My Daughter is Being bullied in KINDERGARTEN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the first three days of school and my daughter is being bullied in Kindergarten. I am in complete shock that this happens in Kindergarten when children are so young and sweet but it is indeed happening. I volunteer at the school and so does my husband. We have witnessed first hand this little girl isolating my daughter and talking mean to her, pushing her out of line, telling her that she "hates her and to go away" and telling all of the other little girls not to play with my daughter. If the other girls stay for one second to talk to her, this little girl physically pulls the other little girls away. My daughter came home from school yesterday and she recounted every single mean detail us through tears.

I have noticed my daughter's personality has changed quickly and so did the teacher who brought it up to me. We talked to the parents and I contacted the teacher but I am not sure what good this is going to do. It is only three days into school and I don't want anymore damage done because three days of this is enough. My formerly happy confident daughter is a sobbing terrified mess the very first week of her educational career. How long do you wait for things to try to work out? Before you consider pulling your daughter out of the same class as the child? Maybe this school isn't even a fit for her and she needs a school that is smaller, where there are more adults keeping an eye on bullying? How do I tell her to handle it while she is at school so she can regain some confidence and control over the situation?

I honestly want advice from other parents whose children were bullied at a young age and what they did to handle the situation. Please kind and constructive comments only.

Thanks!

Why is the teacher allowing this to happen?!?!? That would be my first question. This needs to be stopped now. It's not going to get any better by wait & see approach. Some of you are crazy, psychotic, bitches. It's no wonder we have so many hateful, mean children in the schools. No way I'm going to ignore it if another kid was doing this to my kid at school either. Yeah, call my kid a snowflake if you want (how original ). I'm not the OP, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't have a backbone either. She bailed on her own post because a few people said some things she didn't agree with. How can teach her daughter to stand strong when she clearly doesn't have the skill herself?

Says the bully bitch whose kid is probably no different. I hate people like you.

[Anonymous]

+1 I'm not the OP but I would want this nipped in the bud immediately. While you give it a few days to see how the teacher handles it, a talk with the school counselor is a reasonable next step. Your daughter is already having a horrible start to K and the counselor needs to be involved. If it's still going on after a week I'd talk with the teacher and principal about a classroom change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime a post says that the OP only wants "kind and constructive comments" you know OP is nuts.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm sure your daughter is not the only one excluded. Suggest that she find someone else to play with. Don't make a big deal out of this with her. It is not good--but the teacher cannot make the others include her all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure your daughter is not the only one excluded. Suggest that she find someone else to play with. Don't make a big deal out of this with her. It is not good--but the teacher cannot make the others include her all the time.

Sure she can. Maybe not all the time, but, especially in kindergarten, the teacher can prevent purposeful, bullying exclusion. And she should.

[Anonymous]

My heart goes out to you. My advice is to insist on a change in classroom or some other thing that will allow change. My son was in a similar situation in the third grade. He went from a happy, confident kid to a worried, nervous, unhappy wreck. I didn't do enough. I figured that the teachers and school would help and it would all take care of itself in a couple of weeks.

In our case, the school and teachers did try to help. The bully so sneaky that he did most of the bullying (nothing physical -- just lots and lots of mental and verbal abuse as well as isolating my son) away from view. I ended up pulling my son and putting him in private. It took a full two years for him to regain his confidence.

I would talk to the other girl's parents (I didn't do this because I didn't want to be THAT mom making mountains out of molehills. I still regret this the most). Talk to the teacher. Make an appointment ASAP with the school guidance counsellor and the school principal. Be the squeaky wheel.

Last, talk to your daughter honestly and openly about what is happening. Let her know that you see the behavior, that you understand her feelings, and that the behavior of the other child is unacceptable. Talk to her about what you are doing on her behalf, but be honest about the fact that it may not eliminate the problem. If you can, get some books on why other kids may be bullies.

Good luck! Reading your post made me remember how bad things were for us. On a positive note, my son is in a much better situation at the new school, he's thriving, and may have more empathy for others as a result of what he endured. I still see the after effects, though, even now.

[Anonymous]

^^PP here. I left my son in the situation for the rest of the school year (so probably about 7 months of the bullying). I didn't pull him out mid-year, but I wish I could have done so.

