leaving 17 mo old with nanny for a few days...should we do it?

[Anonymous]

I honestly wouldn't do it. A week is a very long time for a child that young. Even if she's used to being with a nanny during the day, she still is used to seeing you every day and you are obviously her mother and she'll miss you if you're not there.

I say take them with you, or go alone.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not do that. Time is much slower for babies. The baby is too young to understand that you are coming back and will mourn you as if you had died. This very traumatic for such a young child. I would definitely take the baby with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not do that. Time is much slower for babies. The baby is too young to understand that you are coming back and will mourn you as if you had died. This very traumatic for such a young child. I would definitely take the baby with me.

This is idiotic and counterproductive. We took a trip when my first was that age - a longer flight than Germany, and for 10 days. My son was fine - cried at first, and was fine 10 minutes later. There are no lasting effects, and he doesn't even remember us being gone (I asked - he has no recollection). The fear-mongering and guilt-tripping are astonishing here.

[Anonymous]

I just left my 15-month-old for a week (for work). DH met me at the airport with DS, and DS barely acknowledged my existence when I greeted him. I thought it was because he was fascinated by the goings-on at the airport.

But now. thanks to DCUM, I realize it's because he thought I had died. He probably thinks I'm mom #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear god no!

You sound awfully immature. You'd rather have your DH with you than with your baby. Nice.

In case of an emergency, there will be NO family close-by. All of you will have to fly in.

How old are you, OP? Does the nanny spend more time with your child than you and your DH do? I suppose if you feel the nanny is the baby's true "mother" then you should feel fine leaving your child with her "mother."

Personally, I would never leave a 17 month old without either parent in the country! What kind of mother are you? Do you think this kid is a pet? Why not put her in a kennel? 17 months is far too young!

And, let me get this straight, you will miss your baby soooooooo much that you need your DH to babysit you and provide solace, instead of staying home with DD and comforting her in your absence? You must be very young, OP. You don't sound like you are ready to be a parent. You've pushed that responsibility off onto the nanny.

Go have fun, OP. Your kid won't even miss you because she'll be with the person who is her true mommy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear god no!

You sound awfully immature. You'd rather have your DH with you than with your baby. Nice.

In case of an emergency, there will be NO family close-by. All of you will have to fly in.

How old are you, OP? Does the nanny spend more time with your child than you and your DH do? I suppose if you feel the nanny is the baby's true "mother" then you should feel fine leaving your child with her "mother."

Personally, I would never leave a 17 month old without either parent in the country! What kind of mother are you? Do you think this kid is a pet? Why not put her in a kennel? 17 months is far too young!

And, let me get this straight, you will miss your baby soooooooo much that you need your DH to babysit you and provide solace, instead of staying home with DD and comforting her in your absence? You must be very young, OP. You don't sound like you are ready to be a parent. You've pushed that responsibility off onto the nanny.

Go have fun, OP. Your kid won't even miss you because she'll be with the person who is her true mommy.

Are you well? Sleep deprived maybe?

[Anonymous]

WOW- some of you women on this are horribly mean!! This woman is not neglecting her child, abusing it or abandoning her role as a mother!! She is balancing life between being a mom and a career woman- something unless you have tried it, don't knock it. (and for you over zealous haters that will come back and accuse of me of being "obviously money hungry and career driven, No- I'm a stay at home mom- I just try to be understanding of others)

OP: If you feel comfortable with your nanny- take the trip. Take your husband if you two want to get away- I was a nanny before becoming a mother for a family of three and often (prearranged) was with the kids from 3- 5 days while both parents were on business trips. Their family lived a minimum of 4 hrs away- they had great neighbors that I knew if I was stuck in a bind, would step up and lend a helping hand. I'm happy to say nothing tragic EVER HAPPENED!!
If you have this awful gut feeling that something bad is going to happen- listen to your intuition. If you are just scared of these nasty women on here attacking your motherhood- then ignore them and go. This something only you and your husband can decide. Sit down and talk with your nanny- maybe she won't even feel comfortable with this and its a mute point to be so worried. I do agree with previous post that suggested signing medical power of attorney and leaving health insurance/medical cards- Your child will not be traumatized- he/she may have a few whiny moments during bedtime etc. but they will just be as excited to see you when you get back as they are when you get home from work- I don't think they have a stable frame of time yet..
Best of luck on your decision...
Stay strong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not do that. Time is much slower for babies. The baby is too young to understand that you are coming back and will mourn you as if you had died. This very traumatic for such a young child. I would definitely take the baby with me.

This is idiotic and counterproductive. We took a trip when my first was that age - a longer flight than Germany, and for 10 days. My son was fine - cried at first, and was fine 10 minutes later. There are no lasting effects, and he doesn't even remember us being gone (I asked - he has no recollection). The fear-mongering and guilt-tripping are astonishing here.

Take a child psychology course. It's the truth. You might not like it but it's true. Yes, your kid will forget because he is is too young to remember but he will be traumatized... unless he already doesn't know you very well or isn't terribly bonded with you. Then he will be fine and you should go. I honestly think a lot of moms don't know or understand how attached normal babies are to their moms or primary caregivers. It's pretty sad that a lot of babies are missing out on this basic human need.

[Anonymous]

I take dh and child with me on work trips. It is wonderful! A little stressfull for dh since our baby is a demanding one - but still it works out really well.

[Anonymous]

We left our 2 children ages 2 and 6 months with our beloved and trusted nanny of 2 years (and her mom) for 10 days and went to Spain many years ago. We had a wonderful trip. The kids were fine! I missed the baby more then I thought I would but all was fine and everyone survived. I had my sister and another babysitter come to relieve the nanny a few times. ITs fine! Go on the trip! Enoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not do that. Time is much slower for babies. The baby is too young to understand that you are coming back and will mourn you as if you had died. This very traumatic for such a young child. I would definitely take the baby with me.

OP said she has to take the trip for work...so, if you were her you'd quit your job instead of taking the trip? I guess that's not a concern for you though, as I'm sure the Germans are not clamoring for your Taco Bell drive thru operator expertise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not do that. Time is much slower for babies. The baby is too young to understand that you are coming back and will mourn you as if you had died. This very traumatic for such a young child. I would definitely take the baby with me.

OP said she has to take the trip for work...so, if you were her you'd quit your job instead of taking the trip? I guess that's not a concern for you though, as I'm sure the Germans are not clamoring for your Taco Bell drive thru operator expertise.

As I said, I would take my husband and baby with me. And that's a really funny joke. Especially since my DH has dual citizenship and I have lived and worked in Germany.

[Anonymous]

Here's my question - how much will you have to work on this trip? If it is mostly work and you'll just see DH at night, and then stay an extra weekend or something to actually sightsee, I'm not sure it is worth it. Like some have suggested, I'd much rather use the money to pay the nanny to stay with DD on the weekend for a quicker getaway and have a lot more time with my husband. I have no problem with the trip, but it almost seems like a waste to go to all that effort and expense (and guilt) and then you'll have to work the whole time.

[Anonymous]

In your situation I would take my husband so that I could take the baby and have him watch her/have all three of us together. I don't understand leaving her stateside if your husband would be going anyway.

[Anonymous]

we did this twice, for 4 nights. it was perfect.