Ladies - why do you sleep with married men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we meet these men at work and their wives aren't real. We only see them at work where they are unattached. their attachment is more theoretical. It's a slippery slope. We start talking, going to lunch. Attraction develops. He's nice, polite, seductive. Chemistry is intense. You end up in bed.

Sums it up for me. I only dated a married man once, I don't work WITH him in the same office, but we cross paths via work. I was freshly divorced and not really looking for a relationship, plus the sneakiness added a level of excitement that I'd never had before. I was really just looking to feel sexy and fun again and it did the trick. I cut off the affair after about 6 months when I met someone I actually wanted to date and was single. From time to time, the married guy still texts me but I never even write back.

[Anonymous]

I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

Like standing by and watching a cop beat a black kid, i mean it's the cops fault right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

Like standing by and watching a cop beat a black kid, i mean it's the cops fault right.

? I don't get this analogy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

Like standing by and watching a cop beat a black kid, i mean it's the cops fault right.

This has nothing g to do with race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

I'm the OP. In a way, I feel like it's not my problem. I'm single, he's married. It's his life and issue, not mine. But deep down, I know it's wrong of me to do. It's f'd up, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

Like standing by and watching a cop beat a black kid, i mean it's the cops fault right.

? I don't get this analogy.

It's like watching a mom tell her daughter she is a fat slob and not say anything.
It's like watching a customer yell at a waitress and not doing anything.
It's like watching a person yell at the man with tourette's because he won't shut up.
It's like watching a teacher tell a kid he is stupid and worthless and not say anything.
It's like .....

Stop just saying "it's not my fault"... you are an agent in a terrible agreement that hurts other people and families. Own it, I don't care if you F married men but just own that it hurts people and it is most likely because you are a mess and need help. I have sympathy for OP... I have many friends like her ... all of them had terrible childhoods. It sucks! But acting like "I am not doing anything wrong" is ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an affair or been cheated on and have been married for 10+ years. However, I'm not sure why it matters what the marital state of one's hookup partner is. The onus of responsibility rests firmly on the shoulders of the married person not to cheat.

To me, this sounds a lot like trying to shift blame away from the married cheater...

My morals have kept me away from married men. I realize that not everyone has morals and standards.

[Anonymous]

Because I'm bored and my husband isn't good in bed and I like the rush.

[Anonymous]

There is only one married man that I've ever felt a pull towards. We were already emotionally close, but not romantic. We both thought each other attractive from age 18-19 on, but thinking your friend is good looking is not the same as daydreaming what he or she would be like in bed. I vaguely recall a few episodes of mutual drunken inappropriate touching in our late teens and early 20s. But it was more like I'm really drunk and you're in arms reach so I am going to fondle to tease and annoy you, not I want to date you. We were drunken idiots not FWB. We both went through some FUS at the same time and one day, there was a zing we'd never experienced before. We really looked at each other like oh crap. It scared me and I took ridiculous steps to avoid him in situations that might compromise us. It took about two years to fix. I wasn't in love with him. It was more that we wanted the comfort of each other's bodies. When that passes, I felt so blessed to have never acted on it. His marriage is better. I am getting married soon.

[Anonymous]

Because some women just want to watch the world burn.

[Anonymous]

Wow, where do you all live?

[Anonymous]

I just met my AP's wife (and parents) a few weeks ago... feels better to have it all out in the open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't (at least knowingly), but I have two friends that have and this is what they explain.

Friend 1 was in an off/on relationship with her child's father. During one of their offs, he quickly began dating and married someone else. As in the whole thing took less than 90 days. About a month after the wedding, he came by and told my friend that he'd made a terrible mistake, she was his soulmate, but the new wife was pregnant and would take the baby back to her native country if he divorced her. In the past 7 years, he and my friend have been somewhat secretly on and off. My friend says he's her soulmate and they are waiting until her AP & the wife's son turns 18. I think she's stupid, but this relationship has spanned far more years than my first marriage. Maybe it'll work out.

Friend 2 just wanted babies and no real man in the picture. She said she didn't want an anonymous sperm donor. Both her kids' dads are affluent married men happy to write a hush money check in lieu of her filing for CS. It's not enough for her to live a high end lifestyle, but it is more generous than any voluntary CS I've ever heard of a man paying. It is far cheaper than a divorce would be. Perhaps even cheaper than some diamonds to soothe an irate wife like Kobe Bryant had to buy. Anyway, Friend 2 exclusively dates married men. She doesn't meet them online. They aren't sugar daddies. They don't play stepdad to her kids. She meets most through her work (which isn't sex work or anything sleezy or trashy at all). It is, however, a very easy way to meet rich men and get their personal contact info right under the wives' noses. In fact, the last two men she dated were through women introducing her to their DH. My friend says she'll meet and marry someone when her younger child goes off to college.

Someone may have already done this but I don't have time to read all the responses, but, I LMAO when I read that part because my first thought was, well, I am sure you already know where my thoughts traveled.

[MikeL]

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm bored and my husband isn't good in bed and I like the rush.

PM me. I'm in MD and can help you out