Can you find love after your looks have faded?

[Anonymous]

I get grumpy when my wife dresses up for other people and not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a cultural difference so you might just as well get used to it, pp. American women are more independent-minded and don't need to dress to please anyone else but themselves.

How does being "independent-minded" relate to not caring how you look? Can't individuals independently choose not to look frumpy? Laziness isn't akin to independence.

+10000, dumb comment. I am an independent-minded woman and I care about not looking frumpy or dirty, it's about self respect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:12 - some women just genuinely don't care as much about their looks. I can relate. Most days, I just don't see the point of getting myself all dolled up. I'll put on clothes that fit and aren't too frumpy, but I typically pull my hair up into a ponytail and wear very minimal makeup. I don't really do my nails. I've been like this since college. I only have so much time in the day and I'd rather spend an hour working out and 15 minutes getting ready than an hour getting ready.

I'll put on makeup and blow-dry my hair and dress up a bit if I'm going somewhere nice or have a big meeting at work, but otherwise, why do I need to be fancy? If I'm just going to the grocery store or leaving the gym or watching my kid's soccer game, who cares what I wear?

I am the 12.26 PP, by elegant and not frumpy I don't mean dolled up. It is more of an attitude: clean white ironed not stained flattering shirt and jeans with a pair of shoes that are not running shoes and clean brushed hair can be enough.. I love my wife in jeans, sandals and a cute shirt.

But something I notice here is that in the US women seem to go for very comfy during the day and very dressed up to "go out", maybe it is just a cultural difference and I am not used to it. In France (city) women tend to stick in the middle: never super comfy except to exercise, and just adding accessories and more make up to transition to evening style

It's a cultural difference so you might just as well get used to it, pp. American women are more independent-minded and don't need to dress to please anyone else but themselves.

12.26 PP again. Not sure how your comment relates to mine? you can be independent minded and dress very comfy during day and very dressed up at night, or you can be independent-minded and have less of a different wardrobe for day/night.. I don't see any link with independent mind. Or actually if you really want to look for a link: dressing up more at night mean you dress up for other people but don't care what you look like when you are on your own...

By the way when I said it may be a cultural difference I didn't say that to belittle the choices of American women but on the contrary to point out that my expectations were probably biased and culturally grounded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember OP, looks fading is a very subjective context.

Jennifer Lopez is turning 46 this month and on a personal level, I think she looks much hotter than she did twenty yrs ago.

Same goes for her nemesis Mariah.

So do not discount the number of birthdays you have celebrated. One can be in their prime even at fifty.

You should see jlo without touch ups or filters.

[Anonymous]

I don't think Mariah looks better than she did when she was younger. I think she looks worse. She's gained weight, which wouldn't be an issue, but she keeps trying to stuff herself into clothes that are too small, too short and too tight. It's not a great look, and it does not make her look younger or sexier, just like she's trying too hard.

J-Lo looks good after she's been in with a hair/makeup team, but my guess is she doesn't look so great in the morning before she's done that stuff.

[Anonymous]

"looks have faded"

Sounds like a Jane Austen phrase about a sad sack spinster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think Mariah looks better than she did when she was younger. I think she looks worse. She's gained weight, which wouldn't be an issue, but she keeps trying to stuff herself into clothes that are too small, too short and too tight. It's not a great look, and it does not make her look younger or sexier, just like she's trying too hard.

J-Lo looks good after she's been in with a hair/makeup team, but my guess is she doesn't look so great in the morning before she's done that stuff.

In general it's completely unfair to point to celebrities as examples of how well some women "hold up." These are people with teams of hair and makeup designers, photographed under flattering lighting and photoshopped to perfection. They could probably even make me look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, many of the most ordinary-looking people I know, with the most ordinary bodies, seem to have spouses or boyfriends. A lot of my very pretty friends are single.

So clearly a lot of guys don't care if a woman isn't a 10... or an 8.

And you know why. Because they are too focused on their looks - you need more than a pretty face to sustain a happy long term relationship. Once the thrill of banging a hot new bod is gone, what else is there? This goes for both men and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember OP, looks fading is a very subjective context.

Jennifer Lopez is turning 46 this month and on a personal level, I think she looks much hotter than she did twenty yrs ago.

Same goes for her nemesis Mariah.

So do not discount the number of birthdays you have celebrated. One can be in their prime even at fifty.

Totally agree with you that they both look better now but remember that most women do have have ready access to stylist and make up artists and globs of money for plastic surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think Mariah looks better than she did when she was younger. I think she looks worse. She's gained weight, which wouldn't be an issue, but she keeps trying to stuff herself into clothes that are too small, too short and too tight. It's not a great look, and it does not make her look younger or sexier, just like she's trying too hard.

J-Lo looks good after she's been in with a hair/makeup team, but my guess is she doesn't look so great in the morning before she's done that stuff.

In general it's completely unfair to point to celebrities as examples of how well some women "hold up." These are people with teams of hair and makeup designers, photographed under flattering lighting and photoshopped to perfection. They could probably even make me look good.

So true. Did not realize how much difference lighting and professional makeup can make until I have to photo shoot for a promotional event at work. I did not ever recognize my self with all the contouring - I have watched hours of youtube videos and still cannot replicate the results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugly people find love everyday. Get some confidence

Take a stroll though Walmart. Exhibit #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think Mariah looks better than she did when she was younger. I think she looks worse. She's gained weight, which wouldn't be an issue, but she keeps trying to stuff herself into clothes that are too small, too short and too tight. It's not a great look, and it does not make her look younger or sexier, just like she's trying too hard.

J-Lo looks good after she's been in with a hair/makeup team, but my guess is she doesn't look so great in the morning before she's done that stuff.

In general it's completely unfair to point to celebrities as examples of how well some women "hold up." These are people with teams of hair and makeup designers, photographed under flattering lighting and photoshopped to perfection. They could probably even make me look good.

Yes.

I was a professional working model for about 5 years and now at 38 still get occasional work. NOTHING is what it seems.

Even "natural" or shoots portraying naked skin is FULL of makeup and filters and perfect lighting and then touch ups.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing OP is looking for a good-looking 30 something yr old man, fairly well off, maybe no kids, and hence the question. Typically, very good looking 30 something yr old men would only want a very good looking younger woman. So, yep, you're outta luck there.

But, if good looks isn't your priority, and you're at least average, decent looking, then you probably have a shot.

I started dating my DH when I was 30; DH was mid 30's. We were both above average looking (IMO), and neither of us had smokin' hot bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do 30-something women find love? Once past their prime, they give men little physical incentive to want to get to know them.
Thoughts?

Don't worry, there are always men who have lost their sight and won't know the difference, anyway.

[Anonymous]

If Mariah and J Lo only look that good because of professional help, then why can't everyone achieve the same effect + thus be famous too??

Everyone says that if they had all the hair and make-up teams at their disposal, the lighting and photoshopping at a whim then they could look just as good.

If that is the case, then why isn't everyone famous? I mean...If that is all it takes.

Mariah and J Lo are obviously much more attractive than the average woman bear since they are up there and we are all down here. Even in real life, some women age really well.

Compare Martha Stewart to Helen Mirren for instance. Same age range, but Martha looks much younger. I am sure Helen has the same access to all the beauty teams that Martha does, yet doesn't look as youthful. It's because Martha just has better genes than Helen does.

Like in the real world.