I caught her on a date with another guy.

[Anonymous]

I am completely heartbroken. I have been dating this amazing girl since January We met on New Years Eve and have been casually dating. Saturday night I went out to eat with my buddies and saw her with another guy. She was shocked and I was surprised. We aren't exclusive but I thought we were headed in that direction. She called but I haven't picked up because I don't know what to say. I didn't realize she was seeing other guys, as I have stopped seeing other women a week into meeting her. I don't know what to think anymore.

[Anonymous]

Well, give her a call back. Since it was never explicit that you guys were exclusive, maybe she thought you were seeing other people too.

[Anonymous]

Hey, you're the guy. If you wanted to be exclusive, you should have brought it up. It's entirely possible she would rather be dating you exclusively but since you haven't brought it up she feels she should keep going on other dates.

Just talk to her about it. Maybe she will say she wants to be exclusive.

[Anonymous]

No reason to be heartbroken! If you want to be exclusive, you need to talk to her about that.

I don't like dating multiple people at once, but unless a guy has stepped up and committed to me, if another guy I like asks me out, I'm going to say yes. I am not going to turn down another guy for a guy who hasn't asked to be exclusive.

It's been more than two months - she may have been wondering what's up and annoyed you haven't committed to her yet.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Im going to ca her back and be candid about my feelings for her. What worries me is if she is having sex with others. I know I don't have any claim but it upsets me to think of her fucking another guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Im going to ca her back and be candid about my feelings for her. What worries me is if she is having sex with others. I know I don't have any claim but it upsets me to think of her fucking another guy.

Yeah but you have to communicate about that.

Dont be angry or possessive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, you're the guy. If you wanted to be exclusive, you should have brought it up. It's entirely possible she would rather be dating you exclusively but since you haven't brought it up she feels she should keep going on other dates.

Just talk to her about it. Maybe she will say she wants to be exclusive.

Totally this!!! Ladies wait for guys to make it officially exclusive. 3 months and you weren't saying it's exclusive sent messages she should keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Maybe it's an age thing. I am 34 and she is 27. Most nowadays don't have the exclusivity talk. It just progress and it's like an unspoken silence that we don't want to see others. I guess I thought that was what was happening here. We see each other 2-3 times week. I have had 14 dates with her in 2.5 months ( yes I kept count!). She has met my family and I have met hers. We have double dated with friends and everything. I was pretty confident we were exclusive. Seeing her with another man tore me up. I guess maybe she doesn't realize we are exclusive, or she doesn't feel the same as I do. I plan to call her tomorrow night.

[Anonymous]

Op, I would try to have this convo in person. Ask her out for dinner and then try to go back to one of your places so you can talk. Be sweet about it, not angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would try to have this convo in person. Ask her out for dinner and then try to go back to one of your places so you can talk. Be sweet about it, not angry.

I can do that. Do you think she doesn't care about me given that I said. It worries me she doesn't feel the same about me as I do about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Maybe it's an age thing. I am 34 and she is 27. Most nowadays don't have the exclusivity talk. It just progress and it's like an unspoken silence that we don't want to see others. I guess I thought that was what was happening here. We see each other 2-3 times week. I have had 14 dates with her in 2.5 months ( yes I kept count!). She has met my family and I have met hers. We have double dated with friends and everything. I was pretty confident we were exclusive. Seeing her with another man tore me up. I guess maybe she doesn't realize we are exclusive, or she doesn't feel the same as I do. I plan to call her tomorrow night.

Yes, they do. You just didn't, and you paid the price. Own it.

[Anonymous]

Get out now! Be thankful you found out now that she sleeps around. Could have been much worse later

[Anonymous]

How can you be angry if (1) you don't know anything about the circumstances and (2) you never told her you wanted to be exclusive? What if this was a cousin, a friend, a contact from work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you be angry if (1) you don't know anything about the circumstances and (2) you never told her you wanted to be exclusive? What if this was a cousin, a friend, a contact from work?

It was definitely work. She was cuddled up next to him I'm a booth.


She doesn't sleep around. She's not that type of woman and I won let you insinuate that she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Maybe it's an age thing. I am 34 and she is 27. Most nowadays don't have the exclusivity talk. It just progress and it's like an unspoken silence that we don't want to see others. I guess I thought that was what was happening here. We see each other 2-3 times week. I have had 14 dates with her in 2.5 months (yes I kept count!). She has met my family and I have met hers. We have double dated with friends and everything. I was pretty confident we were exclusive. Seeing her with another man tore me up. I guess maybe she doesn't realize we are exclusive, or she doesn't feel the same as I do. I plan to call her tomorrow night.

Yes, they do. You just didn't, and you paid the price. Own it.

Exactly. I was in my 20's and had the exclusivity talk which allows the other person to express their feelings and to potentially get on the same page.

In addition, are you sure they were on a date? Maybe it is a male friend of her's?