Just curious about something as we enter our 40's...

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think this happens but it's rare. Most of my friends who are long term married have sex to keep the marital glue, not out of a sense of desire. Perhaps these high libido women are single.


Keeping the martial glue is a form of desire though its certainly different from the desire when dating.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This thread is only getting self selective responses from the rare high libido women. Truth be told few married women have much sex drive and definitely it’s not for her boring familiar husband.


This is the truth across the masses.
Anonymous
I'm 43 and have not noticed any increase or change at all. My highest libido was in my early 20s and after that it was all downhill. I'm not on any birth control and never have been.
Anonymous
INcrease desire but not for husband is the real scenario unfortunately.
Anonymous
I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:38/M here. We've been married for 13 years and as we go through our late 30's and are close to our 40's I'm curious about something. I've heard before that when a couple enters their 40's the wife's sex drive elevates as the male's declines. The woman is more often the initiator in bed and needs more satisfaction than she did in her younger years. Is that usually true or is that just a load of crap someone told me? I know everyone's personal experience can vary by health of the relationship, health of the couple, divorces, cheating, etc, but we are just a boring healthy couple with a track record of a healthy long marriage. Just curious what others experience has been.


Definitely not my experience. Wife’s sex drive same or slightly less. Mine still high.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is only getting self selective responses from the rare high libido women. Truth be told few married women have much sex drive and definitely it’s not for her boring familiar husband.


This is the truth across the masses.


+1
Anonymous
yes its very true for me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.



So much patronizing! I can see why you are still single
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.



How can you be high drive and not have sex for 10 years? I don’t consider myself high drive anymore (mid thirties), but I could never go 1 month without sex
Anonymous
Early 40s is prime cheating time for wives.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.



So much patronizing! I can see why you are still single


Please, just stop. If it is difficult for you to accept that everyone is not like you, then so be it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.



How can you be high drive and not have sex for 10 years? I don’t consider myself high drive anymore (mid thirties), but I could never go 1 month without sex


It was a combined 10 years and there was a pregnancy in the mix. There was a lot of self-control and meditation during those years too
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the single high-libido older women. The one constant thread that I have heard from similar friends, is that they do not compromise on the quality of sex in a relationship. It's a deal breaker. We know this is important in our relationships AND DO NOT BEGRUDGE OTHERS WHO DO NOT VALUE IT. We are all fit, attractive, and very successful too, so we have no problem attracting men.

Honestly, many men aren't that good in bed, especially over the long haul, so there is a constant one-sided push to keep things interesting. I often get stereotyped too, for being interested in and knowledgeable about sex. Men think that since you are "good" you must have many miles on you and this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was celibate for at least 10 years, so most married women will have more "miles" of their particular model than me. I am also very particular about my partners, so most won't make the "cut." I know I know that if I get into a relationship with someone who doesn't value sex, that I will not be happy.

Because our society has such negative connotations of women and sex, think slut shaming, it is actually very difficult to be a high-libido woman in America.



How can you be high drive and not have sex for 10 years? I don’t consider myself high drive anymore (mid thirties), but I could never go 1 month without sex


It was a combined 10 years and there was a pregnancy in the mix. There was a lot of self-control and meditation during those years too


Combined or not you are not high drive...
Anonymous
OP here. For the folks that are saying that it doesn't increase, or if it does increase it's for someone else...is it just because the husbands don't take care of themselves? Or they don't take care of their marriage? What are the varying factors?
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