DH mad I asked him not to

[Anonymous]

My husband gets offended, too.

I actually said years ago "I'm not a blow up doll."

I wouldn't say or do anything else, OP. Let him pout.

[Anonymous]

Well, are you not affectionate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, are you not affectionate?

What does affectionate mean? To me, that means hugging and kissing. He was on her breasts. In my mind, that is sexual. And they are having sex 1 to 2 times a week - while pregnant. If he means hugs and kisses, then there may be something there and he's mixing up what he's upset about. He sounds like a peach. If op wants to have a healthy relationship, then therapy. And no more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, are you not affectionate?

What does affectionate mean? To me, that means hugging and kissing. He was on her breasts. In my mind, that is sexual. And they are having sex 1 to 2 times a week - while pregnant. If he means hugs and kisses, then there may be something there and he's mixing up what he's upset about. He sounds like a peach. If op wants to have a healthy relationship, then therapy. And no more kids.

This is warped. If you don't think he's good enough to have more children with (presuming it's something you would otherwise be interested in), then you aren't going to have a healthy relationship no matter how much therapy you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed that he was pissed. It's your body.

true dat

[Anonymous]

From the moment I started nursing my oldest and until at least 1.5 years after I stopped nursing my youngest, I was very, very, very sensitive to any sexual fondling of my breasts.

I think it's a common theme, I've heard the concept "touched out," I think.

I'm certain it's a combination of hormonal changes to your body and the feeling of your breasts already being utilitarian and taken advantage of...

But also I HATED during that touched out (and low-on-sleep-generally-exhausted) period being touched in a sexual way when not feeling turned on.

Fortunately my husband is very liberal-lefty-respecting-of-women, but even with him it took a couple of conversations about how it makes me feel violated for him to impose physical touch on me when he's the one who is horny...

[Anonymous]

I had n abusive boyfriend once who would do things like this and then throw a tantrum when I asked him to stop. Obviously we didn't have kids but he'd try to "honk" my breasts as a greeting or in public.

It was something about his entitlement to touch my body anytime, anyplace, and when I set boundaries, to tell me I don't love him because I set the boundary.

[Anonymous]

My soon to be XH would do things like this as a power trip over me and would slam doors and yell if I resisted his groping in front of our DD - he was jealous of my love for her and wanted to "make me pay". Could your situation be a power play by your DH? If so you may have a bigger problem...

[Anonymous]

I know everyone is going to freak out, but honestly, he is abusive. You have a toddler, you're pregnant, we know, and a normal man can empathize what that's like. You're exhausted. It was very big of you to apologize and try to communicate....Him talking to you like that, being stone cold, and storming out of the house... my guess would be he's cheating and setting up some weird rejection-while-gaslighting-you game for his advantage. He sounds self-centered and personality disordered. I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know everyone is going to freak out, but honestly, he is abusive. You have a toddler, you're pregnant, we know, and a normal man can empathize what that's like. You're exhausted. It was very big of you to apologize and try to communicate....Him talking to you like that, being stone cold, and storming out of the house... my guess would be he's cheating and setting up some weird rejection-while-gaslighting-you game for his advantage. He sounds self-centered and personality disordered. I'm sorry OP.

I don't know if he has a personality disorder, but I agree with everything else.

[Anonymous]

Did you used to react this way when you were dating, OP?

You used to be softer.

[Anonymous]

Why was your 17 month old sitting in front of the tv while news was on? That's what stuck out to me.

Also, I can't believe this is the first time your husband hasn't respected your body so I'm confused as to why you're having a second child with him. Your husband seems to be an immature ass. You don't initiate Sexy Time with your wife in front of your child.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is being immature, let him pout, don't bring it up again, he'll come around. If this is a regular problem, it'd be good to have a sit down with him when tensions are lower to set some boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is being immature, let him pout, don't bring it up again, he'll come around. If this is a regular problem, it'd be good to have a sit down with him when tensions are lower to set some boundaries.

This was me... I missed your update on page two, and retract my previous comment. If you continue this pattern, he's going to continue, you're going to resent him, and your marriage is going to suffer. When you've got a pattern like that, look into marriage counseling. Even a few sessions can teach a new pattern for when conflicts come up and maybe help get to the route of his issues.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel better I'm pregnant too (and huge hootered because of it). DH tried to cop a feel last night and I almost ripped his arm off and yelled "You've done ENOUGH!"

He got the message.

Look, when you're pawed at all day by a tiny person and you're knocked up and you feel gross and sick and tired and someone randomly grabs your tit, it's gonna get ugly. He gambled and lost and he's being a big baby about it. On the plus side, enjoy having the bed to yourself tonight you lucky duck