what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?

[Anonymous]

If a parent isn't their own child's biggest fan, who will be??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a parent isn't their own child's biggest fan, who will be??

I'm my kids' biggest fan, but not delusional one bit about their athletic abilities, which are very little. You can be a fan and not be delusional about their abilities. I will cheer them on, tell them to keep trying, they are doing great, but I know they are not the best athlete...and they know they are not the best athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a parent isn't their own child's biggest fan, who will be??

I'm my kids' biggest fan, but not delusional one bit about their athletic abilities, which are very little. You can be a fan and not be delusional about their abilities. I will cheer them on, tell them to keep trying, they are doing great, but I know they are not the best athlete...and they know they are not the best athlete.

Sure, but I still think my own kid is the best. Don't you know what I mean? My kid's mediocre talents are a hundred times more precious than your kid's "travel team" nonsense. That's just how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were both overachievers and attended ivy leagues. We have very high expectations of our children. I am actually often disappointed that my kids don't stand out. They are very bright and I love them to pieces. I know it probably isn't fair to set the bar so high. DH and I would be disappointed if our kids did not attend an ivy league, specifically HYP. I would not want my kids to know this though. I want them to be happy. I always praise them.

Are you Chinese-American? You sound like my colleague. She was complaining a couple of years ago that her daughter ended up going to Duke. Her son is now entering his senior year of high school and his biggest passion is video games. I'm looking forward to hearing about his college admission.

My husband has a colleague (Indian maybe, maybe Asian) who complains that both his kids are at Cornell. But he's a good dad and loves his kids to pieces - set them up in NY etc. Still funny. My and dh went to second tier state schools, so Cornell is really impressive to us.

There is a state component to at least one of the schools at Cornell, as I recall. Much easier to get into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were both overachievers and attended ivy leagues. We have very high expectations of our children. I am actually often disappointed that my kids don't stand out. They are very bright and I love them to pieces. I know it probably isn't fair to set the bar so high. DH and I would be disappointed if our kids did not attend an ivy league, specifically HYP. I would not want my kids to know this though. I want them to be happy. I always praise them.

Are you Chinese-American? You sound like my colleague. She was complaining a couple of years ago that her daughter ended up going to Duke. Her son is now entering his senior year of high school and his biggest passion is video games. I'm looking forward to hearing about his college admission.

My husband has a colleague (Indian maybe, maybe Asian) who complains that both his kids are at Cornell. But he's a good dad and loves his kids to pieces - set them up in NY etc. Still funny. My and dh went to second tier state schools, so Cornell is really impressive to us.

There is a state component to at least one of the schools at Cornell, as I recall. Much easier to get into.

I don't think that was PP's point...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were both overachievers and attended ivy leagues. We have very high expectations of our children. I am actually often disappointed that my kids don't stand out. They are very bright and I love them to pieces. I know it probably isn't fair to set the bar so high. DH and I would be disappointed if our kids did not attend an ivy league, specifically HYP. I would not want my kids to know this though. I want them to be happy. I always praise them.

Are you Chinese-American? You sound like my colleague. She was complaining a couple of years ago that her daughter ended up going to Duke. Her son is now entering his senior year of high school and his biggest passion is video games. I'm looking forward to hearing about his college admission.

My husband has a colleague (Indian maybe, maybe Asian) who complains that both his kids are at Cornell. But he's a good dad and loves his kids to pieces - set them up in NY etc. Still funny. My and dh went to second tier state schools, so Cornell is really impressive to us.

There is a state component to at least one of the schools at Cornell, as I recall. Much easier to get into.

I don't think that was PP's point...

Some parts of Cornell are impressive. Others, less so.

[Anonymous]

I've run into that. I usually just roll my eyes and move on. Why should I care if some dad or mom thinks their offspring is a genius? I know mine is))))))))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a parent isn't their own child's biggest fan, who will be??

I'm my kids' biggest fan, but not delusional one bit about their athletic abilities, which are very little. You can be a fan and not be delusional about their abilities. I will cheer them on, tell them to keep trying, they are doing great, but I know they are not the best athlete...and they know they are not the best athlete.

Sure, but I still think my own kid is the best. Don't you know what I mean? My kid's mediocre talents are a hundred times more precious than your kid's "travel team" nonsense. That's just how it goes.

Your kid's talent being precious to you is not the same as what OP is stating, meaning the parent thinks their kid *really* is the best. And no, I don't know what you mean... I love my DCs, but I'm not delusional about their abilities or their behavior. They aren't perfect, and I would never put them on a pedastal only to eventually fall very far off of it. No human being is perfect. I see the warts and all in me, my DH and my kids, and I still love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a parent isn't their own child's biggest fan, who will be??

I'm so sure of my kids' superiority that I refrain from bragging or talking about them because I don't want other parents to feel bad. (True story.)

[Anonymous]

It's the Dunning-Kruger effect. It's not just parents. It happens to anyone who isn't knowledgeable or skilled about an area.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand what's wrong with what these parents are doing. They believe in their kids. Who are you to say they are wrong?

[Anonymous]

I live in upper NW and don't feel like I run into this all of the time but when I do I assume that the parent is really insecure.

Apparently this is called the "Dunning-Kruger effect" invented by some guys from Cornell.

[Anonymous]

I have met one parent like this. We had both come with our children to observe another child's violin class, as is tradition before enrolling in that particular music school.

She declared to us all that her young daughter was very talented and very musical, and the teacher, the other parent and I managed to keep a straight face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have met one parent like this. We had both come with our children to observe another child's violin class, as is tradition before enrolling in that particular music school.

She declared to us all that her young daughter was very talented and very musical, and the teacher, the other parent and I managed to keep a straight face.

You sound like a jerk. Maybe the kid is talented and musical. Or maybe the mom said it in front of the kid to build her up if she was nervous to perform in front of strangers.

[Anonymous]

OP, I bet the parents are excited for their kid. Maybe the parents are now in a different environment from where they grew up. All things seem possible. Life is good, or better than they expected it would turn out. Their delusion may be coming from a good but naive place.