When the wife tells you (female friend) to stay away from her husband

[Anonymous]

Open your eyes, OP. He's not into his wife, and probably makes it very clear to her. He goes around telling their private business and complaining about her to other women. That's wrong. For all you know, he goes further and cheats.

She's probably just trying to hold the family together and raise their kids. Why don't you do the decent thing and tell this guy he should put his wife and kids first, before any friendships. And then you back off and go find new friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Open your eyes, OP. He's not into his wife, and probably makes it very clear to her. He goes around telling their private business and complaining about her to other women. That's wrong. For all you know, he goes further and cheats.

She's probably just trying to hold the family together and raise their kids. Why don't you do the decent thing and tell this guy he should put his wife and kids first, before any friendships. And then you back off and go find new friends.

+1 These women can naive if they want to but this man is not on the up and up.

[Anonymous]

Men should not complain about their wives to female "friends." Seriously, op, if your husband did that and the friend made snide comments about her, you'd be ok with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was he having unprotected sex 2 weeks prior to wanting out? Sorry but he's no victim.

If this is anything like my friend's situation, she stopped using birth control and never told the guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was he having unprotected sex 2 weeks prior to wanting out? Sorry but he's no victim.

If she's so religious what's she doing having premarital sex in the first place? Typical religious hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Open your eyes, OP. He's not into his wife, and probably makes it very clear to her. He goes around telling their private business and complaining about her to other women. That's wrong. For all you know, he goes further and cheats.

She's probably just trying to hold the family together and raise their kids. Why don't you do the decent thing and tell this guy he should put his wife and kids first, before any friendships. And then you back off and go find new friends.

+1 These women can naive if they want to but this man is not on the up and up.

+2

Don't contribute to any pain for this woman and her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friendship preceded their relationship and his wife sounds insane. Your friend may need your friendship later. He needs it now but he may really need it later. If he calls, take the call. Fuck that wife texting, cause your relationship is not with her it is with him and you two are not inappropriate. Talking about politics, jobs etc with a friend is not inappropriate.

I say this from the perspective of having a BFF that is a guy who is married and I am not friends with his wife andhe is not friends with my husband, and we talk/text/IM all of the time about all kinds of things, but we have not crossed any inapprop line and I have known him for half of my life so if he said he thought it best we didn't talk because his wife was uncomfortable, I would leave it be but if his wife texted me saying that, I would ignore her because HE is my friend and he is a grown man, not a child. If after he said we needed to part ways for the sake of his marriage he needed me and reached out, I am not going to let this woman I don't know and have no relationship with trump our 20-plus-year friendship. I am taking the call. I have another good friend that is a guy who is married and I have never met his wife and we talk about all kinds of things, too. My husband knows about this man, too. Men and women can and do conduct friendships without them being inappropriate.

I agree. If this were a girlfriend of yours instead of a guy friend, I bet people would be advising you to make sure she knows you'll be there for her regardless of what her husband wants. She sounds like she's trying to isolate him from his friends. That's what abusers do. I wouldn't drop a female friend because her DH said she can't talk to me on the phone, and I can't imagine letting a male friend go for that reason either. It's so weird that a spouse would expect that.

Is she trying to isolate him from ALL friends or just one female friend that he used to date and has inappropriate conversations with?
--DV survivor

[Anonymous]

My husband reminded me that at the airport, we had to take his picture too in case we had paid a stranger to be my husband on the phone. Husband is not friends with my friend but he just told me for the first time that at that airport he pulled my friend aside and suggested he think carefully about his relationship. My friend had told me that his wife didn't like his male friends either, because some were still single and others didn't approve of her. I'm sure that's why he was, back then, sharing so much with me. He'd always had a bunch of friends, both sexes, and now he can only talk to me because I am married and hundreds miles away.

[Anonymous]

I am guessing troll. But if not, you can't control what you can't control.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why people are criticizing OP. I assume it's because they don't have any male friends. But I do and I don't want to sleep with them.

The wife is abusive and crazy. "Trying to hold her family together"??? What on earth does that mean? If someone is going to cheat, you cannot stop them by micromanagement.

I would back off OP....for your own safety and sanity. Just let your friend know you will always be there for him and fade out for now.

[Anonymous]

What a little bitty- you should play the coquette to show your alpha side.

[Anonymous]

His marriage and his family come first. Your friendship is a distant second or third or whatever it is. He can choose to either work it out with his wife and jump through her hoops. Or he can end the marriage and do what he wants to do.

Either way it isn't your call. I think you should let him know that you value your friendship with him and your sorry that you'll miss him. Then let him live his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why people are criticizing OP. I assume it's because they don't have any male friends. But I do and I don't want to sleep with them.

The wife is abusive and crazy. "Trying to hold her family together"??? What on earth does that mean? If someone is going to cheat, you cannot stop them by micromanagement.

I would back off OP....for your own safety and sanity. Just let your friend know you will always be there for him and fade out for now.

+1 if the sexes were reversed, people would be going bat shit over how abusive the friend's spouse is. None of this is op's fault. She needs to step back as requested by her friend, but she is not responsible for his messed up marriage or crazy, controlling wife.

[Anonymous]

Men lie to get pity fuck. It's where near as bad and he'll never leave his family. Go whore up a single guy.

[Anonymous]

My first thoughts were that his wife sounds very controlling and insecure in a way that abusive personalities often are. But I suppose it's hard to now how true his characterization of her is.