Reply to We are doing something wrong to women in our homes.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband. [/quote]

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM.  I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home.  And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).[/quote]

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.[/quote]

Immediate PP here.  Of course.  My father was a lazy ass growing up, and my poor mother suffered mightily for it.  I never said that these issues don't exist in homes.

What I am saying is that I do believe that much of it is generational.  A lot of the women I know who have husbands like this are around 40 or older, rather than 30.[/quote]

A lot of the 30 yo millennials who think they did so much better than the women ten years older than them don’t have kids yet and haven’t seen what that can do to a marriage. Plenty of the 40-something women now complaining about their husbands thought they had equal marriages ten years ago too.[/quote]

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