The sooner you can nip this, the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't have a backbone either. She bailed on her own post because a few people said some things she didn't agree with. How can teach her daughter to stand strong when she clearly doesn't have the skill herself?

Says the bully bitch whose kid is probably no different. I hate people like you.

PP here. I think my comment was relevant and accurate. You can't teach your child a skill that you don't posses. You called me a "bully bitch", called my children bullies, and you hate me. Clearly, I'm not the bully here.

[Anonymous]

I have taught K and I am the mom of a daughter who was bullied. OP, the teacher can make things better--but she cannot fix it. Only your daughter can do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't have a backbone either. She bailed on her own post because a few people said some things she didn't agree with. How can teach her daughter to stand strong when she clearly doesn't have the skill herself?

Says the bully bitch whose kid is probably no different. I hate people like you.

PP here. I think my comment was relevant and accurate. You can't teach your child a skill that you don't posses. You called me a "bully bitch", called my children bullies, and you hate me. Clearly, I'm not the bully here.

I'm quite confident that I'm not near as nasty as you are. I'm just disgusted by your comment and many of the others on here. The OP really could use some empathy and compassion and then we have bitches like you (yes, I said it, I called you what you are being) putting her down. Completely unnecessary and completely disgusting. Your post brought out the bitch in me. I hope you have a great day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't have a backbone either. She bailed on her own post because a few people said some things she didn't agree with. How can teach her daughter to stand strong when she clearly doesn't have the skill herself?

Says the bully bitch whose kid is probably no different. I hate people like you.

PP here. I think my comment was relevant and accurate. You can't teach your child a skill that you don't posses. You called me a "bully bitch", called my children bullies, and you hate me. Clearly, I'm not the bully here.

I'm quite confident that I'm not near as nasty as you are. I'm just disgusted by your comment and many of the others on here. The OP really could use some empathy and compassion and then we have bitches like you (yes, I said it, I called you what you are being) putting her down. Completely unnecessary and completely disgusting. Your post brought out the bitch in me. I hope you have a great day

Oh, and I'm sure you do think your comment was accurate and relevant. I also stand behind my comments to you.

[Anonymous]

" the teacher cannot make the others include her all the time."

True but that doesn't mean she can't do anything. OP says that it's a problem where the mean girl is basically blocking the other children from talking to OP's child. Teacher can clearly intervene to stop that and speak directly w/ the mean girl about her behavior. It sure sounds like it's at this point one ring leader rather than a problem of all the kids excluding OP's child intentionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW. OP here. This board did not disappoint from what I have seen in the past. Thanks for the one constructive comment. The rest of you, your children must be gems. SO MUCH HATE. I won't be back here so you any further comments are to the cyber universe. Hope I don't know any of you in real life.

9:50 am-- OP posts.
10:00 am -- OP flounces off.

OP's pace of life is very fast.

Obviously, since it is the 4th day of school today and she has already observed bullying, been approached by the teacher, had a meeting about it, contacted the other child's parents, etc.

Don't forget, volunteered at the school (both her and her husband) in the first three days.

Do you have an older child at the school OP?

If this is your first, then none of this makes any sense whatsoever in a three day span. I really hope you are just trolling. If you are not, then you are at the wrong school. I would not think much of a school that has first time kindergarten parents volunteering and working with the kids on the first three days. They have too much else going on adjusting to their kid being in school to be focused on anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW. OP here. This board did not disappoint from what I have seen in the past. Thanks for the one constructive comment. The rest of you, your children must be gems. SO MUCH HATE. I won't be back here so you any further comments are to the cyber universe. Hope I don't know any of you in real life.

9:50 am-- OP posts.
10:00 am -- OP flounces off.

OP's pace of life is very fast.

Obviously, since it is the 4th day of school today and she has already observed bullying, been approached by the teacher, had a meeting about it, contacted the other child's parents, etc.

Don't forget, volunteered at the school (both her and her husband) in the first three days.

Do you have an older child at the school OP?

If this is your first, then none of this makes any sense whatsoever in a three day span. I really hope you are just trolling. If you are not, then you are at the wrong school. I would not think much of a school that has first time kindergarten parents volunteering and working with the kids on the first three days. They have too much else going on adjusting to their kid being in school to be focused on anything else.