Do you still give when parents request"please no gifts" for a birthday party?

[Anonymous]

I do. I usually interpret requests for no gifts as “no more plastic junk”. I give a $10-15 gift card for an ice cream place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do no gift parties because we have plenty and, as a working mom, feel that tasks like getting a present disproportionately erode women's work weeks. My husband certainly never spends his lunch looking for a present. I just like do do things that help my fellow worn out mom...not having to get a present means a little more free time for the invitees moms!

I'm not offended if you show up with a gift, but I truly mean that it's ok not to bring one.

Also, we host nice parties with lots of kid and adult food (and beverages) and all siblings welcome. It's not, as another poster suggested, an attempt to throw a bad party. We do throw at home parties because I hate driving to a noisy venue way out in some strip mall. We have a big nice house, and make sure there are fun activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this generation. Why do parents supply their kids with so much shit, want to invite a ton of kids to a $500 venue, and then make the awkward no gift plea.

How about you stop buying so much shit for your kids. Have a small simple party with 8 or less close friends, and let those kids get their friend a small gift to all open together.

We have lost basic manners, gift giving, thinking of and enjoyment of others, etc...

In this day of huge parties every week with kids most kids barely know or care about, parents get the present or regift another. No one is personal. No one opens their presents in front of guests anymore. The ettiquette is now on parents to supply a major party and now because of that, we over invite and now say no to 20+ crappy gifts the birthday kid won’t like because no one cares to get them things they like. It’s just another thing we have removed from our kids and taken on ourself.

I hate baby and wedding showers with the long tedious gift opening. I am so glad kids don’t open gifts at parties. There are a few really good reasons for this.
1. We live in an area with a lot of economic diversity. Some kids gave my 3yr old $20 gifts and some gave him $5 gifts or nothing. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel bad.
2. My kid is 3, but I imagine it’s the same for several more years. He is absolutely overwhelmed by many gifts and becomes a greedy monster if he gets inundated with gifts. We followed the custom of his preschool and invited the whole class and the convention of our neighborhood and invited neighbors kids. It took us a month to open gifts by opening 1 eachs 1-2 days. He plays with the gifts this way when he spends a bit of time with each gift. When he opens a bunch at once, he gets really into 1 thing and the rest are forgotten forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this generation. Why do parents supply their kids with so much shit, want to invite a ton of kids to a $500 venue, and then make the awkward no gift plea.

How about you stop buying so much shit for your kids. Have a small simple party with 8 or less close friends, and let those kids get their friend a small gift to all open together.

We have lost basic manners, gift giving, thinking of and enjoyment of others, etc...

In this day of huge parties every week with kids most kids barely know or care about, parents get the present or regift another. No one is personal. No one opens their presents in front of guests anymore. The ettiquette is now on parents to supply a major party and now because of that, we over invite and now say no to 20+ crappy gifts the birthday kid won’t like because no one cares to get them things they like. It’s just another thing we have removed from our kids and taken on ourself.

I hate baby and wedding showers with the long tedious gift opening. I am so glad kids don’t open gifts at parties. There are a few really good reasons for this.
1. We live in an area with a lot of economic diversity. Some kids gave my 3yr old $20 gifts and some gave him $5 gifts or nothing. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel bad.
2. My kid is 3, but I imagine it’s the same for several more years. He is absolutely overwhelmed by many gifts and becomes a greedy monster if he gets inundated with gifts. We followed the custom of his preschool and invited the whole class and the convention of our neighborhood and invited neighbors kids. It took us a month to open gifts by opening 1 eachs 1-2 days. He plays with the gifts this way when he spends a bit of time with each gift. When he opens a bunch at once, he gets really into 1 thing and the rest are forgotten forever.

Oh it's so tedious to have showers with presents. And so hard for kids to open presents when they get something many...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this generation. Why do parents supply their kids with so much shit, want to invite a ton of kids to a $500 venue, and then make the awkward no gift plea.

How about you stop buying so much shit for your kids. Have a small simple party with 8 or less close friends, and let those kids get their friend a small gift to all open together.

We have lost basic manners, gift giving, thinking of and enjoyment of others, etc...

In this day of huge parties every week with kids most kids barely know or care about, parents get the present or regift another. No one is personal. No one opens their presents in front of guests anymore. The ettiquette is now on parents to supply a major party and now because of that, we over invite and now say no to 20+ crappy gifts the birthday kid won’t like because no one cares to get them things they like. It’s just another thing we have removed from our kids and taken on ourself.

We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this generation. Why do parents supply their kids with so much shit, want to invite a ton of kids to a $500 venue, and then make the awkward no gift plea.

How about you stop buying so much shit for your kids. Have a small simple party with 8 or less close friends, and let those kids get their friend a small gift to all open together.

