Sleepover with gay dads

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DD came home and told me the father of her friend walked into the bathroom while she was brushing her teeth and peed in the toilet, I stopped letting her go to that house. She did continue to do other sleepovers but, only after I conferred with both parents that mom would always be there and that I expected Dad to keep his penis hidden. The fault isn't yours or your husband's. It's the fault of the one guy who wants to be overly familiar with some innocent child. Please don't take it personally.

This guy's behavior is so incredibly inappropriate and wrong that I can't imagine his background and cognitive functioning level!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Yeah, this thread is insane. Sure, it is reasonable to want to know parents fairly well before a sleepover, but to not allow it if the Dad is present is crazy. The Dad is suppose to leave his own house? What is he suppose to do crash at a friend's? Just leave his wife for the night so crazy paranoid people don't worry when there doesn't seem to be any cause for concern other than all straight males must be predators?

It isn't thinking shaping our decisions, it's actions. The actions of males. Perhaps it's just a tiny percentage of males who have flashed, fondled, or raped females we know, but it has happened to so many of us or females we know that we are taking an extra step to protect our DDs. Solve the pervert/predator problem among your own gender and stop hating on women for trying to stay safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to sleepover:
Two gay dads. No problem.
Mom and dad with father employed in job you need some type of background check like teacher, policeman, fed
Two gay moms.


No to sleepover:

Single mom with boyfriend. No way!
Couple with older brother more than two or three years older.
Any extra male relatives in the house like an uncle or cousin

I agree with most of what you said, except the background check part. A background check isn't necessarily going to tell you if someone is a pedophile or not...and in fact, male teachers seem to be the ones you constantly hear about in the news for abusing kids. And I certainly wouldn't rule out a sleepover with a family because the father wasn't employed in a position of public trust. As other PPs have said, I'd just need to know both parents well, and go with my gut feeling about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Good guys (probably like yourself) sometimes have a hard time wrapping their heads around the extent of the depravity visited on girls and women in vulnerable situations like these, so this probably seems extreme to you. But women know what some men are capable of, and we want to protect our kids from it. It's nothing personal against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not comfortable with any dads unless I know them well. Their sexual orientation is irrelevant to my comfort level. It's not very scientific, but it's my gut sense of what the dad is like as a person and hanging out with the family a bunch of times.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Good guys (probably like yourself) sometimes have a hard time wrapping their heads around the extent of the depravity visited on girls and women in vulnerable situations like these, so this probably seems extreme to you. But women know what some men are capable of, and we want to protect our kids from it. It's nothing personal against you.

Well put.

[Anonymous]

A faux sleepover, where the kids come over in PJs, group watches a movie in sleeping bags (other parents get to get dinner), then get picked up, might go over better.

[Anonymous]

If I knew you, I would be fine with it. I would prefer gay dads to a single straight dad. The thought that there would be no dads present is ridiculous. At that point, you are just anti-sleepover, a position I respect, but one that I have not taken.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

[Anonymous]

Nice way to start out my day seeing that single mothers with boyfriends are vilified. Because husbands (cough Jerry Sandusky cough) never abuse kids at a sleepover.

Now my kid who was abandoned by his father also has to be shunned socially. Thanks, DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice way to start out my day seeing that single mothers with boyfriends are vilified. Because husbands (cough Jerry Sandusky cough) never abuse kids at a sleepover.

Now my kid who was abandoned by his father also has to be shunned socially. Thanks, DCUM!

You are omitting the keywords "live in" (boyfriend).

Boyfriends of single moms are one of higher risk groups for molesting children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Yeah, this thread is insane. Sure, it is reasonable to want to know parents fairly well before a sleepover, but to not allow it if the Dad is present is crazy. The Dad is suppose to leave his own house? What is he suppose to do crash at a friend's? Just leave his wife for the night so crazy paranoid people don't worry when there doesn't seem to be any cause for concern other than all straight males must be predators?

It isn't thinking shaping our decisions, it's actions. The actions of males. Perhaps it's just a tiny percentage of males who have flashed, fondled, or raped females we know, but it has happened to so many of us or females we know that we are taking an extra step to protect our DDs. Solve the pervert/predator problem among your own gender and stop hating on women for trying to stay safe.

What about boys? They get fondled/raped too. 1 in 6 vs 1 in 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Yeah, this thread is insane. Sure, it is reasonable to want to know parents fairly well before a sleepover, but to not allow it if the Dad is present is crazy. The Dad is suppose to leave his own house? What is he suppose to do crash at a friend's? Just leave his wife for the night so crazy paranoid people don't worry when there doesn't seem to be any cause for concern other than all straight males must be predators?

It isn't thinking shaping our decisions, it's actions. The actions of males. Perhaps it's just a tiny percentage of males who have flashed, fondled, or raped females we know, but it has happened to so many of us or females we know that we are taking an extra step to protect our DDs. Solve the pervert/predator problem among your own gender and stop hating on women for trying to stay safe.

What about boys? They get fondled/raped too. 1 in 6 vs 1 in 3

I posted earlier as a mom of boys.

A mom has to be in the house (or two) and married to mom dad parents are fine.

No to single dads & gay male couples, big no to houses with live in boyfriends (uncles, adult males, etc).

Brothers do not bother me as we have a house full of brothers.

[Anonymous]

I would have to know you guys and your kids really well to allow a sleepover. Anyone in your household being gay or straight wouldn't make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, and I was molested as a child. Single mom with boyfriend or grandpa or uncle living in the house? No way. I'll reassess when my kids are older and their friends have young teenage brothers. I have boys.