Is "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" a year after divorce plausible?

[Anonymous]

He is not into you. No reason to give you this line except to lower your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm married and I'm ready for a serious relationship now. The marriage doesn't count, of course. I want something fulfilling.

[Anonymous]

He wants friends with benefits and is being honest with you. Believe him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wants friends with benefits and is being honest with you. Believe him.

This. Sounds like he’s honorable. Don’t make him seem like a dick if you catch feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female here. Divorced for 2 years, separated for another 2. Between dating and marriage we were together for 24 years. 3 kids. I am not remotely ready for a relationship or even casual dating.
He is being honest. You can be honest with him too. Tell him you DOwant something serious so you are moving on.
Good luck

Why not casual dating ?

Different PP, but even casual dating can sometimes ask more of you than you are ready to give. I went through a long period of really wanting to be selfish other than to my kids. I wanted to eat where I pleased, see the movies I preferred, and listen to the music I loved. Even on a casual date, you have to compromise a little or you’ll be an ass. I wasn’t there yet after ten years of always being the one to give up what I wanted.

Got it. I guess it depends on your mindset. I found dating other people was great after being in marriage hell - it was reaffirming. But I did learn after a while that I probably should have had a longer break.

[Anonymous]

Oh hell yes. I have been married for 7, separated for 1.5, almost final. 6 year old. I will not be ready for a serious relationship for awhile. After dating for awhile, wanting a boyfriend, I realized most people are crazy, and there is no way I'm wasting any more time until I'm for sure you're not crazy. Or that I'm really into someone.

[Anonymous]

After I divorced, I just wanted to go really slow in terms of emotion and commitment. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't falling into the same patterns from my marriage, and that I wasn't moving forward with someone just because I was afraid of being alone. I dated a couple people who I probably would have gotten serious with right away before my marriage, but I needed to move a lot slower after the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Hmm...I know a divorced dad of teens. He dates (a lot), but he won't get serious.

Personally, I think he has zero interest in remarrying. Maybe one day after his kids have launched. I respect him for not bringing strange women around. He dates when the kids are with their mom.

He's very good looking, kind, and financially stable. Women chase him. He gets the action he needs, but doesn't commit. He doesn't have to, and I don't think he wants to.

The bottom line is that if a guy wants to be with you, then he will. There's nothing you can do to force it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I know a divorced dad of teens. He dates (a lot), but he won't get serious.

Personally, I think he has zero interest in remarrying. Maybe one day after his kids have launched. I respect him for not bringing strange women around. He dates when the kids are with their mom.

He's very good looking, kind, and financially stable. Women chase him. He gets the action he needs, but doesn't commit. He doesn't have to, and I don't think he wants to.

The bottom line is that if a guy wants to be with you, then he will. There's nothing you can do to force it.

Op here. Hmm. Is this guy in DC?

I'm attracted to him but I wouldn't say he is drop dead gorgeous. And I know this sounds super catty - but I'm definitely better looking and in better shape than his ex.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I know a divorced dad of teens. He dates (a lot), but he won't get serious.

Personally, I think he has zero interest in remarrying. Maybe one day after his kids have launched. I respect him for not bringing strange women around. He dates when the kids are with their mom.

He's very good looking, kind, and financially stable. Women chase him. He gets the action he needs, but doesn't commit. He doesn't have to, and I don't think he wants to.

The bottom line is that if a guy wants to be with you, then he will. There's nothing you can do to force it.

Op here. Hmm. Is this guy in DC?

I'm attracted to him but I wouldn't say he is drop dead gorgeous. And I know this sounds super catty - but I'm definitely better looking and in better shape than his ex.....

His ex isn’t your competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I know a divorced dad of teens. He dates (a lot), but he won't get serious.

Personally, I think he has zero interest in remarrying. Maybe one day after his kids have launched. I respect him for not bringing strange women around. He dates when the kids are with their mom.

He's very good looking, kind, and financially stable. Women chase him. He gets the action he needs, but doesn't commit. He doesn't have to, and I don't think he wants to.

The bottom line is that if a guy wants to be with you, then he will. There's nothing you can do to force it.

Op here. Hmm. Is this guy in DC?

I'm attracted to him but I wouldn't say he is drop dead gorgeous. And I know this sounds super catty - but I'm definitely better looking and in better shape than his ex.....

So? You're probably just his bootycall.

[Anonymous]

Slightly O/T but what about a recently (6 mo) divorced mom of teenagers who's dating a lot? Is that uncommon? What does that say about her mindset?

[Anonymous]

He's just not that into you, unfortunately. Move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I know a divorced dad of teens. He dates (a lot), but he won't get serious.

Personally, I think he has zero interest in remarrying. Maybe one day after his kids have launched. I respect him for not bringing strange women around. He dates when the kids are with their mom.

He's very good looking, kind, and financially stable. Women chase him. He gets the action he needs, but doesn't commit. He doesn't have to, and I don't think he wants to.

The bottom line is that if a guy wants to be with you, then he will. There's nothing you can do to force it.

Op here. Hmm. Is this guy in DC?

I'm attracted to him but I wouldn't say he is drop dead gorgeous. And I know this sounds super catty - but I'm definitely better looking and in better shape than his ex.....

He has a family and 20 years of history with that woman. Believe it or not, your body is not enough to overcome that gravity.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Yeah, my comment about looks comparison was irrelevant.

All this is really making me re think dating guys who are divorced, period. Especially the ones who have been married for so long and basically grew up with someone. It feels almost like I am dating someone else's husband. I only started being willing to date divorced guys a year ago and now I'm thinking I should stop. I want a serious relationship and if so many divorced people don't or or possibly hung up on their ex wives, maybe I am wasting my time.