Single Mom considering job offer in DC - would I be miserable?

[Anonymous]

FYI OP, nannies run around $18/hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We do the same. I live in a great neighborhood in N. Arlington and we live in a 2 bedroom building (1 DC). Our commute is about 15 min and he does to pre-K across from my office so we get time together during the commute. Next year we'll walk to kindergarten. His school is on the way to the metro and is only 2 stops from my office. Our dentist is about 3 blocks away and when we can't get to the pediatrician there is a minute clinic about 1/4 mile away. So if you are willing to give up some space you can live in a nice apt building, close to the metro in a nice walking neighborhood were you can easily get to anything you need. Having to drive 15-20 min to the grocery store eats up time in your day. You can do it. You just have to be firm with your new office about your in-office working hours. "I can only come in @ X and I have to leave by X" but I can work from home if needed. As someone mentioned try to see if you telework a day or two a week.

While admittedly I raise one kid on much more than $80K per year, I have a friend who raises 2 on about $70K. They don't have the big luxuries but they are happy.

Good Luck with whatever you choose!

Can you share what neighborhood it is? I am a single mom looking in the same area. Thanks!

Sure, I live in Courthouse off 66. We can walk to Lyon Village Park (10 min) or Rocky Run (15-20 min). Dawson Terrace playground is only 10 min away.
Barnes and Nobel, Whole Foods, Giant, Walgreens (x2), CVS (x3) are all in walking distance. Tons of restaurants in Courthouse and Clarendon. 2 malls and a costco only a 10-15 min drive away.

Apt buildings are great for single parents b/c we have enough to do without have to wait around for repair men or rushing out to pick up packages. All my packages are signed for, I leave a ticket at the front desk if something needs repair. Buildings will have pools, gyms and playgrounds, all cutting down on the time you uneed to spend in the car or walking to these places. We used to have a salon (I miss it).

Our neighborhood schools are Key (great for immersion) and Arlington Science Focus.

[Anonymous]

Any way to talk the boss into telecommuting full time from Idaho? So much work can be done from home and with skype etc.

[Anonymous]

Reply to 15:12 from OP:

I wish I could work from Idaho! The job could certainly be done remotely. I tell you, my friends who make federal salaries in Idaho are living large. State agencies pay far less. My understanding is that when they list the job for a particular location they have to stick with that or re-fly the position. If I decline I will absolutely let them know that I would accept it in a heartbeat if I could work from Idaho, or even from their regional office in Portland with trips to DC as needed.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't leave. I fact, you may have convinced me to move to Boise.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, your life in Boise sounds terrific. I'd stay put if you can. It's going to be A LOT harder out here - COL, commuting, schools, support network - all challenging to get in place to make everything work. And I say that as someone who really loves DC.

[Anonymous]

Lots of people come to visit and never leave!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here.

Thank you all so much - I am glad I asked here, what valuable insights.

More on me: We live in Boise, ID. It is a wonderful, family-oriented environment, and though the state as a whole is uneducated and conservative, I live in a very liberal and educated part of town which makes me very comfortable staying here. It is an unbelievably EASY place to live, kids go to great Montessori preschool 2 blocks away, older daughter was admitted to wonderful K-12 International Baccalaureate charter school, tons of supportive friends, HOH daughter attends language intensive preschool every morning for FREE. We've got a good gig. And I do not feel I have exhausted all job options here.

I've got a PhD and work in natural resources. The job offer is with FERC. Yesterday I talked with potential new boss and gave him the news that I am a single mom and so my decision to accept the offer depends on my figuring out how to make it work financially and logistically. He was very open and friendly, and referred me to a realtor to speak with. After a month or two, I could telework for 2 days per week. The work is very appealing to me, boss sounds great, and I've worked for feds before and understand the amazing security and benefits a permanent position would bring.

