Envious when people post about their wealth and success on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for rich people who can relate to your new lifestyle move to Chevy Chase or McLean or a similar neighborhood. Send your kids to private school, join a club, go to charity galas, buy a second home on Nantucket/Martha's vineyard and voila you will be surrounded by rich people that you can make friends with. Be careful what you wish for. You may feel compelled to keep up with the jones' and you may not feel as rich as you did when you had more money than your previous friends.
If you want new rich friends to compare vacation locations there are plenty of places to meet them.

we are likely to do a couple of these things in the near future. but that is not the point of this thread. Thanks for the thoughtful response.

a few responses simply don't merit my attention. i find that dcum posts are mostly good, but there are always some mean ones that add no value. I wish there was a way to remove these people from all message boards.

Oh, dear you keep going!
P

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

3.) People like attacking me (successful people). When I post EXAMPLES (some real, some hypothetical), people are quick to attack them.
......
So what have you concluded from this thread and from DCUM in general (regarding wealth, envy, and FB)?

This is getting better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am saying that a common talking point for many people is travel. Other topics include food, sports, children, etc. Does it make a big difference if you talk about these things in person, on the phone, by email, by blog, or through FB? If I email about travel, I don't think that makes me any different than other people who communicate about other subjects through other ways. This is just another example of how people enjoy attacking some of my points for no particular reason.

The real point is when I talk about subjects that hint at wealth, it seems to me that some people are envious. I fear I may lose their friendship. To this, someone pointed out that it's all my fault because I lack oral or written communication skills. I am not saying that everyone is envious, but I definitely think some people are. I also feel uncomfortable talking about these subjects, and some snarky replyers disagree and claim that I boast.

My spouse says that I am too quiet. I need to boast more to gain people's respect. I need to share my successful habits with others rather than just keep quiet.

You gotta be Indian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So the personal attacks are continuing. I get it. I sound like a snob that feels superior to most people. This is very off putting. I will admit I am guilty as charged. I will no longer try to defend myself. But do keep in mind that I only say these things in this thread. In real life, I am a quiet, well liked person. I could be your co-worker or your neighbor. I have learned to keep my thoughts of superiority to myself. I love people, but I willingly admit that there are so many people that turn me off with their poor life decisions (bad decisions concerning love, marriage, divorce, children, career, school, etc. etc.) I feel that if people made the decisions I did, they would be in a happier place too.

I am also a Republican that believes that people should rely on themselves rather than the government.

Finally, I still feel like I would have received a little more support from the money and finance crowd. The relationship board people are probably a sad, depressed group of people with relationship problems. In my opinion, some of you envy me and most people don't care either way. Some will respond by saying that you pity me because I'm so boring or off putting or pick your negative adjective. You are entitled to your opinion.

In a future post, I will bring up another similar subject but write in the most politically correct way. I will try to get positive instead of negative feedback.

Why don't you start by actually posting in the Money and Finances forum (?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an old money family, and no one ever discussed our wealth with people outside the family. My relatives do not wear expensive clothes, or drive fancy cars, or conduct themselves in an extravagant manner. Almost all of my siblings and cousins work professionally (some full-time/some part-time), and almost all have advanced degrees. In my family, money was spent on education, travel, and philanthropy (usually anonymous gifts). There is also a second home which the extended family uses as a retreat, so money is spent on the upkeep of that. But, in general, the family ethos is that investments are grown more than they are spent, and the money is handed down to the next generation and given to charity.

You would never know I come from wealth, or the extent of it. My kids attended public school, had cashier and restaurant jobs in high school, college and in summers, and we live in a modest area. My kids are grounded and centered in their values. That is the greatest "capital" that is passed from generation to generation in any family.

Posting on FB about wealth is bizaare to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is (I think unintentionally) hilarious.

Seriously! And getting funnier with every additional post from OP.

My charitable side thinks she's probably significantly measurable on the Asperger's scale. My less charitable side simply thinks she's an ass.

