We are doing something wrong to women in our homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow, IMO, the message that mothers and daughters are inferior to fathers and sons is getting louder and the roots are spreading and deepening. I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes, and then society. If we are serious about erasing gender inequality, we have to stop and take inventory of our behavior at home - and assess how those norms may be inadvertently sending our DH and DC the wrong messages.

A recent report by The World Economic Forum says that "equality is in retreat" for the first time since the group starting tracking the issue in 2006. The report, which examines gender imbalances in economics and the workplace, education, politics and health, found that years of global gains made by women are beginning to erode.

The U.S. slipped four spots to 49th out of 144 countries. It now ranks behind countries including the United Kingdom (15th), Australia (35th) and Bangladesh (47th). Back in 2006, the U.S. was in the 23rd spot. Here's the ranking of the best 10 countries for gender equality:

1. Iceland
2. Norway
3. Finland
4. Rwanda
5. Sweden
6. Nicaragua
7. Slovenia
8. Ireland
9. New Zealand
10. Philippines

http://money.cnn.com/2017/11/02/news/gender-gap-inequality/index.html

This list lacks any sort of credibility. I could go on and on, but for starters abortion is severely restricted or straight out banned in some of these countries.

I guess the author does not support a woman's right to choose what to do with her body which is a basic human right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible that after a generation or two of two-income households, people are placing more importance on having a parent stay home with their kids? And yes, there is a natural and biological proclivity for that stay at home parent to be the woman. You can argue whether that is right or wrong, but the data support that conclusion.

Why is it considered "equality in retreat" if a woman wants to stay home with her kids? My wife was raised by a single professional woman and had a successful professional career herself. And now she is out of the workforce, as a stay at home parent. That hardly puts her in retreat or gender inequality.

Shhhhhh logic that defies the poor women DCUM theory will not be tolerated. Besides most don't understand or care to understand studies make a list and that causes clicks to sell advertising and they wont put an ounce of thought into the data or methodology. As is evident by the claim of a message being sent. The presence of some of the countries on the list and absence of other should make anyone question the methodology or inputs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow, IMO, the message that mothers and daughters are inferior to fathers and sons is getting louder and the roots are spreading and deepening. I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes, and then society. If we are serious about erasing gender inequality, we have to stop and take inventory of our behavior at home - and assess how those norms may be inadvertently sending our DH and DC the wrong messages.

A recent report by The World Economic Forum says that "equality is in retreat" for the first time since the group starting tracking the issue in 2006. The report, which examines gender imbalances in economics and the workplace, education, politics and health, found that years of global gains made by women are beginning to erode.

The U.S. slipped four spots to 49th out of 144 countries. It now ranks behind countries including the United Kingdom (15th), Australia (35th) and Bangladesh (47th). Back in 2006, the U.S. was in the 23rd spot. Here's the ranking of the best 10 countries for gender equality:

1. Iceland
2. Norway
3. Finland
4. Rwanda
5. Sweden
6. Nicaragua
7. Slovenia
8. Ireland
9. New Zealand
10. Philippines

http://money.cnn.com/2017/11/02/news/gender-gap-inequality/index.html

Any message being sent is constant pandering to women and girls. These like most studies say something completely different than the bullet points or assumptions people make.

[Anonymous]

Oprah, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

Immediate PP here. Of course. My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it. I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational. A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

Immediate PP here. Of course. My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it. I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational. A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.

A lot of the 30 yo millennials who think they did so much better than the women ten years older than them don’t have kids yet and haven’t seen what that can do to a marriage. Plenty of the 40-something women now complaining about their husbands thought they had equal marriages ten years ago too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow, IMO, the message that mothers and daughters are inferior to fathers and sons is getting louder and the roots are spreading and deepening. I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes, and then society. If we are serious about erasing gender inequality, we have to stop and take inventory of our behavior at home - and assess how those norms may be inadvertently sending our DH and DC the wrong messages.

A recent report by The World Economic Forum says that "equality is in retreat" for the first time since the group starting tracking the issue in 2006. The report, which examines gender imbalances in economics and the workplace, education, politics and health, found that years of global gains made by women are beginning to erode.

The U.S. slipped four spots to 49th out of 144 countries. It now ranks behind countries including the United Kingdom (15th), Australia (35th) and Bangladesh (47th). Back in 2006, the U.S. was in the 23rd spot. Here's the ranking of the best 10 countries for gender equality:

1. Iceland
2. Norway
3. Finland
4. Rwanda
5. Sweden
6. Nicaragua
7. Slovenia
8. Ireland
9. New Zealand
10. Philippines




http://money.cnn.com/2017/11/02/news/gender-gap-inequality/index.html

The men should do the breastfeeding. It's not fair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

Immediate PP here. Of course. My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it. I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational. A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.

