Politcal disagreement with friends - when is it too hard to stay friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you differ from your friends politcally, you have to either stop discussing politics entirely or reahc a level of comfort in the inbetween - where you can joke, or see the other side, or at least understand the other person. t a minimum, you have to know what they believe how they will respond and not engage.

You know how your friend feels about gov't workers - so this is not a friend you can go to with worries about losing your job or other pressures feds are under. Is the person a good enough friend otherwise? That's what you have to decide.

I have my high school reunion this weekend. I'm from a rural area that is extremely red. I'm pretty blue and have been since I was a kid. We all know this about each other, even not having seen some of them for decades. No one is going to bring up politics (I don't think). Or if anyone does, I will smile blandly and ask about their mom, what are their kids doing, what do they do for fun, etc etc. You just have to put it to the side.

In my friend’s case— and my parents’ case— I’d prefer to challenge THEM to put their devotion to Trump and his policies that go after the people they don’t like (Democrats, federal workers and minorities) aside.

My husbands entire department at a Treasury subagency was just told they are being RIFed and lady I am going to pray for you. You are a provoking thesr fights

Right and like with OP most people will have no idea nor any basis to judge whether the RIF is or isn't justified as to the whole subagency or any individual employees.

That's the problem with making ones friendships dependent upon what's going on in your professional life. Like OP implies she is doing with her friends.

OP is asking her friends to judge her worthiness to retain continued employment with the feds. But they have no information to make that judgment.

Her friend told OP you're smart which is shorthand for reassuring her that she has nothing to worry about based on what the friend knows about op personally.

That's not good enough for OP. She wants her friend to change political philosophies entirely which is tantamount to agreeing that ALL federal employees should essentially be protected from job cuts because....OP says so?

Rational people make judgments based on information. Can OP rationally make the argument that most of the people she works with are providing the US taxpayer with good value in exchange for de facto lifetime job security of federal employment?

Of course not and she doesn't even try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t be friends with anyone who is okay with genocide, bombing a girls school in another country, bombing a children’s field trip in another country, trivializing and minimizing slavery, no empathy for children being separated from their families, losing their healthcare, living in poverty, etc. This stuff isn’t just attributed to Trump and his policies as some of the above happened under democrats, so it’s not really a political thing for me but an issue of humanity. If someone can’t see all human beings as deserving of safety, dignity, and a decent life, then I don’t want anything to do with them.

I am sure this is absolutely heartbreaking for your approximately 8 billion non-friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

Like many of us, she doesn’t believe your friend is owed a job just because she has kids to support.

MAGAs would rather see people panhandling on GoFundMe than work for the federal government.

Wow that's a fairly major self own PP. Sounds like you believe that most federal employees have no alternatives to their fed.jobs other than pan handling. Whose fault is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

The current administration is doing illegal and corrupt things and many have to leave so they won’t end up in jail later.

They aren’t being fired they are being ask to do illegal stuff,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

Like many of us, she doesn’t believe your friend is owed a job just because she has kids to support.

Nobody said they were “owed a job” but many jobs are important and save lives and really good godfearing people care about others so it’s sad to see a callous sociopathic group just let people die and then turn around and not save money but spend it on UFC fights, lobster dinners and gold arch.

[Anonymous]

Trump is mentioned in the Epstein files by named more than Jesus is mentioned by name in the Bible.

You’ve heard his disgusting words about women out of his own mouth.

It’s a known fact he took out an ad in a newspaper condemning the “Central Park Five” Black boys of a crime they did not commit, and failed to apologize when they were exonerated and freed after serving wrongful sentences.

We can hear the cries from the children held in the Dilley detention center, from the outside.

He is a convicted sexual offender.

It’s time to stop playing politics as usual: Trump supporters support rape, pedophilia, misogyny and racism. Cut Trumpers out of your life. They are horrible people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

OP, could this friend and your mom be responding to the part you play in these dynamics? I sense that while OP has a valid point about their friend, that there is another aspect to the story here.

Agree. If not a troll look at your role here, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you differ from your friends politcally, you have to either stop discussing politics entirely or reahc a level of comfort in the inbetween - where you can joke, or see the other side, or at least understand the other person. t a minimum, you have to know what they believe how they will respond and not engage.