But it is entertaining!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an old money family, and no one ever discussed our wealth with people outside the family. My relatives do not wear expensive clothes, or drive fancy cars, or conduct themselves in an extravagant manner. Almost all of my siblings and cousins work professionally (some full-time/some part-time), and almost all have advanced degrees. In my family, money was spent on education, travel, and philanthropy (usually anonymous gifts). There is also a second home which the extended family uses as a retreat, so money is spent on the upkeep of that. But, in general, the family ethos is that investments are grown more than they are spent, and the money is handed down to the next generation and given to charity.

You would never know I come from wealth, or the extent of it. My kids attended public school, had cashier and restaurant jobs in high school, college and in summers, and we live in a modest area. My kids are grounded and centered in their values. That is the greatest "capital" that is passed from generation to generation in any family.

Posting on FB about wealth is bizaare to me.

OP again. I'm glad I can entertain a few people. My life is amazing but I admit it lacks humor.
Many readers have commented on how wonderful the above post is. Well I could have written this too. The only difference is that I am new money. So the charity part is quite minimal but it will DEFINITELY be a big part of my future. SOME of my distant relatives are quite wealthy and they live like this too. My kids could post something like this 20 years from now.

So if I write like this, I could be loved. But instead, I wrote something else that has triggered a lot of animosity. This has been an interesting social experiment for me and hopefully for you too.

We could poke holes at the above post if we wanted to. Has this person earned any money? Is the person a lazy PhD doing little for society? This person travels a lot yet only I am being attacked for traveling. You get the idea???

Finally, out of curiousity, why makes you believe I am Indian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an old money family, and no one ever discussed our wealth with people outside the family. My relatives do not wear expensive clothes, or drive fancy cars, or conduct themselves in an extravagant manner. Almost all of my siblings and cousins work professionally (some full-time/some part-time), and almost all have advanced degrees. In my family, money was spent on education, travel, and philanthropy (usually anonymous gifts). There is also a second home which the extended family uses as a retreat, so money is spent on the upkeep of that. But, in general, the family ethos is that investments are grown more than they are spent, and the money is handed down to the next generation and given to charity.

You would never know I come from wealth, or the extent of it. My kids attended public school, had cashier and restaurant jobs in high school, college and in summers, and we live in a modest area. My kids are grounded and centered in their values. That is the greatest "capital" that is passed from generation to generation in any family.

Posting on FB about wealth is bizaare to me.

OP again. I'm glad I can entertain a few people. My life is amazing but I admit it lacks humor.
Many readers have commented on how wonderful the above post is. Well I could have written this too. The only difference is that I am new money. So the charity part is quite minimal but it will DEFINITELY be a big part of my future. SOME of my distant relatives are quite wealthy and they live like this too. My kids could post something like this 20 years from now.

So if I write like this, I could be loved. But instead, I wrote something else that has triggered a lot of animosity. This has been an interesting social experiment for me and hopefully for you too.

We could poke holes at the above post if we wanted to. Has this person earned any money? Is the person a lazy PhD doing little for society? This person travels a lot yet only I am being attacked for traveling. You get the idea???

Finally, out of curiousity, why makes you believe I am Indian?

And once again, the point blows totally over your head. Too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an old money family, and no one ever discussed our wealth with people outside the family. My relatives do not wear expensive clothes, or drive fancy cars, or conduct themselves in an extravagant manner. Almost all of my siblings and cousins work professionally (some full-time/some part-time), and almost all have advanced degrees. In my family, money was spent on education, travel, and philanthropy (usually anonymous gifts). There is also a second home which the extended family uses as a retreat, so money is spent on the upkeep of that. But, in general, the family ethos is that investments are grown more than they are spent, and the money is handed down to the next generation and given to charity.

You would never know I come from wealth, or the extent of it. My kids attended public school, had cashier and restaurant jobs in high school, college and in summers, and we live in a modest area. My kids are grounded and centered in their values. That is the greatest "capital" that is passed from generation to generation in any family.

