My DH is asking me to break off a friendship because her husband is cheating on her

[Anonymous]

Nothing strikes me odd about a husband wanting a wife to stay out of a situation like this...men aren't geared like women. I could easily see my husband telling me to stay out of a mess like that. He knows I most likely wouldn't listen, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing strikes me odd about a husband wanting a wife to stay out of a situation like this...men aren't geared like women. I could easily see my husband telling me to stay out of a mess like that. He knows I most likely wouldn't listen, though.

Her husband didn't just ask her to stay out of it. He wants her to break off the friendship entirely. That's weird.

I'd understand if he only wanted her to keep quiet.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her in a hot minute.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if your husband is cheating but I think the other guy has diet on him and he's trying to get out ahead of it and cut all connection between you guys and them. No way this guy is going to spill all this info to your husband if he doesn't have some collateral. Too much at stake.

[Anonymous]

I can hardly believe this is true, but I would tell the wronged spouse (male or female) in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing strikes me odd about a husband wanting a wife to stay out of a situation like this...men aren't geared like women. I could easily see my husband telling me to stay out of a mess like that. He knows I most likely wouldn't listen, though.

Her husband didn't just ask her to stay out of it. He wants her to break off the friendship entirely. That's weird.

I'd understand if he only wanted her to keep quiet.

This is not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

I got the idea that your husband asked you to abandon your friend because you said, in your title no less, that your husband wants you to break off the friendship. My hair is brown. My goodness , where did you ever get the idea that I have brown hair?!

I don't get why people say your dh is cheating either, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

I got the idea that your husband asked you to abandon your friend because you said, in your title no less, that your husband wants you to break off the friendship. My hair is brown. My goodness , where did you ever get the idea that I have brown hair?!

I don't get why people say your dh is cheating either, though.

My mistake for using "break off a friendship" instead of "distance myself from a friendship" in the title since it was long enough already but it was right in the body of the post. I said "my goodness" because as I read post after post it just got worse like playing a game of telephone. No where did I say he said to abandon her or kick my best friend when she was down or whatever other "facts" posters were making up as it went along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

The title of your post is "DH asking me to BREAK OFF a friendship." That's where we got that your husband was asking you to abandon a friend.

It seems like you are back pedalling.

In this post, you don't really sound like her friend at all. Now I'm wondering if you're a troll or if your post is an exaggeration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

The title of your post is "DH asking me to BREAK OFF a friendship." That's where we got that your husband was asking you to abandon a friend.

It seems like you are back pedalling.

In this post, you don't really sound like her friend at all. Now I'm wondering if you're a troll or if your post is an exaggeration.

Did you even ready my OP? It said he asked me to distance myself and I stated she was a casual friend who I had lunch with. There is no backpedaling. I already said break off was a poor choice of words but again its all in the post.

I also don't think telling her what is going on then distancing myself to give her the privacy to deal with it is a horrible thing. I'm also pretty sure she is likely going to hate me for being the bearer of bad news. Like I said its not like I am her best friend.

[Anonymous]

read^

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she needs her friends. Why would your husband want you tp pull away from someone who's going to be going through a really hard time? That speaks to HIS character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she needs her friends. Why would your husband want you tp pull away from someone who's going to be going through a really hard time? That speaks to HIS character.

Again - he doesn't.