Do you regret having just one kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I do not regret it. I love having one. And if I am going to be honest I'll say this:

I had a child bc everyone said how awesome it was. Nobody said how hard it was (or if they did I tuned it out). I thought having kids was just what you did and it was this blissful thing.

Well, I am 3 years into parenthood, and it is hard every single day. If any of my child-free friends asked me if they should have kids, I would honestly tell them no. I have struggled every day with having to give so much to one tiny human and have no bandwidth to take care of myself.

When I even think about two kids, now I LISTEN to what people say. And people say it is HARD. My friend just told me yesterday..."when I think back on my life with one, I wonder what I did with all my free time." I personally cannot be happy like that - I am not wired to give in that way. I know that in the long game, siblings are awesome, but the short game would destroy me.

My LO has three half siblings who are older. It is not the same, but we cultivate the relationship as a high priority. And we do same with family and cousins - to the extent that I am actively planning our move south in 2 years so my kid will grow up with his cousins.

on what planet nobody said how hard it was? maybe you weren't listening. most people most of the time talk about difficulties. i knew about sleepless nights 10 years before i had kids.

Yeah seriously. I spent all of my 20's listening to people bitch about how it was just soooooo hard to be a mother, and you become a cook, driver, blah blah and have like 10 jobs. Now I have a child and yes of course there are hard parts but it is NO WHERE NEAR as difficult as people make it out to be.

That’s because it’s easy to be the mother of one child (given they are not special needs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

Again, because you think the only thing to "do" is raise children, or work? God, your life must be so sad and limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

who is doing nothng in retirement? the same mom martyrs who live vicariously through their kids and have no identity other than mom. These are the ones that pester the kid to come visit all the time. Get a life, now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

It’s not the only thing, but it surely makes life more interesting and full

[Anonymous]

No regrets here, WE have a 5yo in K and love having one kid. Our HHI is only 130,000 so daycare was a factor for us, plus we like to travel and she comes with us. Would be so much harder with 2.
Would be harder to pay for gymastics, swimming etc too.

Then theres the bickering........dont miss that at all.

[Anonymous]

DH wanted to stop at 1. I always knew i wanted two. I convinced him about the benefits of having 2 and we could not be happier with our decision. DH now wants a third!
If you can afford it (I know you mentioned tht financially life might be a little harder with 2, but dis not seem inpossible), I would absolutely do it. As of now my kids are each other’s bff. Of course they fight and bikers, but they also always play together, sleepy together, eat together. They love each other so much that’s i could never imagine my life with only 1 of them

[Anonymous]

As I sit here 2 days away from a hysterectomy due to fibroids (heavy cant leave the house bleeding) I regret that I didnt have more than one child with my husband. But I also feel damn lucky. We tried for several years had a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and 1 healthy DD. I had a plan for my life...it didnt turn out the way I thought. That's life.....enjoy what you have not what could have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

who is doing nothng in retirement? the same mom martyrs who live vicariously through their kids and have no identity other than mom. These are the ones that pester the kid to come visit all the time. Get a life, now.

so what are the interesting things you are doing in retirement? traveling while everyone laughs at you, bothering others with your stories, golfing? retired people are bored and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I do not regret it. I love having one. And if I am going to be honest I'll say this:

I had a child bc everyone said how awesome it was. Nobody said how hard it was (or if they did I tuned it out). I thought having kids was just what you did and it was this blissful thing.

Well, I am 3 years into parenthood, and it is hard every single day. If any of my child-free friends asked me if they should have kids, I would honestly tell them no. I have struggled every day with having to give so much to one tiny human and have no bandwidth to take care of myself.

When I even think about two kids, now I LISTEN to what people say. And people say it is HARD. My friend just told me yesterday..."when I think back on my life with one, I wonder what I did with all my free time." I personally cannot be happy like that - I am not wired to give in that way. I know that in the long game, siblings are awesome, but the short game would destroy me.

My LO has three half siblings who are older. It is not the same, but we cultivate the relationship as a high priority. And we do same with family and cousins - to the extent that I am actively planning our move south in 2 years so my kid will grow up with his cousins.

on what planet nobody said how hard it was? maybe you weren't listening. most people most of the time talk about difficulties. i knew about sleepless nights 10 years before i had kids.

Yeah seriously. I spent all of my 20's listening to people bitch about how it was just soooooo hard to be a mother, and you become a cook, driver, blah blah and have like 10 jobs. Now I have a child and yes of course there are hard parts but it is NO WHERE NEAR as difficult as people make it out to be.

