Open marriage
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Do not worry. Your DH is already having sex with others. You sound alot like OP and not many men would stay faithful in a marriage like that. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
This, x 100. He will cheat eventually. He is kind of an idiot for bringing up an open marriage, and not doing the cheating thing like most men. Who knew OP would be ok with it. OP, ignore the posters trying to tear you down, saying your vagina isn't good enough. I promise you, with 100% certainty, their husbands desire vagina other than their wives. All men do. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
True 92% get divorced. But HE will not develop an emotional attachment. What normally happens (of course there are outliers) is that men are looking for quantity, so they find a woman and see her 1-2 times a week, minimum. It take's time and energy away from the family. The woman gets an attachment, it gets messy at about the 8-12 month mark and there is a breakup. Then the man has to look again, rinse repeat and he gets sick of the hunt and the breakup and eventually becomes less connected to his family/children. The woman really is not looking for any more sex so she does not look for anything, eventually something comes along and they see each other once a month at the most. Mostly it is somebody that floats in and out of the area so as little as 4 times a year, a perpetual bachelor with commitment issues... perfect. This fulfills her needs of a "companion" with little needs and does not pull her away from her family (really I mean her kids). The man gets annoyed and jealous and things go badly quickly at around year 3... because men who ask for open marriages are never happy in the end, because the problem is not their marriage, the problem is them. |
Anonymous
| Make sure birth control trip is taken care of on his end. If he fathers a child he will be financially responsible for them - for 18-21 years or more if they are late to launch. Are you willing and happy to take that on? |
Anonymous
| I think that "low drive" wives who think that they just don't enjoy sex find out differently when they sleep with other people. Having a few fwb's will probably wake up her drive. |
Anonymous
|
By all means open it up. But make sure it isn't one sided. You need to open it up on your side, too. He's going to outsource, and you should also get some discreetly on the side. You'll LOVE it. |
Anonymous
|
I'm in an open marriage. Have been for 16 years.
The reality is that anyone can leave anyone else at any time. Marriage is no guarantee. Sexual exclusivity is no guarantee. Having children together is no guarantee. Once you get past that fear, you realize that no one can break up a relationship except the two people in it. Sex isn't what keeps us together, at least not exclusively. It's one of many things, like choosing to have a child together, shared goals, finances, interests, laughing together, mutual respect. We are a team. An open marriage has afforded us a lot of fun excitement in the bedroom, both together and separately. We've closed up when I was pregnant for health reasons -- i.e. not worth the risk of STIs to the fetus. He has also stayed monogamous with me during the post-partum period when physically, things have been difficult. That's that mutual respect. Hoping to have my mojo back soon and open things up again. |
Anonymous
| Dan Savage is a pretty big advocate for open marriages and provides some good books and resources for keeping things respectful and reasonable. He talks about it on his podcast Savage Love, and probably has some info on his website. |
Anonymous
OP, do not look at it as a chance for just him to explore. Find a disease-free, drug-free man who turns you on and make him a lover. You can be careful and safe while enjoying yourself. With regard to all posters who have tried to make you awful, they provide nothing. In examining their lives we would see that the level of hostility they have shown here is reflected everywhere and impacts their families in ways as damaging as what they are trying to make you feel gulity about. |
Anonymous
I'm skeptical of that statistic. Have they done a long term study from marriage to end of marriage (including death)? 92% of all marriages that were opened at any point ... and possibly closed back up ... have end in divorceI have a hard time believing that number. I'm betting there are a lot of open marriages that ended in death of one spouse, but it doesn't get reported. Nobody knows. 92% sounds ridiculously high. |
Anonymous
|
My brother and his wife decided to have an open marriage. Then she couldn't find other men to sleep with and my brother had no problem, so she wanted to go back to sexual exclusivity. My brother said no, and they divorced.
I agree with the posters who say he's already having sex with others, so I'm glad you agreed and his lack of fidelity relieves you. |
Anonymous
Hey I'm 52 also and know several. |
Anonymous
Sex has very little do with different physical equipment. Sexual chemistry is different with each partner. |