Can you find love after your looks have faded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm cracking up at the idea that every woman over 30 has "lost her looks."

DW read something funny the other day...

"I wish I looked as old and fat as I did the first time I thought I looked old and fat."

We can always improve ourselves to a degree, but in general none of us will ever look as good as we do today. DW would kill to go back and look like she did in her early 30's. So would I.

30's are not old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, many of the most ordinary-looking people I know, with the most ordinary bodies, seem to have spouses or boyfriends. A lot of my very pretty friends are single.

So clearly a lot of guys don't care if a woman isn't a 10... or an 8.

+1 You don't need to be "smoking hot" to be loved. I say this as a pretty average looking person married to my also average looking DH.

[Anonymous]

I was smokin' hot in my 30s and met the love of my life. + 15 blissfully married years later, my looks truly are fading and i feel so insecure. I am damn glad i am already married!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. They struggle.

Most 22-year-olds don't look as good as either woman, so let's not set that as the standard. You're really just playing into the OP, going along with the idea that only beautiful, very thin, genetically blessed women have anything to offer men.

Point is, many 30+ women are still smoking hot. The same principle applies to other women.

And that's fine, but the issue for women who might not be objectively "smoking hot" is that they somehow feel as if they can't attract a mate. And that's untrue. Women don't need to be smoking hot. They simply need to be fun, intelligent, interesting people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do 30-something women find love? Once past their prime, they give men little physical incentive to want to get to know them.
Thoughts?

They look for a mature man. And when they find him they make him feel like the only man around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was smokin' hot in my 30s and met the love of my life. + 15 blissfully married years later, my looks truly are fading and i feel so insecure. I am damn glad i am already married!

v
How sad

I wasn't hot in my 30s, but probably above-average pretty and same with my DH. We're together because of our whole personalities, not our looks. It's pointless to get into a relationship primarily based on how someone looks -- we ALL get older, looks always fade.

This song was sung at my sister's wedding and it expresses that idea...

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly to-day,
Were to change by to-morrow and fleet in my arms,
Like fairy gifts fading away,
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will;
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,
That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear.
No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close
As the sunflower turns on her God when it sets
The same look which she turned when it rose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do 30-something women find love? Once past their prime, they give men little physical incentive to want to get to know them.
Thoughts?

You are a fucking idiot. Women in their mid to late 30s and above are simply the sexiest. It is a complete waste of my time to try to explain to you the hundreds of ways these women out class the younger and clueless 20-somethings that you seem to pine for while jerking of in your mom's basement.

And since you can't seem to get your head out of your own ass, leave these fine women for the rest of us to date and marry.

[Anonymous]

Ugly people find love everyday. Get some confidence

[Anonymous]

This is a riot. My 50 year old boyfriend thinks I'm hot. His daughter is 19. No women in their 20s for him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do 30-something women find love? Once past their prime, they give men little physical incentive to want to get to know them.
Thoughts?

Thankfully, most people are not as shallow as you and look past physical beauty and are more interested in the character, e.g., honor, integrity, trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, likability, sense of humor of a potential life partner

You are in for a very sad life if physical beauty is all you care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Women don't need to be smoking hot. They simply need to be fun, intelligent, interesting people.

"Good at sex" doesn't hurt either.

[Anonymous]

OP is probably a troll not asking a real question, but I will try to answer anyway:
- I think women in their 30s are beautiful, they have more confidence independence, maturity, they let their true personality and style shine more instead of following trends or trying to fit in a group of friends
- Mothers do something for me. Good looking playful moms with their young kids in tow. True beauty

Full disclosure: I am a 38 yo French (it may matter) man married to a 36 yo woman.

What I love and find in my wife: simple elegance, natural looks (no heavy make up, bold colors, loud jewelry), I don't notice really grey hair and small wrinkles, as long as someone looks healthy and happy.

But I'll admit that there are a few things I dislike even more from a woman in her 30s than in her 20s (it shows more):
- someone who gave up on her personal appearance, not everyone can be thin (some women actually look better when significantly curvy) but I feel like I see too many mothers taking motherhood or age as an excuse to let themselves go: walking around in tracksuits, dirty hair, lack of elegance, a general air of frumpiness, no efforts to keep a healthy figure.. I know I will get stones thrown at me but seriously past the first 6 months after birth I don't think anyone should use kids as an excuse to look like they just rolled out of bed.
- someone who lacks class: a beautiful 20yo can wear loud makeup and tacky clothes and still convey some sort of class. women in their 30s,40s,50s and above not so much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably a troll not asking a real question, but I will try to answer anyway:
- I think women in their 30s are beautiful, they have more confidence independence, maturity, they let their true personality and style shine more instead of following trends or trying to fit in a group of friends
- Mothers do something for me. Good looking playful moms with their young kids in tow. True beauty

Full disclosure: I am a 38 yo French (it may matter) man married to a 36 yo woman.

What I love and find in my wife: simple elegance, natural looks (no heavy make up, bold colors, loud jewelry), I don't notice really grey hair and small wrinkles, as long as someone looks healthy and happy.

But I'll admit that there are a few things I dislike even more from a woman in her 30s than in her 20s (it shows more):
- someone who gave up on her personal appearance, not everyone can be thin (some women actually look better when significantly curvy) but I feel like I see too many mothers taking motherhood or age as an excuse to let themselves go: walking around in tracksuits, dirty hair, lack of elegance, a general air of frumpiness, no efforts to keep a healthy figure.. I know I will get stones thrown at me but seriously past the first 6 months after birth I don't think anyone should use kids as an excuse to look like they just rolled out of bed.
- someone who lacks class: a beautiful 20yo can wear loud makeup and tacky clothes and still convey some sort of class. women in their 30s,40s,50s and above not so much

Obviously this can cross gender lines but since we're talking about women, I agree. I know a few women who simply never bother to try and look nice. I realize everyone doesn't always look their best but I'm talking women who never bother wearing nice clothes, getting a flattering haircut, wearing even a smidge of makeup, etc. And these aren't harried mothers with little babies and zero time. They just don't seem to care. And some of them are married to pretty well put together professional men, if I do say so. It's as if they feel like they've already won the game so why try anymore.

And yes, this can apply to men as well.

[Anonymous]

This post seems ridiculous to me. I'm in my late 30s and was divorced and got much MORE attention from men ("eligible" "rich" "handsome" "funny" "successful" men - a lot of them tend to be assholes anyway and if you are a bitch to them they are more attracted to you...... ) than when I was single in my 20s. It takes self-care and believing in yourself that you are in your prime NOW and that each year will get better than the last.

[Anonymous]

13:12 - some women just genuinely don't care as much about their looks. I can relate. Most days, I just don't see the point of getting myself all dolled up. I'll put on clothes that fit and aren't too frumpy, but I typically pull my hair up into a ponytail and wear very minimal makeup. I don't really do my nails. I've been like this since college. I only have so much time in the day and I'd rather spend an hour working out and 15 minutes getting ready than an hour getting ready.

I'll put on makeup and blow-dry my hair and dress up a bit if I'm going somewhere nice or have a big meeting at work, but otherwise, why do I need to be fancy? If I'm just going to the grocery store or leaving the gym or watching my kid's soccer game, who cares what I wear?