leaving 17 mo old with nanny for a few days...should we do it?

[Anonymous]

Dear god no!

You sound awfully immature. You'd rather have your DH with you than with your baby. Nice.

In case of an emergency, there will be NO family close-by. All of you will have to fly in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only you can decide if your nanny is up to this. We left our DD when she was about the same age with her grandparents and the nanny for a week while DH joined me in Japan. But GPs did the overnights in our home, not the nanny. I would trust her with DD overnight, but not for the whole week. I'd also think through some of the logisitcs. Will nanny have to take your child every where with her? How will she do it? Who will be nanny's back up if nanny needs to do something without baby? How much will nanny charge? Don't forget to give nanny a medical power of attorney and your insurance card to take care of baby's medical needs while you are gone. Do a will before you and DH both go away and have a plan in case you get stuck in Germany (think Iceland volcano).

One other thing to consider is taking both husband and child. A lap child won't be free flying to Germany, but will be relatively cheaper. The flight is a b-tch though. Then, you and DH should pick a hotel with babysitting. I was in Spain and Germany last week, and one of the hotels clearly offered babysitting (I just can't remember which one).

Not true. Lap child will still be free at that age. But money isn't an issue for this OP, it sounds like. Seriously, I am a pretty laid back parent and like the idea of me and my DH going away for a couple of days without DC, and I think it's good for kids to do that. But a few days and a week are much different.

[Anonymous]

Agree w/PP; it's noteworthy that OP hasn't said anything at all about DC that might indicate appropriateness of leaving this particular child w/nanny for a week.

OP, if you really HATE HATE HATE the idea of making the trip alone, bit the bullet and take DH, DC and nanny with you. The flight won't be fun, but it's nonstop (I imagine); it's not like it's transPacific or something, and you've got three adults to handle DC.

[Anonymous]

We just left our 17 month old for 4 days, 3 nights with our trusted nanny and it was fine but I am not sure I could have done longer. She was totally fine with the nanny (the reality is for weekdays, she is with the nanny anyway the majority of the day) but we skyped with her each day and she cried every time- I think she really missed us and it made us sad. However, I know people who go away for longer and if I was in a situation where I had to be away for work and had no choice, I would do it

[Anonymous]

I would never fly off to another country and leave my child with a nanny even a trusted one. You never know what might come up during a week and if god forbid something did you would have to fly home and who knows how long that could take. We all have to miss fun stuff when we become parents. Either one of you stay home for all go. FYI: so you know you are not alone, I stayed home with my child while DH and the rest of his family went to the carribean for a wedding at a luxury resort, due to it being a no kids event.

[Anonymous]

Lap child is usually 10% of the fare.

[Anonymous]

Your DC is at age where she will miss her parents if they are gone. She might be crying hysterically. She will feel lonely.

I can't get over the fact that you think that your loneliness might more important than your daugher''s, who is only a year old.

[Anonymous]

I think you can easily leave a 17 month old with a trusted and loving caregiver for a couple of nights or so.

But on an overseas trip when you don't have to--and for work, not pleasure? No. Especially if this is the first time.

Baby steps.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I couldn't do it. If you want some time alone with DH start with a night or two. Not a full week... and certainly not across the ocean. I'd be too nervous to enjoy it - worrying that something might happen or she'd get sick and I couldn't be there right away.

Now, this is all coming from a mother who has only spent one night away from my DS #1 and he was with his grandmother for that night. My DS #2 is 14 months and we haven't been apart yet. So maybe I'm just overprotective.

[Anonymous]

Go for it OP - your child will be fine. She is used to spending the bulk of her week with the nanny and she won't know the difference if it is the nanny there while she sleeps or you. And 17 months old don't know days of the week so the nanny being there for 6 or 7 consecutive days instead of 5 won't be noticed by her either. Lots of people leave their kids with grandparents / other family. Your child knows your nanny much better than most kids know their extended family.

I don't understand those of you who trust your nanny with your child 8-10-12 hours a day, 40-50-60 hours a week but not while she sleeps at night. During that time your nanny manages when the child cries.

I say go and have a good time.

[Anonymous]

We left our DD with my parents for seven days when she was 10 months because we went to the wedding of a good friend in Australia (and, if you are going to Australia, you don't go for 4 days.) Our daughter was more than fine. Kids don't need your constant presence the way some people seem to think they do. If they are well-cared for by a trusted person, their lives go on pretty much uninterrupted. She got to stay where she was comfortable and we got to have some time to enjoy each other's company.

I have not had a nanny, so I don't know if that would feel differently than leaving her with my parents. However, if it is a possibility, ask your mom, dad, aunt, whoever in your family is your emergency contact person to come out for the week or part of it. Not to take care of the kids, the nanny can handle that just fine, but to be the back up, helper, etc. If the issue is who would make a decision in the case of an emergency, you must already have someone designated. Things can happen even if you never leave the country.

Go ahead and take the time to do something that you and your husband clearly enjoy. Your kids will be better off in the long run having parents who take care of them but don't make their whole world revolve around them. That is too heavy a burden for a kid to carry.

[Anonymous]

would never fly off to another country and leave my child with a nanny even a trusted one. You never know what might come up during a week and if god forbid something did you would have to fly home and who knows how long that could take.

same here. I think it's crazy to even considering flying both parents to another country when you don't HAVE to unless the child is staying w/ grandparents. I love my nanny too - she's been w/ us 3 years and she'll be my first call when I go into labor w/ #2 so that she's prepared to come if my parents can't make it here before we leave for the hospital. But I would still NEVER leave DD w/ her for a week while DH and I jetset off to another country that is an entire ocean (and an 8 hr plane ride) away!

[Anonymous]

This is a good age for you to do this. I left my son at age 15 months with my aunt to go away for a week. He was perfectly fine. He stayed at her house and loved it. She lived on a farm and he loved the animals, etc. The point is, some people are not comfortable with the idea and they will tell you that you are selfish. Think of your child, etc. Unless your toddler is very clingy with you, I don't think it's a big deal. It will be harder when your child is older and more aware that you are gone. I talked to my son on the phone nearly every day I was gone but I don't even think that was necessary.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't let these people make your feel guilty. Your DD will be FINE. She will not remember that you ere gone a after you are back home for 2 days. DCUMers are so psycho judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go for it OP - your child will be fine. She is used to spending the bulk of her week with the nanny and she won't know the difference if it is the nanny there while she sleeps or you. And 17 months old don't know days of the week so the nanny being there for 6 or 7 consecutive days instead of 5 won't be noticed by her either. Lots of people leave their kids with grandparents / other family. Your child knows your nanny much better than most kids know their extended family.

I don't understand those of you who trust your nanny with your child 8-10-12 hours a day, 40-50-60 hours a week but not while she sleeps at night. During that time your nanny manages when the child cries.

I say go and have a good time.

I can't tell if this is a post that supports the OP or is a psychological trip!