Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Facebook has always been Facebrag. As with Facebook, most brags are lies. On here I'm pretty sure a lot of brag is want not have.

My neighbor brags like no tomorrow on her Facebook page about her house, her income, her marriage, her job.

She can barely pay her house note and her husband isn't on the mortgage because he has bad credit, her income is ZERO right now because she claims she got laid off when in reality she got fired for stealing, her beautiful marriage is her second and she had a child to seal that deal. Her youngest with her first marriage is in their late 20s. Her youngest now is 7.

Yet she will tell you she has the bestest life. LOL, lie. BIG FUCKING LIE.

BTW, it's all fine and good to brag about your Infinity but don't forget to tell everyone you wrecked it 6 months after you bought it and 6 months later you still can't afford to fix the big ass crunch you put on the passenger side. So you take pictures of the driver's side only. Yes, my neighbor does this.

Don't envy anyone. Their lives are usually shitty, nothing you would want no matter what they claim to make or have.

Concentrate on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I, myself, come from a very old money family. Ivy league many generations. Trust funds. I never show off anything, but caused quite a flurry when I bought myself a "new" car. I free cyle everything. New money -- just so tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It is impossible NOT to post about wealth on FB. FB is all about vacations (I travel to exotic destinations frequently). FB is about food (fancy restaurants and meals and dinner parties). FB is about sharing that new handbag you purchased. Or a new car. Or that new stainless steel refrigerator. Even if you make donations or pursue advanced degrees, people know that you need money to do that. People can be envious that they don't have money to do the same.

My point is that most FB posts are about how you live, which is directly associated to your wealth.

Sweetie, people just don't care about that stuff. Sorry, but they don't. And they are probably laughing at you everytime you post. I promise you, no one cares about your new handbag.

Just went back and looked at my page -

Yesterday I posted a picture of my son at his Martial Arts testing.
There is a post about my DH and I working in the backyard.
I scanned and posted my son's school picture for his grandparents.
I posted a news article and tagged my college aged boys. It was relevant to their degrees.
I posted a couple of links to some neat gardening stuff.
We went to church and out to eat and I posted the name of the Indian restaurant because it was so incredibly good!
My daughter's rowing team traveled to a regatta and I posted the results plus a couple of pictures.
I posted a picture of our family sitting around the fire pit roasting marshmallows last week.

Most of these posts were directly for the benefit of grandparents who live far away. I don't have any friends who post about handbags. The only exotic vacation pictures I care about are the ones that have people in them - and that's what my friends post. I have lots of very wealthy friends. None of them use facebook to make sure the world knows they are wealthy.

Nobody cares about these, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, myself, come from a very old money family. Ivy league many generations. Trust funds. I never show off anything, but caused quite a flurry when I bought myself a "new" car. I free cyle everything. New money -- just so tiresome.

I was just about to post the same thing.

So tiresome indeed.

[Anonymous]

Old money doesn't spend much because of guilt and embarrassment from not earning the wealth. They also lack the ability to create wealth from nothing so they are in fear of losing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am what you would consider one of The Poors, since I earn under six figures and rent (and have no plans to own).

It's not that I am jealous of the people better off than I am, so much that I get annoyed when they don't seem to be appreciating what they have.

+1 I'm sure I'm poor by DCUM standards. No, I'm not jealous of all of the people who post on here about having a lot of money (either direct boasting or via humble brads, like "when will I ever feel financially stable, I am *only* worth $2million and *only* make $300 a year!).

But I do get irritated if those people don't seem to appreciate what they have, think they are poor (even though they are clearly not), and/or insult or make fun of people who don't have as much physical wealth as they do. I get downright angry when people flat out seem ignorant for how most of the world lives and demonstrate a lack of empathy and a sense of arrogance about their wealth. I also get irritated when people who have wealth act like they earned it/deserve it without recognizing that there are plenty of people who aren't wealthy who work harder then they do and "deserve" just as much as they do.

And given the frequency with which I encounter the above, I actually sort of appreciate not living in the bubble that many (not all, but many) wealthy people seem to live in. And that includes people who are "new" money. How fast people forget what it is like to struggle or to have misfortune or circumstance get in the way of financial security.

Ultimately, though, I am financially secure, even though I'm probably "poor" by DCUM standards. I have everything I need. If I didn't, if I were really struggling financially, then maybe I would be jealous. But because I'm comfortable in my truly middle class life, I am usually just irritated.

That said, I do often wonder how much those posts are exaggeration. And the number of "$300k HHI and living paycheck to paycheck" posts really just astound me.

[Anonymous]

humble brags, not humble brads

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am jealous of higher incomes. We make in the low 100's combined and both have advanced degrees. It's not a bad salary to live on, but it's really hard to get ahead. We don't own a home, but pay so much in rent that I don't know how we'll ever save up for a down payment (or another car or child care, etc.). I am constantly stressed about money.

There are a couple of things that get me on DCUM. One is when people with high incomes write things about how people like me should just throw in the towel because they'll never be able to make it. It makes me feel like they think my life doesn't have value because I don't make more money. The other is when people with high incomes complain about how they can't make it on some super high salary but they're living so extravagantly. It makes me think that many wealthier people have no idea what it's like to be middle class or poor, but more importantly, that they don't care. It makes me sad about the state of the country.

I like to think that the anonymity is what allows people to be so horrible and that they'd be kinder if we were having a conversation face to face, but sometimes it's hard to give the benefit of the doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is impossible NOT to post about wealth on FB. FB is all about vacations (I travel to exotic destinations frequently). FB is about food (fancy restaurants and meals and dinner parties). FB is about sharing that new handbag you purchased. Or a new car. Or that new stainless steel refrigerator. Even if you make donations or pursue advanced degrees, people know that you need money to do that. People can be envious that they don't have money to do the same.

