Every time I really deep clean a part of our house DH responds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but I have stopped trying. My house if falling down around me, but if I am the only one who cares, I quit. I don't have the energy to do it alone. And when I have taken my precious time (I am chief income earner) to take time of work to make it happen, it's undone in a matter of hours or DH fishes stuff out of the donations or trash and puts them back (mostly on the counter or stuffs them in a cupboard).

Good luck to you.

OP here OMFG mine does this too! It drives me bat shit crazy! I throw out broken toys in recyclables and he brings them back in " did you mean to throw this out?"
I de clutter the homework area "you are not keeping those school papers?!?"

Yet he bitches that our house is a mess 24/7. Guess what! I have 4 kids here all day long and he works out of the house. We are here 24/7 and shit gets messed up 24/7

And I am a messy person my nature, this shit is hard for me to keep under control (it's usually out of control)

Anyway vent over thanks for listening!

And yes I am a SAH pp, but thanks for reiterating my job description ..l..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but I have stopped trying. My house if falling down around me, but if I am the only one who cares, I quit. I don't have the energy to do it alone. And when I have taken my precious time (I am chief income earner) to take time of work to make it happen, it's undone in a matter of hours or DH fishes stuff out of the donations or trash and puts them back (mostly on the counter or stuffs them in a cupboard).

Good luck to you.

OP here OMFG mine does this too! It drives me bat shit crazy! I throw out broken toys in recyclables and he brings them back in " did you mean to throw this out?"
I de clutter the homework area "you are not keeping those school papers?!?"

Yet he bitches that our house is a mess 24/7. Guess what! I have 4 kids here all day long and he works out of the house. We are here 24/7 and shit gets messed up 24/7

And I am a messy person my nature, this shit is hard for me to keep under control (it's usually out of control)

Anyway vent over thanks for listening!

And yes I am a SAH pp, but thanks for reiterating my job description ..l..

I am a WOHM but it's apparently part of my job description, too. It's not like the work gets divided evenly when both people WOH. That would be lovely!

My DH cleans the closet but pulling everything out and leaving it outside the closet. Yes, the closet looks nice, but where does all the stuff go now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

You are awesome. Just so you know.

Why thank you...would it ruin the moment if I said its a shame this is not in the explicit forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send him a calendar invite entitled "Keeping It Like This" with a list of what that actually entails.

LOL. I haven't gone as far as the calendar invite but I've told DH unless we have a schedule for ourselves and a schedule for the kids and are prepared to spend some of our time making sure the kids do xyz as part of their schedule before dessert or before iPad or some other fun thing they do daily, it isn't going to happen. So I've asked him to help me make that schedule and commit to making at least one thing part of the routine for the kids and so far it hasn't happened. In full disclosure he does daily chores like dishes. It's keeping all the other rooms of the house clean that has to be a family commitment and me, the one terrible keeping a routine, will have to figure it out of it's going to happen.

Also, I will clarify if the Royal We is being used if really one person is expected to do it. Both when I'm thinking he will do it but I use we and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband would never disrespect me like that. If he saw something needing to be done he'd just do it. The only thing he'd ask is what cleaner I used.

This. It's one the many plus sides to marrying a beta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would send him a calendar invite entitled "Keeping It Like This" with a list of what that actually entails.

LOL. I haven't gone as far as the calendar invite but I've told DH unless we have a schedule for ourselves and a schedule for the kids and are prepared to spend some of our time making sure the kids do xyz as part of their schedule before dessert or before iPad or some other fun thing they do daily, it isn't going to happen. So I've asked him to help me make that schedule and commit to making at least one thing part of the routine for the kids and so far it hasn't happened. In full disclosure he does daily chores like dishes. It's keeping all the other rooms of the house clean that has to be a family commitment and me, the one terrible keeping a routine, will have to figure it out of it's going to happen.

Also, I will clarify if the Royal We is being used if really one person is expected to do it. Both when I'm thinking he will do it but I use we and vice versa.

WTF "it hasn't happened." That's what the calendar invite is for. Go ahead and make the schedule yourself, post it, and cross things off in sparkly pink marker when you do them.

[Anonymous]

I look at my wife's ass and in a French accent say, "Chocolate?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

I don't point out anything. I just think it.

Maybe it's just difference of opinion, but there is "stuff that needs to get done" and "stuff you need to do for yourself." For example, I'll vacuum floors because that falls into the "stuff that needs to get done" category, but I'm not going to wipe her ass for her after she takes a dump. Throwing away garbage you've put on the counter and picking up dishes after you eat lunch by yourself seems to fall in the latter category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I look at my wife's ass and in a French accent say, "Chocolate?"

And she says: "Shut up, John; go mow the lawn."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

I don't point out anything. I just think it.

Maybe it's just difference of opinion, but there is "stuff that needs to get done" and "stuff you need to do for yourself." For example, I'll vacuum floors because that falls into the "stuff that needs to get done" category, but I'm not going to wipe her ass for her after she takes a dump. Throwing away garbage you've put on the counter and picking up dishes after you eat lunch by yourself seems to fall in the latter category.

You do realize that this just serves to reaffirm the asshole assessment...correct ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

I don't point out anything. I just think it.

Maybe it's just difference of opinion, but there is "stuff that needs to get done" and "stuff you need to do for yourself." For example, I'll vacuum floors because that falls into the "stuff that needs to get done" category, but I'm not going to wipe her ass for her after she takes a dump. Throwing away garbage you've put on the counter and picking up dishes after you eat lunch by yourself seems to fall in the latter category.

You do realize that this just serves to reaffirm the asshole assessment...correct ?

You just leave garbage strewn about the house and figure it's someone else's problem? Do you wipe your own ass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It looks really good in here, let's try to keep it like this"

And I want to stab him in the eyeball with a sharp object. That is all!

Had a similar situation last night: "Can we try to clean as we go?" Meanwhile, daily I pick up his towels, socks, shoes, water glasses, etc, etc

Do parents just not teach/expect their sons to clean? Wtf is it with these men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

I don't point out anything. I just think it.

Maybe it's just difference of opinion, but there is "stuff that needs to get done" and "stuff you need to do for yourself." For example, I'll vacuum floors because that falls into the "stuff that needs to get done" category, but I'm not going to wipe her ass for her after she takes a dump. Throwing away garbage you've put on the counter and picking up dishes after you eat lunch by yourself seems to fall in the latter category.

You do realize that this just serves to reaffirm the asshole assessment...correct ?

You just leave garbage strewn about the house and figure it's someone else's problem? Do you wipe your own ass?

Yeah - I think it the whole wipe your own ass analogy that's clinching the deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

You are awesome. Just so you know.

Why thank you...would it ruin the moment if I said its a shame this is not in the explicit forum

And now you sound like the a-hole. My DH may not carry his weight around the house but he isn't trolling around on the DCUM explicit forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH just throws it out there: "This needs to be cleaned", and when I don't rush to the mop, he follows up with:"So when can you do it?". Ugh!

Lmao!