Posting on FB about wealth is bizaare to me.

OP again. I'm glad I can entertain a few people. My life is amazing but I admit it lacks humor.
Many readers have commented on how wonderful the above post is. Well I could have written this too. The only difference is that I am new money. So the charity part is quite minimal but it will DEFINITELY be a big part of my future. SOME of my distant relatives are quite wealthy and they live like this too. My kids could post something like this 20 years from now.

So if I write like this, I could be loved. But instead, I wrote something else that has triggered a lot of animosity. This has been an interesting social experiment for me and hopefully for you too.

We could poke holes at the above post if we wanted to. Has this person earned any money? Is the person a lazy PhD doing little for society? This person travels a lot yet only I am being attacked for traveling. You get the idea???

Finally, out of curiousity, why makes you believe I am Indian?

you were not attacked for traveling but for assuming that everyone who doesn't care about your travel photo albums is envious. though one does have to wonder where do you find all that free time to travel (trips do not appear to be business related). what happened to your career? btw, PP above is not something to emulate in terms of relating to others. she, too, sucks, just not as much as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
you were not attacked for traveling but for assuming that everyone who doesn't care about your travel photo albums is envious. though one does have to wonder where do you find all that free time to travel (trips do not appear to be business related). what happened to your career? btw, PP above is not something to emulate in terms of relating to others. she, too, sucks, just not as much as you.

OP here. Once again, the travel comment was an example and should not be anaylzed alone. When you travel a lot, I understand that it gets very boring for other people. If it's your 5th trip of the year, some people will ignore you. But if it is a family member that is traveling for the first and only time, they will get lots and lots of attention and feedback from the people that ignored you even if you visited the same destination. I understand this and it makes sense. What more is there to say to the well traveled person?

I prefer not to discuss the specifics of my life because I want to remain anonymous. I could make white lies but I find that unproductive.

Do you not see that your response makes you seem like a jealous person? You dislike both me and the PP now??? By all accounts, we (or at least PP) are people you want your kids to marry. Excuse me for boasting but let me list some positives:
1. Wealthy 2. Generous 3. Happy 4. Honest 5. Faithful 6. Great with children and seniors 7. Humble (except on this thread) 8. Intelligent 9. Healthy 10. Attractive
Someone else said that you can't talk about wealth or boast in real life. So why not on DCUM?

To keep it real, I'll admit to two areas of my life that need improvement. I would enjoy a more active sex life. And I wish I was taller.

[Anonymous]

LOL still cracking up here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
you were not attacked for traveling but for assuming that everyone who doesn't care about your travel photo albums is envious. though one does have to wonder where do you find all that free time to travel (trips do not appear to be business related). what happened to your career? btw, PP above is not something to emulate in terms of relating to others. she, too, sucks, just not as much as you.

OP here. Once again, the travel comment was an example and should not be anaylzed alone. When you travel a lot, I understand that it gets very boring for other people. If it's your 5th trip of the year, some people will ignore you. But if it is a family member that is traveling for the first and only time, they will get lots and lots of attention and feedback from the people that ignored you even if you visited the same destination. I understand this and it makes sense. What more is there to say to the well traveled person?

I prefer not to discuss the specifics of my life because I want to remain anonymous. I could make white lies but I find that unproductive.

Do you not see that your response makes you seem like a jealous person? You dislike both me and the PP now??? By all accounts, we (or at least PP) are people you want your kids to marry. Excuse me for boasting but let me list some positives:
1. Wealthy 2. Generous 3. Happy 4. Honest 5. Faithful 6. Great with children and seniors 7. Humble (except on this thread) 8. Intelligent 9. Healthy 10. Attractive
Someone else said that you can't talk about wealth or boast in real life. So why not on DCUM?

To keep it real, I'll admit to two areas of my life that need improvement. I would enjoy a more active sex life. And I wish I was taller.

