My Daughter is Being bullied in KINDERGARTEN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW. OP here. This board did not disappoint from what I have seen in the past. Thanks for the one constructive comment. The rest of you, your children must be gems. SO MUCH HATE. I won't be back here so you any further comments are to the cyber universe. Hope I don't know any of you in real life.

OP, kindergarteners cannot be bullies. The end.

Interesting because my DD was bullied in Pre-K. Maybe not bullying like you are thinking but still made to feel bad and excluded by one girl who enlisted others to "ignore" my daughter. WHatever you call it - it sucked.

It's not bullying because it doesn't come from malicious planning. Frankly, 4 and 5 yos are simply not mature enough to know how to bully. The behavior may be mean, it may be exclusionary. But the child may not have the social skills to know it's wrong.

Bullying really cannot happen until later in a child's life, when they really do know right from wrong.

At 4 and 5, they're still learning these things.

No. Especially if that child is the younger sibling at home. They can pick up mean traits easily and KNOW when they're being hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Coming into this discussion very late. However, a number of the comments I saw read really irked me. First of all, the comment that teachers can't do anything is ridiculous. Teachers set the tone of the classroom, and they can address bullying by: 1) labeling it, so kids know what it is; 2) making it clear that behavior is unacceptable; 3) bringing in role play, and asking kids to comment on what kind of behavior is okay and what kind is not -- and having kids brainstorm ways to respond; 4) telling all of the kids that it's their job to respond when they see someone being bullied; 5) speaking directly to the bullying child and letting them know the behavior is not acceptable; 6) talking to the parents of the bullying child.

I have seen children as young as 4 years old engage in bullying behavior; their victims are the same age. Children that young need to be taught how to handle these kinds of behaviors, not left on their own. As someone who has stood up to bullies in the professional environment, it's very difficult to take it on even as an adult.

There are a number of reasons why young kids can engage in bullying, including harsh, poor, or inconsistent discipline during the 2's or an abusive home environment. Unfortunately, the effects of bullying can be lasting, so OP was absolutely right to engage right away. Too often, children bear the scars of adults saying,"Wait and see" and failing to respond.

[Anonymous]

I was bullied in K. No question. Ring leader with group of followers teased me. And it was about her establishing social dominance and enjoying her power. I was poor and socially awkward and an easy easy victim. They teased me that my house had cobwebs. They called me the wrong name (taunting me by switching my innocuous name with another innocuous name - of course, being 5, I reacted and objected which encouraged them). The girl made a show in school of inviting every single student in class to her birthday party but me (her parents later brought her over to my house to give me the invitation - I'm sure her behavior horrified her parents and I'm, also sure they didn't know the half of it). On my end,. I wanted nothing more than to be friends with this girl.

It starts young and, yes, teachers could put an end to it if they didn't, like so many on this board, see it as both inevitable and as something the bullied needs to learn how to deal with. I did learn how to deal with it. I learned how to deflect attention from myself (by smiling and not getting upset) and then, much worse, to watch and laugh in relief when the teasing focused on another kid (usually a special needs kid). At least they aren't teasing me. This is what our kids learn when we don't step in - to be passive witnesses to cruelty.