I caught her on a date with another guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Maybe it's an age thing. I am 34 and she is 27. Most nowadays don't have the exclusivity talk. It just progress and it's like an unspoken silence that we don't want to see others. I guess I thought that was what was happening here. We see each other 2-3 times week. I have had 14 dates with her in 2.5 months ( yes I kept count!). She has met my family and I have met hers. We have double dated with friends and everything. I was pretty confident we were exclusive. Seeing her with another man tore me up. I guess maybe she doesn't realize we are exclusive, or she doesn't feel the same as I do. I plan to call her tomorrow night.

Sounds like an immaturity thing, on your part. An "unspoken silence" is the exact opposite way to go about things when your heart is involved. You have unfair expectations of her based on your assumption that she can read your mind. 14 dates with her in 2 and a half months is not much!!!!! (do your math...it's not 2-3 times a week!)

You are out of line to have any expectation of exclusivity at that point, unless you've discussed it.

Unless you are woman? LOL

[Anonymous]

So you were hoping she would assume you two were exclusive because of no reason other than you were hanging out? Hope is not a plan.

[Anonymous]

You like her more than she likes you. Classic relationship imbalance. Be mature and call her back but my guess is she isn't really that into you. Don't ask her if she had sex with others since the answer may be yes and it will bother you. If you see her again, I would see other people too so she so you have options.

[Anonymous]

Why hadn't you asked her out on a date for Saturday night? Prime day night and you were hanging out with your buddies?

[Anonymous]

wasn't this posted a few months ago?

[Anonymous]

She's out of your league isn't she? Be honest OP.

[Anonymous]

It would be incredibly charming if you shared with her how seeing her out with someone else let you know how much she means to you and that you want to be exclusive.

It absolutely is a conversation to have. You cannot rely on mind reading here. This forum would have considered her a fool if she posted about becoming exclusive silently. Step up.

You are clearly fond of her, OP. Let her know just how much.

Don't get stuck on this and rob yourself of a great relationship.

[Anonymous]

Have you called her yet? What happened?

[Anonymous]

Troll. No way this was written by a man.

[Anonymous]

Op, here's some advice so you don't send her running:

1) don't tell her you count dates

2) don't tell her you thought you were exclusive and she basically cheated

3) just tell her you've been thinking you want to be exclusive and you know she's been seeing somebody else, a friend saw her out on a date, and you want to know if she wants to be exclusive now with you too.

[Anonymous]

More fragile than the wings of a butterfly is the ego of a man.

[Anonymous]

hurt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, here's some advice so you don't send her running:

1) don't tell her you count dates

2) don't tell her you thought you were exclusive and she basically cheated

3) just tell her you've been thinking you want to be exclusive and you know she's been seeing somebody else, a friend saw her out on a date, and you want to know if she wants to be exclusive now with you too.

1) yes
2) yes
3) No fucking way. Move on.

[Anonymous]

You have to communicate your needs. She's not a mind reader.

[Anonymous]

Sorry dude you got used and abused. It will be hard for you to break up with her...but let's face it she is not really going out with you. She is a player.