A lot of the 30 yo millennials who think they did so much better than the women ten years older than them don’t have kids yet and haven’t seen what that can do to a marriage. Plenty of the 40-something women now complaining about their husbands thought they had equal marriages ten years ago too.

Well, aren't you snide! Enjoy your lazy husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible that after a generation or two of two-income households, people are placing more importance on having a parent stay home with their kids? And yes, there is a natural and biological proclivity for that stay at home parent to be the woman. You can argue whether that is right or wrong, but the data support that conclusion.

Why is it considered "equality in retreat" if a woman wants to stay home with her kids? My wife was raised by a single professional woman and had a successful professional career herself. And now she is out of the workforce, as a stay at home parent. That hardly puts her in retreat or gender inequality.

I agree with this, although not every women steps out of the workforce by choice. But it is true that many people saw what the rat race was doing to themselves and their families and chose a different way to live that was better for them. The inequity is that no everyone has this option. But when two working professionals make a mutual choice for their family to drop to one income, I think that it is unsound to suggest that this is gender inequity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

Immediate PP here. Of course. My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it. I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational. A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.

I also have a great husband, I'm 40. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not a control freak and am not critical of him and respect how he gets things done his own way. I also work FT and always have, ever since day 1, we have had equal responsibilities for everything in the home and out of it. There is a man at my work who just had his second baby and people are always asking "how are you sleeping"? and he always lets out a little laugh and say "I'm sleeping great, but Mary is isn't!" It is like he is proud of his lack of involvement in the heavy lifting with the kid and he is 35yrs old. As a woman in IT (a rarity) I see this attitude all the time. I do not think it is generational, I think it is a dynamic that starts very early on.

I volunteer 2xs a month at a youth center, mainly tweens and early teens and we put on events that keep kids off the streets at night. Basically put on parties and dances for these kids. When it is time to wrap up it is ALWAYS the girls that seem to instinctually help clean up while the boys have to be asked multiple times to lift a finger. Does not give me warm fuzzies to see this dynamic play out time and time again. It is like we women are indoctrinated from go to be the clean up crew always serving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

Do you have kids yet (plural)? Check back in on your husbands actual contributions to running the household then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes

The linked to article mentions no causes except lack of paid maternity leave.

The WEF lists the declining female participation in the labor force ( it has been declining since 2013 and it now at 2008 levels) and female not going into STEM fields as factors. The are boring because they are tangible, its easier and generates more clicks if you imply nefarious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

Immediate PP here. Of course. My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it. I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational. A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.

A lot of the 30 yo millennials who think they did so much better than the women ten years older than them don’t have kids yet and haven’t seen what that can do to a marriage. Plenty of the 40-something women now complaining about their husbands thought they had equal marriages ten years ago too.

Well, aren't you snide! Enjoy your lazy husband.

Wow, guess I hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands not realizing they are complaining about things no one else cares about. They spend time doing things no else cares about act like martyrs. They just don't realize this insisting other people should be doing stuff only they want done someone's else's nagging wife.


On a serious note, this "lazyhusband" stuff is simply stupid. Has it occured to you you may really do a lot things only you care about then play martyr. Most women complaining are full of crap.

Kids’ doctor appts, dentist appts, clothes that fit, insurance renewed, taxes paid, vacations booked, rats/mice not eating crumbs in the house, camps/school enrolled. Bdays parties attended w a present, bed made, clothes cleaned, cars maintained, winter coats bought, too small clothes/shoes boxed up, etc.
all those stupid details your mom did for you and your misogynistic father, that you like to claim never matter. Keep it up and you will be divorced, or are you already?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible that after a generation or two of two-income households, people are placing more importance on having a parent stay home with their kids? And yes, there is a natural and biological proclivity for that stay at home parent to be the woman. You can argue whether that is right or wrong, but the data support that conclusion.

Why is it considered "equality in retreat" if a woman wants to stay home with her kids? My wife was raised by a single professional woman and had a successful professional career herself. And now she is out of the workforce, as a stay at home parent. That hardly puts her in retreat or gender inequality.

I agree with this, although not every women steps out of the workforce by choice. But it is true that many people saw what the rat race was doing to themselves and their families and chose a different way to live that was better for them. The inequity is that no everyone has this option. But when two working professionals make a mutual choice for their family to drop to one income, I think that it is unsound to suggest that this is gender inequity.

I would never SAHM because my husband would only further check-out of his family duties. All the household stuff I do is already taken for granted by him so why on earth would I ditch my career for that unappreciativeness? Thank goodness we only have daughters and they started seeing right through him when each was 4 yo — when he couldn’t even hold a conversation w them w o looking at his work iPhone or keeping track of anything they said. So sad.