We have lost basic manners, gift giving, thinking of and enjoyment of others, etc...

In this day of huge parties every week with kids most kids barely know or care about, parents get the present or regift another. No one is personal. No one opens their presents in front of guests anymore. The ettiquette is now on parents to supply a major party and now because of that, we over invite and now say no to 20+ crappy gifts the birthday kid won’t like because no one cares to get them things they like. It’s just another thing we have removed from our kids and taken on ourself.

One of the reasons we do “no gift parties” is because my child has several friends where purchasing a gift would be a fincancial hardship for their family. We think it would be nice to spare them any awkwardness or discomfort in showing up empty handed or stretching their money to buy a gift my child doesn’t need. But keep criticizing our manners pp, the view must be nice from that high horse.

[Anonymous]

Wow people are insane.

I have enough to do. When a host asks for no gifts I'm happy to have one less thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this generation. Why do parents supply their kids with so much shit, want to invite a ton of kids to a $500 venue, and then make the awkward no gift plea.

How about you stop buying so much shit for your kids. Have a small simple party with 8 or less close friends, and let those kids get their friend a small gift to all open together.

We have lost basic manners, gift giving, thinking of and enjoyment of others, etc...

In this day of huge parties every week with kids most kids barely know or care about, parents get the present or regift another. No one is personal. No one opens their presents in front of guests anymore. The ettiquette is now on parents to supply a major party and now because of that, we over invite and now say no to 20+ crappy gifts the birthday kid won’t like because no one cares to get them things they like. It’s just another thing we have removed from our kids and taken on ourself.

One of the reasons we do “no gift parties” is because my child has several friends where purchasing a gift would be a fincancial hardship for their family. We think it would be nice to spare them any awkwardness or discomfort in showing up empty handed or stretching their money to buy a gift my child doesn’t need. But keep criticizing our manners pp, the view must be nice from that high horse.

I'm sure those children appreciate your generosity and understanding.

[Anonymous]

I've never been to a party like this but when my nephew was young the request was for only monetary gifts that could be donated to cancer research, juvenile diabetes, etc. He had everything he needed and didn't need or want toys. One year he had his hair cut for his birthday and donated it to Locks of Love. They did this until his 12th birthday when he decided he was too old for parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

You are the one that doesn't give your kid much credit as you seem to think that without gluttonous consumption your kids cannot possibly find joy in celebrating their birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

+1

Parents try so hard to think they are being so great and thoughtful. If you don’t want your kid to have gifts, don’t have a birthday party then. Stop the confusion to your kid, their friends, their parents. Wait until a month after his birthday and just have a party. If your kid is fine with no presents, I am sure he is fine with no singing happy birthday. Because what else is the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow people are insane.

I have enough to do. When a host asks for no gifts I'm happy to have one less thing to do.

You have enough to do? Pity party. Then stop sending your kids to every party they are invited to. Stop inviting 15+ kids to your kids parties. The irony of parents bitching about being too busy. YOU make your schedule busy. You overschedule your kids. You over invite and want countless mom friends and friends for your kids. You want to impress with having Pinterest parties or planned venue packages that indulge every child but your own? Teach all the kids about what is important? Friendship or how cool the party is going to be? If you had a handful of simple birthday parties for only your child’s closest friends each year, you would have much more time to go get a gift for those few events. And it would be meaningful.

The problem is the parents. The fact that you all sit here thinking it is great to ask for no gifts is missing the whole point of why it is just too much to buy presents for parties these days.

[Anonymous]

Wow people are insane.

I have enough to do. When a host asks for no gifts I'm happy to have one less thing to do.


You have enough to do? Pity party. Then stop sending your kids to every party they are invited to. Stop inviting 15+ kids to your kids parties. The irony of parents bitching about being too busy. YOU make your schedule busy. You overschedule your kids. You over invite and want countless mom friends and friends for your kids. You want to impress with having Pinterest parties or planned venue packages that indulge every child but your own? Teach all the kids about what is important? Friendship or how cool the party is going to be? If you had a handful of simple birthday parties for only your child’s closest friends each year, you would have much more time to go get a gift for those few events. And it would be meaningful.

The problem is the parents. The fact that you all sit here thinking it is great to ask for no gifts is missing the whole point of why it is just too much to buy presents for parties these days.

Not PP, but you have serious issues. If my child is invited to a birthday party and wants to go, if the invite says nothing about gifts, we buy a gift. If the invite says no gifts, we don't waste time psychoanalyzing whether the parent really meant. Who has the time and energy for that nonsense? We just don't buy a gift. Other families should have whatever type of parties they want - be it venue parties, at home parties, gift parties, no gift parties - and we will do the type of parties we want to do. If you are having an emotional response to kids' birthday parties, something is wrong.