We are doing something wrong to women in our homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

Why not blame the dad for raising a lazy boy?

[Anonymous]

OP is a lazy student that just posted an essay question for the woman's studies class and expects us to give her ideas for her paper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible that after a generation or two of two-income households, people are placing more importance on having a parent stay home with their kids? And yes, there is a natural and biological proclivity for that stay at home parent to be the woman. You can argue whether that is right or wrong, but the data support that conclusion.

Why is it considered "equality in retreat" if a woman wants to stay home with her kids? My wife was raised by a single professional woman and had a successful professional career herself. And now she is out of the workforce, as a stay at home parent. That hardly puts her in retreat or gender inequality.

The issue with that is that most men don't make enough to support a SAHM.

I also have yet to see a SAHM/ working man relationship that was equal. The SAHM's DH is let off from doing anything. DH and I both work and my DH does 10x more than the husbands of the SAHMs I know and they're bitter about it. The men think that just because they work, they shouldn't do anything at home, which I think gives children the wrong message.

Gross generalizations based on your own experiences. In my community of friends, there are plenty of single income families and stay home parents. Many of them function well, and yes, some of them not so much. This tangent has nothing to do with the conclusions in the study that the OP presented or in my position that the data supports an entirely different premise, that women leaving the workforce to do something else is not necessarily oppressive. If you want to make this a debate about working moms and horrible husbands, well, that gets a little tiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

Why not blame the dad for raising a lazy boy?

PP here. The dads aren't complaining about lazy males. But yes, of course they share 50% blame!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible that after a generation or two of two-income households, people are placing more importance on having a parent stay home with their kids? And yes, there is a natural and biological proclivity for that stay at home parent to be the woman. You can argue whether that is right or wrong, but the data support that conclusion.

Why is it considered "equality in retreat" if a woman wants to stay home with her kids? My wife was raised by a single professional woman and had a successful professional career herself. And now she is out of the workforce, as a stay at home parent. That hardly puts her in retreat or gender inequality.

The issue with that is that most men don't make enough to support a SAHM.

I also have yet to see a SAHM/ working man relationship that was equal. The SAHM's DH is let off from doing anything. DH and I both work and my DH does 10x more than the husbands of the SAHMs I know and they're bitter about it. The men think that just because they work, they shouldn't do anything at home, which I think gives children the wrong message.

Aw that's sad. I know plenty of one working parent / one parent home with the kids relationship ships that are very equal. Not as in each does exactly 50% of the dishes, 50% of the law care, 50% of the childcare...but as in they're a complete team and each vales the orher's contributions as equally
Important and nexessary. A tit for that relationship isn't healthy.

I do agree with pp's point that we're moderately swinging back towards a place where after several generations of pushing for exact equality!, a lot of families DO want either a stay at home parent or a parent who is able to cut back and be home a lot when the children are young. My husband and I, who both had working mothers, are one of them - we are saving now and waiting until we can afford for me to stay home to have kids, because it's important to us.

All that said, I think a huge issue is the one of (paid, sufficient) maternity leave. The US is SEVERELY lacking in that deparment, no other way to put it. But that has less to do with husband's and sons, I'd say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

+1 This.

I'm 31 and a WOHM. I've never felt that there has ever been any unequal division of labor in our home. And yes, we live in DC, we have two small children, and we both work FT outside the home (so it's not like he telecommutes and is able to throw on laundry and dinner).

That is wonderful for you. I mean that very sincerely.

But can you consider for a second that your personal experience is not shared by everyone?

The research has demonstrated over and over again the differential in how much time women and men spend, on average, on household labor. Further, when researchers have looked at why the differential is less than it used to be, they're finding that it's less about men stepping up to the plate more (they have some, but not by huge amounts), but rather by woman finding other ways to outsource the work (online shopping, cleaning services, etc.). Plenty of people will attribute this continuing differential to women choosing to work less or be SAHMs, but when researchers have looked into those dynamics more closely, they have found that more often than not, it's the greater demands at home pushing women into working (and earning) less than their male counterparts (who aren't stepping up at home to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of), not women taking on more of the household work because they decided they wanted to work less.

So again, I'm happy for you that this has not been your experience. But please do not minimize what research shows is the experience of an awful lot of women in this country just because they don't match your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These numbers explain a lot. The emphasis on sexiness and hotness for women is MUCH more intense than it was when I grew up. It overwhelms all the other talk about the need for a woman to be educated, confident and career focused.
Look at actresses in the UK. There are many, many relatively normal looking women. In the US you must be a sex goddess.

This, and just in the recent decade it has permeated into the MILF and Cougars. Women are now more than EVER expected to be "sex kittens" well into middle age. However, we women do it to ourselves. One only needs to look at Instagram and the culture of female selfie narcissism to see exactly how and why we are moving backwards. We objectify ourselves and then cry boo-hoo when men no longer know how to act around us. So many mixed message.

