Every time I really deep clean a part of our house DH responds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband would never disrespect me like that. If he saw something needing to be done he'd just do it. The only thing he'd ask is what cleaner I used.

You know, this is totally unhelpful. In sure there are plenty of areas where your dh falls short. Empathy always! Otherwise, it's just, "my husband is better than yours, or even, I'm better than you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH runs over to the nearest clean area and dumps his clothes/ books/ papers there.

This is so funny! Frustrating as heck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife will "deep clean" an area but fail to do basic maintenance in another. Glad the upper corner of the living room is now dust free, but that time would have been better spent cleaning her lunch dishes off the dining room table and moving the food container trash 6 feet from the kitchen counter to the trash can.

I'm a DH and you sound like an asshole. So, in general why not try a positive affirmation vs. pointing out what could have been done. If you notice the shit that's not done - then do it. It all has to get done.

I don't point out anything. I just think it.

Maybe it's just difference of opinion, but there is "stuff that needs to get done" and "stuff you need to do for yourself." For example, I'll vacuum floors because that falls into the "stuff that needs to get done" category, but I'm not going to wipe her ass for her after she takes a dump. Throwing away garbage you've put on the counter and picking up dishes after you eat lunch by yourself seems to fall in the latter category.

You do realize that this just serves to reaffirm the asshole assessment...correct ?

x2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine tells me how nice it looks, and then promptly takes the opportunity to dump clutter there.

Ugh, so much yes.

I finally "assigned" him a jurisdiction - to Swiffer and vacuum all floors - while I do the rest (bathrooms, kitchen, dusting, etc.) and he does it maybe 1/4 of the time. So annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH just throws it out there: "This needs to be cleaned", and when I don't rush to the mop, he follows up with:"So when can you do it?". Ugh!

That's a YOU problem for letting this behavior continue. My DW wouldn't even respond to that type of behavior. All you have to say is "Ugh!"?

No, I posted below. DH was raised to think it's normal men's behavior, and old habits die hard.

It is way past time for him to understand it isn't normal in this day and age. He makes a mess, he cleans it up. His kids make messes, he helps clean this too. It's a brand new world and women are no longer the slaves of men.

[Anonymous]

We have all been inundated by a tide of junk and clutter. Just the contents of the mailbox add up to a big mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH runs over to the nearest clean area and dumps his clothes/ books/ papers there.

This is so funny! Frustrating as heck!

PP It makes me a bit steamy mad, and I have been known to pick it up and dump it into his space.

[Anonymous]

My dh thanks me genuinely, then proceeds to put junk there.

But since it was clean, it's easy to identify it as HIS junk and I say, do you want this or should I toss it? Because it isn't staying HERE. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAH? This part of the job.

Not in my house. I'm not the maid. We all live here; we all pitch in.

[Anonymous]

Some people are just messy. I am and I wish that I weren't... it's a skill that comes naturally to some and is really foreign to others. I know that's probably really hard to remember when all your hard work gets ruined by his carelessness, but if you can hold onto that he's not doing it intentionally, maybe it can be slightly less irritating to you. I urge you to have patience and hopefully he will make small, incremental improvements. Bad habits are hard to break....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would never disrespect me like that. If he saw something needing to be done he'd just do it. The only thing he'd ask is what cleaner I used.

You know, this is totally unhelpful. In sure there are plenty of areas where your dh falls short. Empathy always! Otherwise, it's just, "my husband is better than yours, or even, I'm better than you."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAH? This part of the job.

Not in my house. I'm not the maid. We all live here; we all pitch in.

+1

[Anonymous]

Differing standards of what's clean enough, how much concern is reasonable, and whether a response is instead an emotional manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH runs over to the nearest clean area and dumps his clothes/ books/ papers there.

This is so funny! Frustrating as heck!

PP It makes me a bit steamy mad, and I have been known to pick it up and dump it into his space.

+1. This is one reason why I'm in favor of a designated "man cave" - it serves as a place for me to deposit his belt, shoes, etc. that would otherwise clutter my nice tidy living space.