My point is that most FB posts are about how you live, which is directly associated to your wealth.

Sweetie, people just don't care about that stuff. Sorry, but they don't. And they are probably laughing at you everytime you post. I promise you, no one cares about your new handbag.

Just went back and looked at my page -

Yesterday I posted a picture of my son at his Martial Arts testing.
There is a post about my DH and I working in the backyard.
I scanned and posted my son's school picture for his grandparents.
I posted a news article and tagged my college aged boys. It was relevant to their degrees.
I posted a couple of links to some neat gardening stuff.
We went to church and out to eat and I posted the name of the Indian restaurant because it was so incredibly good!
My daughter's rowing team traveled to a regatta and I posted the results plus a couple of pictures.
I posted a picture of our family sitting around the fire pit roasting marshmallows last week.

Most of these posts were directly for the benefit of grandparents who live far away. I don't have any friends who post about handbags. The only exotic vacation pictures I care about are the ones that have people in them - and that's what my friends post. I have lots of very wealthy friends. None of them use facebook to make sure the world knows they are wealthy.

Nobody cares about these, either.

That's just not true. I love reading exactly this type of stuff on my friends' pages. I'm not "friends" on facebook with people I don't genuinely care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am what you would consider one of The Poors, since I earn under six figures and rent (and have no plans to own).

It's not that I am jealous of the people better off than I am, so much that I get annoyed when they don't seem to be appreciating what they have.

+1 I'm sure I'm poor by DCUM standards. No, I'm not jealous of all of the people who post on here about having a lot of money (either direct boasting or via humble brads, like "when will I ever feel financially stable, I am *only* worth $2million and *only* make $300 a year!).

But I do get irritated if those people don't seem to appreciate what they have, think they are poor (even though they are clearly not), and/or insult or make fun of people who don't have as much physical wealth as they do. I get downright angry when people flat out seem ignorant for how most of the world lives and demonstrate a lack of empathy and a sense of arrogance about their wealth. I also get irritated when people who have wealth act like they earned it/deserve it without recognizing that there are plenty of people who aren't wealthy who work harder then they do and "deserve" just as much as they do.

And given the frequency with which I encounter the above, I actually sort of appreciate not living in the bubble that many (not all, but many) wealthy people seem to live in. And that includes people who are "new" money. How fast people forget what it is like to struggle or to have misfortune or circumstance get in the way of financial security.

Ultimately, though, I am financially secure, even though I'm probably "poor" by DCUM standards. I have everything I need. If I didn't, if I were really struggling financially, then maybe I would be jealous. But because I'm comfortable in my truly middle class life, I am usually just irritated.

That said, I do often wonder how much those posts are exaggeration. And the number of "$300k HHI and living paycheck to paycheck" posts really just astound me.

YES! I agree with all of this, particularly the bolded parts. What bothers me is the sense of entitlement/self-importance and the idea that people who make less money don't work hard or aren't as smart as they are.

[Anonymous]

Most of the people who brag on FB are doing it as a cover.

I know 3 friends who brag about their marriages or their wealth and 1 has a cheating husband (that she knows is cheating) another has been separated from her husband 3 different times, and another doesn't have the wealth that he brags about but has terrible self esteem.

Dh and I have been incredibly lucky in the past couple of years and are "new money" with a strong marriage. I don't see the need to post on here or on FB about our wealth. In fact, this is the second thread in my years on DCUM where I have mentioned our wealth.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm surprised that I have received some criticism and disagreement about my post. Maybe if I had posted in the money part of DCUM I would get different responses.

I am saying that I do NOT want to brag so I don't post on FB. But I do think DCUM may be a better outlet. I think my problem is that since I am new money, I don't have many friends that are in the same financial position. I am not going to ditch my old friends, but I think I need to find more like minded friends that are in the same financial position. Some people say just live your life. I do live a wonderfully blessed life, and once again, I don't want to brag but I want to be able to share my happiness and good fortune with someone.

Some people admit that they lie and know others that lie. I don't see how that is satisfying at all. I don't understand the need to lie in any forum.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't understand why you can't stay friends with your old friends while enjoying your new wealth? We've managed to do it just fine. There is a difference between talking about a trip you just took to Australia and bragging about a trip you just took there. Do you not see there is a difference? It's like you pity your old friends because they don't have as much as you, and now think that you are wealthy, you are somehow above them.

But then again, even before DH and I were wealthy we weren't the type of people to discuss in detail where we ate/what we ate/what we bought etc. I have expensive handbags and I use them around my friends. I don't discuss buying it our how much it cost or where I bought it. If a friend asks what we are doing for our anniversary or what DH got me for my birthday, I might tell them. But I wouldn't do it voluntarily. It's just not the type of person I am.

I'm more exhausted by people like you who seem to want to go on and on about their wealth and all the things they do with it. I don't find it interesting.

[Anonymous]

12:50 here again. Dh and I went to a fundraising event a few months ago that was pretty expensive. I remember talking to someone who kept going on and on about their trip to Europe and where they stayed and how much the room cost and what it came with etc etc. I couldn't wait to get out of the conversation. You know whose story I was more interested in? My friend who makes about 60K a year and just ran a marathon.

[Anonymous]

I have to disagree. New money tiresome? If everyone had this mentality then even old money would never have comne to exist - they wouldn't have got off their butts in the first place. LOL I read sites like http://www.moneymakingmothers.com and tons of FB pages on making money and I'm doing very well because of it. I'm not rich, but a lot better off than I used to be, and intend to keep going in the same direction!