+10000 I had my first and only at 42, I'm the eldest of 5 and have tons of nieces/nephews (some biologically related and some friends' kids). Being a parent is hard, but not in any of the ways people complain about. I was cooking, cleaning, driving, etc way before I had a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

who is doing nothng in retirement? the same mom martyrs who live vicariously through their kids and have no identity other than mom. These are the ones that pester the kid to come visit all the time. Get a life, now.

so what are the interesting things you are doing in retirement? traveling while everyone laughs at you, bothering others with your stories, golfing? retired people are bored and boring.

people laugh at retirees who travel or have hobbies? this is news to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I do not regret it. I love having one. And if I am going to be honest I'll say this:

I had a child bc everyone said how awesome it was. Nobody said how hard it was (or if they did I tuned it out). I thought having kids was just what you did and it was this blissful thing.

Well, I am 3 years into parenthood, and it is hard every single day. If any of my child-free friends asked me if they should have kids, I would honestly tell them no. I have struggled every day with having to give so much to one tiny human and have no bandwidth to take care of myself.

When I even think about two kids, now I LISTEN to what people say. And people say it is HARD. My friend just told me yesterday..."when I think back on my life with one, I wonder what I did with all my free time." I personally cannot be happy like that - I am not wired to give in that way. I know that in the long game, siblings are awesome, but the short game would destroy me.

My LO has three half siblings who are older. It is not the same, but we cultivate the relationship as a high priority. And we do same with family and cousins - to the extent that I am actively planning our move south in 2 years so my kid will grow up with his cousins.

on what planet nobody said how hard it was? maybe you weren't listening. most people most of the time talk about difficulties. i knew about sleepless nights 10 years before i had kids.

Yeah seriously. I spent all of my 20's listening to people bitch about how it was just soooooo hard to be a mother, and you become a cook, driver, blah blah and have like 10 jobs. Now I have a child and yes of course there are hard parts but it is NO WHERE NEAR as difficult as people make it out to be.

That’s because it’s easy to be the mother of one child (given they are not special needs).

I don’t think it’s “easy” to be a mother of any number of children. Everything is relative because people are not the same. I have different strengths and weaknesses than you do, but I’m aware of them and don’t put myself in a position where my weaknesses will dominate my strengths. Self awareness is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't discount the value of financial security. We are planning to retire at 60, and our son will graduate from college with zero debt (if he does it in 4 years!). We have enjoyed (nearly) every moment of raising our son, made wonderful memories as a family and given him a happy childhood and many of the skills he will need to be successful in life. Now we are looking forward to enjoying our senior years in relative comfort and so far in good health. Life is too short to dwell on what might have been; I consider myself to be the luckiest woman in the world because I had the opportunity to be his mom!

you could have easily had at least one more. now you are gonna be bored to death and pestering your DIL for children and visits. very short-sighted.

LOL, because the only reason for women to exist is to raise children and grandchildren.

nope, but it surely sounds more interesting than being retired and doing nothing.

who is doing nothng in retirement? the same mom martyrs who live vicariously through their kids and have no identity other than mom. These are the ones that pester the kid to come visit all the time. Get a life, now.

so what are the interesting things you are doing in retirement? traveling while everyone laughs at you, bothering others with your stories, golfing? retired people are bored and boring.

The retirees I know play musical instruments, paint, travel, tutor kids, coach chess teams, and act as volunteer docents at museums. Some also take jobs that are interesting, but pay a pittance.

[Anonymous]

We have an 18 month old and have zero desire for another kid.

- We both work full-time and value our careers, both from the personal satisfaction we get from them and the financial security having two incomes provides. Neither of us want to quit our jobs. That leaves little time to tend to two young children.

- We work very hard to provide financial security, and would like to retain flexibility. Having one child allows us to go on family vacations that expose all of us to cultures around the world; with 2 kids, we could not afford to do that. Having one child leaves us with the option to send our daughter to private school if we decide that's the right choice, while still saving for college and retirement; we could not do that with 2 kids.

We don't want to be financially stretched and constantly exhausted (even more than we already are!) just to have a second kid. That doesn't seem fair to our current kid, our hypothetical 2nd kid, or to us.

Might our daughter miss having a sibling? Potentially, but we are confident her sibling would come at a significant enough cost, financially and emotionally, that it would outweigh any benefit.

There's also no guarantee a second child would be healthy, or would get along with our current child. We are blessed to have a healthy child. If our second child had significant medical needs, that would place an additional strain our family. It just doesn't make sense for us.