just don’t want to go away. I have 3 kids. These kids make me want a break! DH reminds me that not everyone has the resources to just go away. When my oldest was a baby/toddler, my friends were still single and getting married. We would go out often and go away. New mom friends also seem fine hanging out with kids but evenings and weekends seem to be reserved for husbands?

Maybe I’m the only one who wants to escape my 3 young children.

You answered your own question. Your friends have limited time and money.

And honestly, the few hours of me time I am able to get here and there may not be something I want use up hanging out with you especially at the end of the day. And especially if it means i have to spend money.

[Anonymous]

I have really funny well behaved kids, and I work full time. So yes, when I'm not working I want to be with them. And I still love the crap out of DH and want to spend as much time with him as I can. I don't really want to do a girls weekend and miss two full days of my kids. I barely see them three hours a day during the week. Weekends are our time to catch up with each other.

[Anonymous]

I am one of those moms with no time, money, or willing family babysitters. I'm happy to do evenings if it's planned in advance and not super late on weeknights, but I don't have any interest in getting away for entire weekends. PP who mentioned women away from their kids 60 hours a week not wanting to miss them on weekends too was spot on. I really appreciate and value my frienda who are willing to meet me at my level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those moms with no time, money, or willing family babysitters. I'm happy to do evenings if it's planned in advance and not super late on weeknights, but I don't have any interest in getting away for entire weekends. PP who mentioned women away from their kids 60 hours a week not wanting to miss them on weekends too was spot on. I really appreciate and value my frienda who are willing to meet me at my level.

Op here. I get it. I know. I was just venting. The first few years of motherhood were a blur. When I worked, I missed my kids. I still met up with my then childless friends. I would bring the baby with me.

[Anonymous]

For years I didn't have money (I was a SAHM) Now I have money but less time and energy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those moms with no time, money, or willing family babysitters. I'm happy to do evenings if it's planned in advance and not super late on weeknights, but I don't have any interest in getting away for entire weekends. PP who mentioned women away from their kids 60 hours a week not wanting to miss them on weekends too was spot on. I really appreciate and value my frienda who are willing to meet me at my level.

Op here. I get it. I know. I was just venting. The first few years of motherhood were a blur. When I worked, I missed my kids. I still met up with my then childless friends. I would bring the baby with me.

Fair enough, venting is understandable. It's tough being in a different stage than your friends. The ones who figure out ways to make it work even if not ideal are the really good ones.

[Anonymous]

I get you OP, but I’m home with my kids. Most moms I know work outside the home and I completely understand they want their free time to be with their kids. I, on the other hand, love a break. The moms I don’t get are the ones home with their kids who also can’t seem to manage to get away ever. Even for a dinner out, they can’t meet up until after the kids are in bed? Maybe I’m just an outlier with a DH capable of doing that himself, but it seems like these moms don’t trust their husbands to handle anything.