I think women need to take a hard look in the mirror to find the answers.

[Anonymous]

Huh ?

Women outlive men by 10 years

That's the ULTIMATE inequality . But you don't care about anyone but yourself.

[Anonymous]

^^^ if that stat were reversed , we would never hear the end of it. It would be the focal point of every policy and tv show. Marches and Ribbons and outrage would be non stop.

But men just sit and take it like the Heros they are.

[Anonymous]

I think if you want to work on 'gender imbalance' you need to stop talking about emotional cheating and fru-fru and actually work to be equals in the lives of your partners. Also don't accept crappy men and crappy excuses. This woman was humiliated three times in front of the entire world and yet here we are

https://pagesix.com/2018/01/10/huma-abedin-and-anthony-weiner-call-off-divorce/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow, IMO, the message that mothers and daughters are inferior to fathers and sons is getting louder and the roots are spreading and deepening. I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes, and then society. If we are serious about erasing gender inequality, we have to stop and take inventory of our behavior at home - and assess how those norms may be inadvertently sending our DH and DC the wrong messages.

A recent report by The World Economic Forum says that "equality is in retreat" for the first time since the group starting tracking the issue in 2006. The report, which examines gender imbalances in economics and the workplace, education, politics and health, found that years of global gains made by women are beginning to erode.

The U.S. slipped four spots to 49th out of 144 countries. It now ranks behind countries including the United Kingdom (15th), Australia (35th) and Bangladesh (47th). Back in 2006, the U.S. was in the 23rd spot. Here's the ranking of the best 10 countries for gender equality:

1. Iceland
2. Norway
3. Finland
4. Rwanda
5. Sweden
6. Nicaragua
7. Slovenia
8. Ireland
9. New Zealand
10. Philippines

http://money.cnn.com/2017/11/02/news/gender-gap-inequality/index.html

You have to be kidding. That is not true in anyway what so ever. That article in no way suggests some "message" is being sent. The list you link could have turned out that way for a number of reasons. In many industries in the US incomes have dropped when adjusted for inflation, tech focused being an exception. Women are pursuing higher education in greater numbers than men but in majors with lower earning potential, they tend not to go into tech despite the "message" trying to recruit them in tech focused majors.

Thee list tend to be pretty stupid. Do you honestly think equality is higherin Rwanda, Nicaragua, Slovenai and The Phillipines than the US, Canada, France, Switzeralnd. That is simply absurdandso is your claim about a "message" being sent women are inferrior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe the seeds of this message germinate in our homes

The linked to article mentions no causes except lack of paid maternity leave.

+1. OP, stop using your head.

Did you mean to start using her head?

I believe her point is that she believes the problem starts at home. I agree. Just look at the division of labor in most homes. Not all of them, of course, but in the vast majority of households it is the women who are performing most of the menial labor that is necessary.

Inmost homes it is the woman that works the fewest hours out of the house and and frankly women spend a lot time in the home on stuff only they care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you want to work on 'gender imbalance' you need to stop talking about emotional cheating and fru-fru and actually work to be equals in the lives of your partners. Also don't accept crappy men and crappy excuses. This woman was humiliated three times in front of the entire world and yet here we are

https://pagesix.com/2018/01/10/huma-abedin-and-anthony-weiner-call-off-divorce/

Well her mentor did the exact same thing. It really is absolutely PATHETIC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:huh? I'm a millennial married to a millennial. The men I know and the man I married fully support women's rights. Men do chores, they make half the income, they're great fathers and supportive parents. Our father's generation (boomers) and our grandfather's generation (born in 20s) didn't do any of this. The world is changing!

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands, but raise lazy sons too. They just don't see the disconnect that they're raising someone's future lazy husband.

I do know quite a few women though who complain about their lazy husbands not realizing they are complaining about things no one else cares about. They spend time doing things no else cares about act like martyrs. They just don't realize this insisting other people should be doing stuff only they want done someone's else's nagging wife.


On a serious note, this "lazyhusband" stuff is simply stupid. Has it occured to you you may really do a lot things only you care about then play martyr. Most women complaining are full of crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you want to work on 'gender imbalance' you need to stop talking about emotional cheating and fru-fru and actually work to be equals in the lives of your partners. Also don't accept crappy men and crappy excuses. This woman was humiliated three times in front of the entire world and yet here we are

https://pagesix.com/2018/01/10/huma-abedin-and-anthony-weiner-call-off-divorce/

The only way the personal lives of Weiner and Abedin are relevant to anyone else on the God damned planet is in that they compete for taxicabs in New York City with other New Yorkers. Otherwise their personal lives are totally irrelevant .