Boy, you are so empty, it's fascinating. Btw, I don't want my kid to marry a housewife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
you were not attacked for traveling but for assuming that everyone who doesn't care about your travel photo albums is envious. though one does have to wonder where do you find all that free time to travel (trips do not appear to be business related). what happened to your career? btw, PP above is not something to emulate in terms of relating to others. she, too, sucks, just not as much as you.

OP here. Once again, the travel comment was an example and should not be anaylzed alone. When you travel a lot, I understand that it gets very boring for other people. If it's your 5th trip of the year, some people will ignore you. But if it is a family member that is traveling for the first and only time, they will get lots and lots of attention and feedback from the people that ignored you even if you visited the same destination. I understand this and it makes sense. What more is there to say to the well traveled person?

I prefer not to discuss the specifics of my life because I want to remain anonymous. I could make white lies but I find that unproductive.

Do you not see that your response makes you seem like a jealous person? You dislike both me and the PP now??? By all accounts, we (or at least PP) are people you want your kids to marry. Excuse me for boasting but let me list some positives:
1. Wealthy 2. Generous 3. Happy 4. Honest 5. Faithful 6. Great with children and seniors 7. Humble (except on this thread) 8. Intelligent 9. Healthy 10. Attractive
Someone else said that you can't talk about wealth or boast in real life. So why not on DCUM?

To keep it real, I'll admit to two areas of my life that need improvement. I would enjoy a more active sex life. And I wish I was taller.

funny you don't say my kids would like to marry someone like you, but that i would like them to marry someone like you. even you, at some level, understand that you have zero appeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an old money family, and no one ever discussed our wealth with people outside the family. My relatives do not wear expensive clothes, or drive fancy cars, or conduct themselves in an extravagant manner. Almost all of my siblings and cousins work professionally (some full-time/some part-time), and almost all have advanced degrees. In my family, money was spent on education, travel, and philanthropy (usually anonymous gifts). There is also a second home which the extended family uses as a retreat, so money is spent on the upkeep of that. But, in general, the family ethos is that investments are grown more than they are spent, and the money is handed down to the next generation and given to charity.

You would never know I come from wealth, or the extent of it. My kids attended public school, had cashier and restaurant jobs in high school, college and in summers, and we live in a modest area. My kids are grounded and centered in their values. That is the greatest "capital" that is passed from generation to generation in any family.

Posting on FB about wealth is bizaare to me.

OP again. I'm glad I can entertain a few people. My life is amazing but I admit it lacks humor.
Many readers have commented on how wonderful the above post is. Well I could have written this too. The only difference is that I am new money. So the charity part is quite minimal but it will DEFINITELY be a big part of my future. SOME of my distant relatives are quite wealthy and they live like this too. My kids could post something like this 20 years from now.

So if I write like this, I could be loved. But instead, I wrote something else that has triggered a lot of animosity. This has been an interesting social experiment for me and hopefully for you too.

We could poke holes at the above post if we wanted to. Has this person earned any money? Is the person a lazy PhD doing little for society? This person travels a lot yet only I am being attacked for traveling. You get the idea???

Finally, out of curiousity, why makes you believe I am Indian?

"Lazy PhD doing nothing for society"? Interesting choice of what to focus your speculations on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people need to spend some time defining what "success" looks like. Some of the wealthiest people I know are the least "successful". You are not successful if you make a ton of money but have a failed marriage. You are not successful if you spend 10 hours every day at work then come home and throw supper at your kids so that you can work some more after they go to bed. You are not successful if you are frazzled, exhausted, and sick.

Success to our family means constantly reevaluating our values and priorities and then living our lives in harmony with those things we deem "First Things".

For us, success meant leaving D.C. for a simpler life. I'm not suggesting everyone needs to do that. I'm simply saying that to be successful means that you are living your life in a way that creates genuine happiness.

And you are not successful if you came from money, went to great schools, but now sit on our ass all day and manage your money. Also not successful because you are skinny and botoxed and married up. I see a lot of both in this town.