I'm trying to find out if my hard-of-hearing daughter might qualify for free preschool services in MD or VA. She is doing great with her hearing aids and tests within normal range for language, and so is not eligible for public preschool here in Idaho (though her wonderful speech therapist gave her the scholarship spot in her private preschool just because she knows she'll benefit from it... things like that happen here!). I learned of an elementary school in Rockville that has a deaf/HOH program for both elementary and preschool. If both kids could attend the same school, perhaps I just get a nanny to send them off to school the 3 days per week I commute, go to work grossly early, and am home for them by 4 or 5 pm. In Rockville it seemed there were some more affordable options for a little house or townhouse. I've put in calls to Childfind and the schools looking for more info and don't get calls back, so that already is a red flag!

Life here in Boise is grand. My 3 br/1ba modest but absolutely lovely home in desirable part of town has a huge, gorgeous backyard (playset for kids, garage, etc) and we can bike anywhere we want to go. And... it costs me $1050 per month in mortgage!(on a 15 year loan!) If we move to DC I'd most certainly rent just to have an easy exit strategy if it's not working well.

So with that additional info, any more insights. I truly thank you for your time and experiences!

If her scores are in the average range then I highly doubt she would qualify for services. In order to qualify for "free preschool" (special needs based preschool program) your child would have to have significant needs in one or more areas (which doesn't sound like your child). I'm assuming your child already has an IFSP/IEP. Child Find is for children who don't yet have an IEP. I would call the department of special education to get more information. I believe they would have you send a copy of the IEP to central office and a meeting would be held there to determine if services were warranted. Or they may do updated testing. Some of the local schools have what is called PEP Pilot and that is an inclusive model for kids with mild needs and typical kids from the community. That meets two days a week for about 2 and 1/2 hours. If your child doesn't qualify for services you may be able to attend as a typical peer. You can call the closest local school hat has the program. Here is a link to the Pilot programs: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/curriculum/pep/locations.shtm You could also look into the Child Development lab - it's a program that helps high school students learn about teaching - but it is taught by a teacher. It is low cost -about 600 for the school year (not summers) and is roughly 4 days a week for 3-4 hours. This attachment is more geared for students but it does list locations: https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/uploadedFiles/schools/watkinsmillhs/departments/childdevelopment/brochure.pdf

Your money will definitely go further in Rockville than DC.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a nice, well-adjusted person who values friendly, open people and closely knit communities. You won't get that here. And your salary is going to put you in survival mode with no wiggle room for error.
DC is a transient, competitive area which you might not find nearly as positive and friendly as your community in Idaho.
People who've lived here long enough having their souls crushed dream of switching places with you.
On a positive note, if you value a community that is diverse and inclusive, you will find that here... Unless you're a Christian and anywhere right of center then you'll be marginalized.

[Anonymous]

Wow...op, sounds like you have a pretty good setup in Boise.

Just so you know you wouldn't afford a house. You'd only afford a two bedroom apartment. And that could easily run you from 2400 to 3500 a month.

I'd stay in Idaho if I were you.

[Anonymous]

You might look for residence along the Marc line. Laurel, for example. Not sure what schools are like but the rent is more affordable.

[Anonymous]

You can't afford a nanny here. As a fed worker you have to bw on the books, which means you are looking at around $20/hr total, minimum. Also there is a lottery for preschool now in the schools near union station. Now that they have expanded the maury elementary boundary you might find rent on an above ground bedroom for $1500 but not sure.

[Anonymous]

op, i have a phd and am from the mid-west also, with no family here. i say, stay there if you like it otherwise! if you have a phd, keep working the "local fed" jobs, state jobs, and university ones too. it'll happen eventually!

feds in areas other than dc/nyc/chicago/la/sanfran have so much better lifestyle than feds in these areas (fed pay is locality adjusted, but not adjusted enough to make much difference if you live in these high-cost cities). if you move here, you just won't believe how much time gets sucked up in commuting and/or how much money gets sucked up from high cost of rent/home values, camps/sitters, and car insurance etc. .

good luck! we'll come visit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't leave. I fact, you may have convinced me to move to Boise.

+1

[Anonymous]

Stay put, OP. What you have sounds idyllic, and a support system is no small thing.