Do you regret having just one kid?
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Anonymous
| Ideally we would like to have two but financial constraints are making it difficult in this area. Those who decided to have just one kid, do you regret not having more? |
Anonymous
| yes, I do. but it's too late now. |
Anonymous
| I regret he doesn't have a sibling, but I don't regret not being suicidal from PPD again. So, half? |
Anonymous
| No. I am a single parent so one is plenty. |
Anonymous
| Nope. Sometimes I wonder what might have been, but I don't regret making the choice that was right for our family, given our circumstances, at the time. There are some real advantages to having only one child, and there are ways to mitigate any downsides. If you do the best you can with what you have, I don't see the value in regret. |
Anonymous
|
I was an only child and was set on having at least 2. My wife and I met pretty late in life and it was a long and expensive struggle to have our son. We tried very, very hard to have another but it didn't work out. On the one hand, I regret that we didn't have another. We both wanted one more very badly and my son sometimes talks about being lonely. On the other hand, I cannot imagine how we would afford one more, so in a (sad) way, I guess we dodged a bullet.
I hope that our son eventually finds close friends who will fill that gap. |
Anonymous
| Yes, but we tried for 3 + years and were diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility and nothing worked. This was after getting pregnant on the first try with #1. I would be open to adoption but DH is not on board with that. I'm an only child and disliked it immensely, both as a child and as an adult. |
Anonymous
| We have an only and I am thrilled about it. However, sometimes I have sad moments or what ifs, and then I remind myself that their are a lot of children in my life that I have been v involved with bc I have the space and room to be. I can have a strong hand in many people who might need it, which also brings a v lively house and strong sense of family and community to our lives, which is really my goal. It could have been reached by having lots of kids myself, or could be reached this way, by having an open door policy. It's different but I feel very full and my wonderful son has a rich community and never comments about a sibling. |
Anonymous
| For possibly the 50th time in the two years I have been on DCUM, NO. I was an only child and always wanted an only child. DH has one brother who has been nothing but a heartbreak and worry to him for his entire life so he was 100% on board when we decided to have one. We have been able to travel extensively with our DD and she has always been able to attend great private schools. We have a wonderful stress free life with our girl. |
Anonymous
|
I regret it, and I actually truly don't want a second kid, and I'm 95% confident it was the best overall decision! I think my first kid would really like a close in age sibling, and now that opportunity is gone.
I say, unless things are really dire, do NOT let finances dictate this decision. I think you'll really regret it. On the other hand, if "finances" are really just the tipping point and you don't really want another -- that's totally fine too. |
Anonymous
+1. I know myself and DH well enough to know that one is what we're equipped to handle. Overextending ourselves (and I'm not speaking financially) would make life miserable for all of us. We can be good parents to one child, but I really doubt that we'd be able to be good parents to more than one and that would be unfair to all involved. |
Anonymous
You're a great example of people who are truly comfortable with the choice. You always wanted just 1 child, and you don't have a positive view of siblings or thing siblings are really important. It seems the financial benefits are just an additional benefit, but the main point is that you never WANTED another. I'm 95% in your camp, with the added factors that I don't think I could be a good mom to 2 due to personal issues, and my relationship is already bad. Finances make it easier to be comfortable with the decision, but that's really more of a silver lining, not the reason to stop at 1. |
Anonymous
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Why does this come every week? You have an (apparently wonderful) child.
Some people can count their blessings, without needing more miracles. |
Anonymous
| Funny, I asked this question years ago and was happy with all the one and done responses.i got. Now here I sit at 41 with a 2month old (and an 8 month old) and yes, it's hard but yes, I'm happy. Also, my husband is over the moon. Consider your spouse in this decision as well. He told me the other day he would have regretted only having one for the rest of his life. And he really wasn't asking for a second! So try to open the lines of communication so you're both happy. |
Anonymous
| **meant 8 year old!!** |