Husband leaves doors unlocked

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm in the same boat. I think it boils down to me having been instilled the "lock the doors" rule at home. I grew up in an urban, relatively unsafe environment. OTOH, DH grew up in the suburbs, and he's never been robbed.

There's not much I can do. We live in a 'safer' neighborhood and I check the door after he gets home to make sure it's locked. 50% of times, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:about 40% of the time when I check at night, one of the doors is unlocked. I feel really discouraged now as it is an offputting sloppy habit. It is as if he does not care about the safety of his family.
Kids are getting to the age where I can start showing them how to lock up. I have a plan to upgrade the security system.
I can't explain it, but this habit really turns me off, like he is saying, "here world, come take my family, attack my kids, it's OK". I don't get a sense of any paternal instinct.

Your reaction seems a bit dramatic OP.

+1000

The chances of having an actual home invasion/rape/kidnapping are really, really small.

Paranoia and fear-mongering is deeply unattractive. Poor DH.

Funny, half the people I know have had either their car or home broken into.

+1 Seriously, what are the PPs smoking? Break-ins happen all the time, they're not like alien invasions.
Lock the door behind you, it's not that hard. How do ppl like this manage to wipe their own asses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not sloppiness, why do you keep calling it that?

It's a choice. He thinks a break-in is very unlikely. I agree with him. I tend to lock doors but don't care if someone forgets. Woman here.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

Wow. You make an awful lot of generalizations from a couple sentences written by multiple posters who presumably come from many walks of life. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to stereotype.

Signed,
A liberal with ADT who has worked in gun control, has been raped, had house burglarized, and insists absent-minded DH lock doors. Had positive world-view until watching the debacle that is Congress in recent days/weeks/years.

[Anonymous]

DH also doesn't lock doors. Not so much worried about a break-in, but feel like he's not protecting his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

Wow. You make an awful lot of generalizations from a couple sentences written by multiple posters who presumably come from many walks of life. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to stereotype.

Signed,
A liberal with ADT who has worked in gun control, has been raped, had house burglarized, and insists absent-minded DH lock doors. Had positive world-view until watching the debacle that is Congress in recent days/weeks/years.

PP here. I'm not making generalizations based on sentences. These are people I know. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Like Jews for Jesus. And about your last comment, a few tea party goons has transformed your worldview? Strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

Even if they're rare, if you could help prevent that just by locking the door behind you, why wouldn't you?
Moreover, non-violent burglaries are no fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

Wow. You make an awful lot of generalizations from a couple sentences written by multiple posters who presumably come from many walks of life. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to stereotype.

Signed,
A liberal with ADT who has worked in gun control, has been raped, had house burglarized, and insists absent-minded DH lock doors. Had positive world-view until watching the debacle that is Congress in recent days/weeks/years.

PP here. I'm not making generalizations based on sentences. These are people I know. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Like Jews for Jesus. And about your last comment, a few tea party goons has transformed your worldview? Strange.

Yes, I also know all about paranoid gun-nuts, and they're crazy. My point was that I found it a bit of a stretch for you to equate the previous posters on this forum who were frustrated by their spouse not locking doors with people who are, "...generally mistrustful with a negative worldview..." Feeling safer with locked doors doesn't exactly make someone a paranoid republican gun nut. Just sayin.

As for my last comment, no, a few tea party goons have not changed my worldview. You jumped to conclusions, again. This wasn't the point of my post so no need to engage on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I forget to lock the doors all the time. The other day I even left the keys (care and house) in the lock on the outside of the door overnight! I am just forgetful like that.

My husband has done that multiple times. Front door. ARGH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Where the heck do you all live? I live in Prince George's County, grew up here, and sometimes remember to lock my doors. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in very safe rural New England and is an OBSESSIVE locker. Gets frustrated with me. Instead of it being a turn on, it's a turn off. Don't be so paranoid!

