DH - "You didn't even start dinner?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom of three with a stay at home dad, I sympathize with dh. What were your two other children going to eat for dinner? And you? You really did't think about this? Just pop a frozen lasagna in the oven and stop complaining. You had a baby not chemotherapy.

Lol. Where is she supposed to get the frozen lasagna? You must be joking. Are the husband's arms and legs broken that HE can't get dinner ready?

Well he can. But that means there are two hungry fussy kids who now have to wait an hour to eat while dad gets dinner ready and on the table. I would throw something in the oven for dinner before I would do the laundry. I don't really see the point in making the older two kids go hungry and wait to eat just so I can show DH how incredibly busy I am.

+1 as the one at home, I would expect her to think about dinner even if that means calling in take out and having DH pick it up on the way home.

OP was too tired from all the laundry she did to make a phone call. Don't you UNDERSTAND? Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP!
I remember my first day of maternity leave. My husband took the time at work to go to the bookstore, buy The Happiest Baby on the Block, and when he walked in the door, threw the book at me and barked, 'read this.'
Evidently, he was not happy returning to work after our baby messed with his sleep.

You are hormonal, tired, and worn out. Your husband is probably two of three, but can't do anything about it, and uses dinner as the way he can lash out.
Encourage him to help out with dinner (I ordered out A LOT in my early maternity leave days) and tell him weekends are his time to help out even more.
I find most new fathers are capable of a lot more than they think they are.
Good luck, OP.

So are new moms.

New moms on their third child. I'd let this slide for a first time mom and side with her. For the third time around, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom of three with a stay at home dad, I sympathize with dh. What were your two other children going to eat for dinner? And you? You really did't think about this? Just pop a frozen lasagna in the oven and stop complaining. You had a baby not chemotherapy.

Lol. Where is she supposed to get the frozen lasagna? You must be joking. Are the husband's arms and legs broken that HE can't get dinner ready?

Well he can. But that means there are two hungry fussy kids who now have to wait an hour to eat while dad gets dinner ready and on the table. I would throw something in the oven for dinner before I would do the laundry. I don't really see the point in making the older two kids go hungry and wait to eat just so I can show DH how incredibly busy I am.

+1 as the one at home, I would expect her to think about dinner even if that means calling in take out and having DH pick it up on the way home.

OP was too tired from all the laundry she did to make a phone call. Don't you UNDERSTAND? Geez.

Hahahaha, yeah, guess I forgot that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is our situation exactly. Our third is due any day now , and I already know I will hear stuff like this when I am
on my maternity leave "vacation."
I have no advice, just commiseration. I wish I knew who you were so we could vent to each other.

I'm really surprised by this whole thread. I'm not by any means a "natural" with a newborn - it's a tough age for me. But still, with my second, who is much more work than my first, I'm much more able to keep things running while on leave. We've ordered out about once a week, and certainly we're eating a ton of repeat meals because it's easier to make big batches of things, but dinner is pretty close to ready by 6.

My bigger question, though, is how could you possibly tolerate that sort of judgment and lack of comprehension from your spouse and still make it to three kids?

[Anonymous]

Couldn't dinner be something that didn't have to be started ahead of time? Make some soup and sandwiches. Food doesn't have to be sitting on the table when they come through the door.

I would rather get the laundry caught up and have a simple meal than have a pile of dirty clothes and a nice oven cooked meal. No matter how many kids I had.

[Anonymous]

If you have two other children already, then there must have been routines established from the past, and some understanding about chores.

[Anonymous]

When he's sleeping, cut his balls off and shove them up his ass. That should clearly tell him how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom of three with a stay at home dad, I sympathize with dh. What were your two other children going to eat for dinner? And you? You really did't think about this? Just pop a frozen lasagna in the oven and stop complaining. You had a baby not chemotherapy.

Lol. Where is she supposed to get the frozen lasagna? You must be joking. Are the husband's arms and legs broken that HE can't get dinner ready?

Well he can. But that means there are two hungry fussy kids who now have to wait an hour to eat while dad gets dinner ready and on the table. I would throw something in the oven for dinner before I would do the laundry. I don't really see the point in making the older two kids go hungry and wait to eat just so I can show DH how incredibly busy I am.

+1 as the one at home, I would expect her to think about dinner even if that means calling in take out and having DH pick it up on the way home.

OP was too tired from all the laundry she did to make a phone call. Don't you UNDERSTAND? Geez.

But she had time to go online and type about it.

[Anonymous]

You know what doesn't surprise me about this thread? How quickly the martyr b!tches chime in to kick another woman while she's down.

[Anonymous]

People Are so rude. The baby is two weeks old-it's her main priority. Her husband should have called and found out if she needed anything for dinner.Epic asshole...OP give him this task from now on. He should discuss dinner menu ahead of tme and see what needs to be done so everyone is on the same page.

[Anonymous]

"Assholes, assholes everywhere" will be my next book.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I suffered from PPD (although didn't realize it until DS was 3 months) and could barely even take a shower in the morning. We did A LOT of delivery/take out during the first couple of weeks. My advice to you is send DH to the store to stock up on groceries. Buy a ton of frozen meals (I was a huge fan of this frozen lasagna from WF) and then all you have to do is pop it in the oven. Buy bagged salad and then you just have to throw it in a bowl. The first couple of weeks are tough as you try to figure out a schedule and how to handle things. It will get better. But you also need to talk to your husband. Likely he is sleep deprived as well and he may not have meant to say what he said in the way he did. If he's generally a nice, supportive, sweet husband, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're already doing too much. Something similar happened to me as well. I cooked my first real meal after having my kid, got it on the table hot, and my DH responded, "you couldn't get me a drink?"

Holy shit, if he'd said that to me I would have gotten our biggest glass, filled it with liquid, poured it over his head and into his lap and then said, "You couldn't get it yourself?"

[Anonymous]

I'm with you sister. My husband asked me to serve him a roast my first night home 4 days after a C-section. The sewer backed up into our basement the next week as I was doing laundry. He said "you deal with it- you're home doing nothing all day". (I work full-time but had saved vacation days to stay home. The was my first baby and I had to work with the disinfecting people and the insurance co and the drywaller- luckily all had kids and didn't mind my nursing during our conversations. Flash-forward 13 years - we both have divorce lawyers. Moral of the story- fix his mind-set now or he'll take advantage of you. Please demand the respect you deserve.

[Anonymous]

He is very inconsiderate and rude...but you do have two older kids who need to eat and are probably starving when they get home...

So either he or you needs to make sure you have something quick to cook (frozen food) for them...

DH should have said this in a nicer way...