Husband leaves doors unlocked

[Anonymous]

OP, DH is the same. Not attentive in ANY way. His whole family is like that. Extremely frustrating to live with. I was actually thrill when his beloved gadgets were stolen because (you guessed it) he left his car unlocked. I have very low tolerance for lazy or inattentive. Break ins happen all the time in our neighborhood. Its not as if he should be oblivious. We just have to take it upon ourselves. We set the alarm and have an extremely watchful dog, too. Too bad for DH if he has to remember the code that we change to keep safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not sloppiness, why do you keep calling it that?

It's a choice. He thinks a break-in is very unlikely. I agree with him. I tend to lock doors but don't care if someone forgets. Woman here.

This

more often than not, if someone wants to break in a locked door isn't going to stop them.

- signed a women whose locked door didn't stop a break-in

[Anonymous]

Get a door that locks whenever it closes.

Get a lock that opens with a numerical code.

Your door will always be locked, you will never be locked out.

The most important time to pay attention to home security is when the PEOPLE are at home.

[Anonymous]

Male here. My brother is like this. Just part of his absent-mindedness. But also I think part of being the youngest sibling and not worried and as protective as older siblings are. It just doesn't cross his mind. On one hand I envy his ability to go through life without worry, but it used to bug me. Especially as someone who double, triple checks that the locks are engaged as part of my nightly routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here. My brother is like this. Just part of his absent-mindedness. But also I think part of being the youngest sibling and not worried and as protective as older siblings are. It just doesn't cross his mind. On one hand I envy his ability to go through life without worry, but it used to bug me. Especially as someone who double, triple checks that the locks are engaged as part of my nightly routine.

hahah

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks again for the advice. I will get the locks that lock automatically, that will solve the front door and door to the garage. In the back we have a sliding glass door, we latch it and have a rod there. Not an easy one to auto lock. I think that I will also put a pad for the security system upstairs so that I can set it easily. I admit that we do not always set it because we don't want to get up. I have the combo lock on the garage door, mostly for the kids and that works fine.
Our dog NEVER barks, maybe if I could hear the tail wagging, that would tell me about an intruder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks again for the advice. I will get the locks that lock automatically, that will solve the front door and door to the garage. In the back we have a sliding glass door, we latch it and have a rod there. Not an easy one to auto lock. I think that I will also put a pad for the security system upstairs so that I can set it easily. I admit that we do not always set it because we don't want to get up. I have the combo lock on the garage door, mostly for the kids and that works fine.
Our dog NEVER barks, maybe if I could hear the tail wagging, that would tell me about an intruder.

Maybe get a second dog, one that barks. That might encourage the first one to bark, too.

[Anonymous]

OP we have a fabulous keypad lock that locks itself about 45 seconds after being opened, always. The extra bonus is you don't need to take keys just to walk the dog or go out in the neighborhood. My DH ordered it online and installed it himself. It's worth spending the $100 or whatever to avoid having this argument every night of your life and feeling like your DH doesn't care about your safety. That shit can eat away at a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not sloppiness, why do you keep calling it that?

It's a choice. He thinks a break-in is very unlikely. I agree with him. I tend to lock doors but don't care if someone forgets. Woman here.

This

more often than not, if someone wants to break in a locked door isn't going to stop them.

- signed a women whose locked door didn't stop a break-in

That may be true for the situations when someone wants to break into a particular door. But any cop will tell you that most thieves are thieves of opportunity. They will go after the low hanging fruit, and that's what an unlocked door is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate OP. My dh is the same way. He never locks the door. He leaves early in the morning for work and before we had a garage he would leave the front door unlocked. Now with the garage, he often forgets to close the entire garage door as he leaves. I wake in the morning , shower, get kids ready, etc. and won't even know that the garage is wide open until I'm leaving to take the kids to school. In our old house the master bedroom was above the garage and I would listen for it to close as he left and would go down and close it if he forgot. We've moved and now it's impossible for me to know without just getting up when he leaves and checking.

He forgets most nights when he gets home too, so I always check before going to bed. I lock all the doors, turn on the porch lights, etc. every night. I tried for many, many years to get him to change but it hasn't worked. Better luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Cheese Lady sez:

Drastic actions by DH's call for drastic measures. I say: one weekend morning, leave the front door swinging wide open, and hide something obvious and beloved by DH (XBox? laptop? whatever) in the garage. Have him shuffle in, and slowly ask, "Say, who left the door open?" Suggest that a breaking and entering happened. Ask if anything's missing. Have him pitch a fit after noticing game console gone with wires loose. Tell him he must have left the front door unlocked. Watch and carefully gauge reaction level before confessing truth. Tell him he should be happy it was you, because next time it won't be.

One of two results will occur:

1) He will get the hint, and to prevent you from pulling another stunt like that, will start to lock door.
2) He will get really angry at you for your prank, and now you have a husband who not only will leave the door unlocked, but hates you.

Only *you* know how your husband will react.

It's hard to train husbands, it takes years, don't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not sloppiness, why do you keep calling it that?

It's a choice. He thinks a break-in is very unlikely. I agree with him. I tend to lock doors but don't care if someone forgets. Woman here.

+1

[Anonymous]

NP here. The problem is DH's blatant disregard for OP's concerns. My DH is like this, too. I would love a viable answer.

[Anonymous]

Leave a big note for him somewhere that he'll see saying "check for locked doors."

[Anonymous]

Is he young and hot? If not, time for an intelligent replacement.