Like one of the PPs said, every time my car was broken into, it was locked. They actually did more damage smashing windows and then the damage to the steering column when they actually did take it once (it was recovered). When I lived in DC, it was easier to just leave it open. Please Mr. or Mrs. Crackhead, rifle through, take the contents and do not break my window again.

I'm not sure realistically who will be breaking into your home in the early morning hours (when spouse is out for a run). Most burglaries are when people are NOT home. Our burglaries around here --- though very rare -- happen in the daytime.

You do hear about the egregious home invasions -- but I think you'd be more likely to be chosen for the next space shuttle mission than have this happen to you.

My husband is this way too and it drives me nuts. I generally lock doors but I'm not concerned if someone forgets. Seriously people, the whole world isn't out to get you and your stuff.

Thank you. I really think these people are generally mistrustful with a negative worldview. A lot of republicans are this way. In our neighborhood, a lot of the gun lover types have alarm systems whereas we liberals almost universally do not. I think it's that fear mentality that drives them to arm themselves and hide behind their ADT systems. They also seem unable to understand that a home invasion in Richmond or wherever is little one in millions of households. Violent attacks are SO rare. Most thieves want money or stuff and few are willing to go to great lengths or take risks to get it.

Even if they're rare, if you could help prevent that just by locking the door behind you, why wouldn't you?
Moreover, non-violent burglaries are no fun.

I am not the PP you quoted but I don't think she or anyone else on this thread is suggesting that you should stop locking your doors. What I have heard people say is that world isn't going to come to an end if someone occasionally forgets. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

My husband is very passive aggressive & I am starting to think that he leaves the door unlocked at night (and this morning I found the front door standing wide open) solely because I said it made me uncomfortable at night. His stance is that he is 6'4" and people know he lives here, so there will never be a problem. My feeling is that there is little excuse for not closing & locking the door at night in an area where break-ins are relatively common. When someone's awake, it doesn't bother me. Getting up at 7.30Am this morning to find the front door standing open, him in bed (we sleep separately due to how loud he snores) and the potential for our pedigree cats to get out had they not been with me.....is disturbing.

But I don't know what else to do. If I bring it up, he belittles me about it & calls me paranoid since no one would ever break into "his" house. Suggestion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No amount of asking, pleading, cajoling, getting angry, stating the same "you don't care about our safety" conversations has changed my husband either. It all falls on deaf ears. It also drives me ballistically crazy. No advice to you, just a little misery loves company.

+1. My husband came from a pretty crappy neighborhood and his parents never locked the doors, so he takes this as proof that one need not lock one's doors (or even close them). He thinks I'm a nagging PITA for repeatedly asking him "When you come upstairs for the night, please make sure all the doors are locked." I put the kids to bed, so I usually go up first. I hate coming down at 9, after the kids are in bed and it's dark out, to find that half the doors are unlocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very passive aggressive & I am starting to think that he leaves the door unlocked at night (and this morning I found the front door standing wide open) solely because I said it made me uncomfortable at night. His stance is that he is 6'4" and people know he lives here, so there will never be a problem. My feeling is that there is little excuse for not closing & locking the door at night in an area where break-ins are relatively common. When someone's awake, it doesn't bother me. Getting up at 7.30Am this morning to find the front door standing open, him in bed (we sleep separately due to how loud he snores) and the potential for our pedigree cats to get out had they not been with me.....is disturbing.

But I don't know what else to do. If I bring it up, he belittles me about it & calls me paranoid since no one would ever break into "his" house. Suggestion?

Ugh, this sounds like my husband (including the height!) except for the pedigree cats. I think it's a passive aggressive thing too. Like not asking for directions or driving too fast. He's too tough to lock his doors.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in a small no crime town where no one locked their doors. I never lock my doors now. I didn't do this in college either, which drove my roommates crazy. Having to carry keys around seems like seems like an infringement on my personal freedom somehow.

We live in NW DC. DH sometimes locks, and when he does it surprises me when I go out to get the paper.

We had an intruder once--a drunk college student who left through the back door as soon as he realized he was in the wrong house.