Do lawyers make bad husbands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, I'm in a relationship, we have a child together. He is a blue collar guy. Don't worry about me.

Oh yeah, I can see how being married to a lawyer would be so much worse than your current setup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man is in NYC, DC, or Boston and in a Big Law firm, then odds are he is tempted by women, drugs, etc. That doesn't make every lawyer bad, however.

Maybe if he's on the set of "The Good Wife" or in a John Grisham movie, but not so much in real life. I've actually worked at BigLaw in NYC and DC for most of my adult life. Trust me, very few of the women (or men) are particularly tempting, and the most abused drug is caffeine. Yes, I've met some train wreck people, but not too many. Most are too busy working to get into trouble.

Seriously. Don't believe everything you see on tv. My husband is extremely good at what he does (Biglaw partner), and is an awesome husband and father. He has always raced me to get up with the kids in the middle of the night, and puts my needs ahead of his own (I try to do the same for him). He is sensitive, thoughtful, compassionate and fully engaged in home life. He does travel a lot, but does everything he can to maximize his time with his family. And he's not alone. We have 4 or 5 close Biglaw partner friends who revel in their home lives and are wonderful parents and spouses/ life partners. The pricks are out there for sure, but I'm not convinced that they are a large majority.

[Anonymous]

I only read the first page of responses, but I am married to a lawyer and very happy (He is a fed, not Big Law). He is an amazing father and devoted husband. He is motivated and successful at work, but he is also always on time for dinner and spends as much time with his family as he can. Most of his lawyer friends don't have kids yet, but are wonderful husbands (I am friend's with many of them and their wives) and I know will be great dad's too.

[Anonymous]

My husband and are both lawyers. He has his own criminal law practice and I work for a very small family law firm. We don't make tons of money, by a long shot. However, absent a big trial, we are both home by 5:30 and don't work weekends for the most part. He is an awesome kick-ass guy and i think I am a pretty good spouse also! There is such a huge variety of jobs that attorneys do, that it would be so hard to pigeon hole a personality type to just the occupation of "lawyer."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and are both lawyers. He has his own criminal law practice and I work for a very small family law firm. We don't make tons of money, by a long shot. However, absent a big trial, we are both home by 5:30 and don't work weekends for the most part. He is an awesome kick-ass guy and i think I am a pretty good spouse also! There is such a huge variety of jobs that attorneys do, that it would be so hard to pigeon hole a personality type to just the occupation of "lawyer."

Exactly, I think people who are non-lawyers know so little about it that they assume all lawyers do the same type of work. There are lawyers who have never seen the inside of a courtroom y'know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, I'm in a relationship, we have a child together. He is a blue collar guy. Don't worry about me.

Oh yeah, I can see how being married to a lawyer would be so much worse than your current setup.

Because the sum of a person is whether they are a lawyer or blue collar, and it is self-evident that someone "blue collar" is worthless? I'm sure you consider yourself very "educated," but you have no real wisdom about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, I'm in a relationship, we have a child together. He is a blue collar guy. Don't worry about me.

Oh yeah, I can see how being married to a lawyer would be so much worse than your current setup.

Because the sum of a person is whether they are a lawyer or blue collar, and it is self-evident that someone "blue collar" is worthless? I'm sure you consider yourself very "educated," but you have no real wisdom about life.

Because you can dismiss someone as a bad husband just because he's a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I think that there are jerks in every profession. In fact, there are jerks in every category of life. However, I don't find that there are more in law than in other areas. My husband is a big law partner in a big, global firm and he is truly the finest human being that I have ever met. He works a lot, but I knew that when we decided to get married and we have done everything that we can to make our family happy and functional. I think that we are doing a very good job at that. Also, we have a close knit group of friends from the firm and all of them are honest, kind, decent people who are good spouses and parents. We spend weekends at each other's weekend places, we've gone on group vacations, we socialize and have parties together. The lawyers (and spouses) in our group range in age from 35-60, so it is great to have families at many different stages of their lives and careers. We are on the younger end and it has been great to have mentors and role-models to look up to. Admittedly, my husband used to work at a different firm and it wasn't nearly as friendly, but the culture is very different firm to firm.


I work in another profession (education-related) and the people are perfectly nice but they don't tend to socialize with each other and we certainly haven't created the friendship safety net that we have with our big law friends.

Don't believe what you see on tv or what you hear from one friend going through a nasty divorce. Many firm lawyers are happy, healthy, kind people.

[Anonymous]

My husband and my dad are both laywers- neither is a liar, neither is manipulative, my mom and I are not miserable. So there, you have 2 people to add to the other side of your statistical analysis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey type A lawyer ladies. Have you considered that you are possibly the prick lawyers here?

Of course it depends on what you mean when you call yourself "type A." if that just means driven to do your best at all times, hate compromise, and get up at 4:45 to train for marathon, and also organize your handbag collection ... that's one thing. That's "driven."

However the kind of guy I'm thinking of (I'm a PP) is perhaps also driven, but more to the point, he's a cold-eyed shark. Who goes for blood because it's a fun sport. Who'd step over an ailing pregnant woman if it meant the difference between winning and losing.

I suspect that you females calling yourself "type A" aren't really that personality type. I've met, like, 4 in my lifetime and that includes practicing law.

Wow, no, my DH is a partner in a very large lawfirm (practising litigation no less) and he is one of the nicest people around. Way too much generalizing going on in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, women lawyers make horrible spouses and mothers. It's not their fault, the private profession essentially makes them choose their home or their career.

If a man is in NYC, DC, or Boston and in a Big Law firm, then odds are he is tempted by women, drugs, etc. That doesn't make every lawyer bad, however.

Are you kidding me??? MY DH is an attorney at a very large firm and I can tell you he is not tempted by women or drugs. Everyone at his firm is a huge dork. Smart and hardworking, but dorks nonetheless. This post literally made me laugh at loud at my desk at my large law firm. You people watch way too much TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know who's married to a lawyer is miserable. They say their husbands are liars and manipulative.
Is this typical?

Sorry to sound so DCUMish, but maybe it's time you expand your friendships? I'm a lawyer married to a lawyer and find most to be honest and (too) hard-working. As others have said, a liar is a liar in any profession.

Ok I am a lawyer , who is honest and willing to tell the truth. Most lawyers really suck at being husband's because they are dishonest and cheat on their wives. And they cheat in sneaky ways like with coworkers late at night.Any lawyers on here not willing to admitt this is a liar. They are often arrogant too. I was married to a lawyer and dated two other lawyer s. The worst treatment ive ever received. Very disrespectful, cheap, abusive,women hating men. They were comittment phobes who thought they could have any woman they wanted.
because of their lawyer status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know who's married to a lawyer is miserable. They say their husbands are liars and manipulative.

Is this typical?

I can't quote percentages. But I've known as many happy attorney marriages as unhappy, as many virtuous men as not.

When practiced well, the law is one of the healing professions, with doctors and priests. Commensurate with the ideal is the degree of temptation to pride, and arrogance, and duplicity, and power.

If a man is weak in character, then the law will give him plenty of opportunities to fail as a person.

I will admit that I've said, on occasion, "Don't talk like a lawyer to me!". But my husband is scrupulously honest, patient with his (sometimes reprehensible) clients, and kind. But that is because he is a good man whose profession is the law.

Even he admits he can understand why so many attorneys turn to alcohol, though.

+1000
I think that is true regardless of profession, or gender. A strong character is essential.

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious. There are wonderful people and assholes in every profession. My husband is great.

[Anonymous]

Personality type not profession.

My DH is a transactional in house lawyer and the most mild mannered, sweet, kind, helpful guy.