You know how your friend feels about gov't workers - so this is not a friend you can go to with worries about losing your job or other pressures feds are under. Is the person a good enough friend otherwise? That's what you have to decide.

I have my high school reunion this weekend. I'm from a rural area that is extremely red. I'm pretty blue and have been since I was a kid. We all know this about each other, even not having seen some of them for decades. No one is going to bring up politics (I don't think). Or if anyone does, I will smile blandly and ask about their mom, what are their kids doing, what do they do for fun, etc etc. You just have to put it to the side.

In my friend’s case— and my parents’ case— I’d prefer to challenge THEM to put their devotion to Trump and his policies that go after the people they don’t like (Democrats, federal workers and minorities) aside.

My husbands entire department at a Treasury subagency was just told they are being RIFed and lady I am going to pray for you. You are a provoking thesr fights

But here's the thing- I know exactly who and what these people are now. Discussing Trump's crystal clear corruption and how they respond to it is a litmus test. Or in my family's case, sharing first hand account with them of how Orange Julius Caesar is impacting our financial stability is a litmus test.

As a result, I have a crystal clear understanding of what they are. They are people who would cheer on your bad news. I wouldn't call them all bad people, not at all. But not being a bad person doesn't automatically default to being a good person. So, these aren't good people. And life is short, so it's probably best to get those type of people out of my life. Sorry, no, they do not have my blessing to say they care about me or love your kids while cheering on bad things happening to my family. I can't accept that and protect them from themselves.

This^^^^

Love is an actions and their actions are not love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you differ from your friends politcally, you have to either stop discussing politics entirely or reahc a level of comfort in the inbetween - where you can joke, or see the other side, or at least understand the other person. t a minimum, you have to know what they believe how they will respond and not engage.

You know how your friend feels about gov't workers - so this is not a friend you can go to with worries about losing your job or other pressures feds are under. Is the person a good enough friend otherwise? That's what you have to decide.

I have my high school reunion this weekend. I'm from a rural area that is extremely red. I'm pretty blue and have been since I was a kid. We all know this about each other, even not having seen some of them for decades. No one is going to bring up politics (I don't think). Or if anyone does, I will smile blandly and ask about their mom, what are their kids doing, what do they do for fun, etc etc. You just have to put it to the side.

In my friend’s case— and my parents’ case— I’d prefer to challenge THEM to put their devotion to Trump and his policies that go after the people they don’t like (Democrats, federal workers and minorities) aside.

My husbands entire department at a Treasury subagency was just told they are being RIFed and lady I am going to pray for you. You are a provoking thesr fights

Sorry re: your DH. OP has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knew 100% before I opened the thread that the problem with a friend not sharing your political views was coming from someone on the tolerant left.

There is no equating both sides here given the negative economic and social impact of Christian nationalism. Not seeing that is its own form of TDS.

Most rational people are and should be far more concerned about radical Islamic terrorism and the highly disproportionate level of violence of young black males. Last time I checked it wasn't Christian. nationalism beheading people in Ireland nor murdering teenagers with knives at high school track meets

Actually white Christian males now and historically commit more crimes than anybody ever in any history book.

More than Islam, more than black teens, more than immigrants,

[Anonymous]

I’m from a very religious background and no those people are not my friends but they are people I must interact with.

I tell them I’m praying for them since they are idolizing a false god.

I’m praying for their soul since their actions have left a mortal sin on their soul and they are too proud to confess it,

I tell them I’m praying for their hypocrisy and idolatry and blasphemy.

When they say things “political” I say it’s moral and the Holy Spirit works through me and the devil is working through them,

If they ask me to go to brunch on Sunday I say I’m busy saying a novena for them since the devil has hold of their soul.

Recently they asked for a play date and I said not until their soul was cleansed through confession I couldn’t leave my kids in a house that worships the devil,

When they get communion I say you know you aren’t supposed to with a sinful soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Knew 100% before I opened the thread that the problem with a friend not sharing your political views was coming from someone on the tolerant left.

There's no bOtH sIDes now, unfortunately.
One side is breathtakingly corrupt, fleecing the US and destroying democracy. They have all the power so they can't even blame anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you differ from your friends politcally, you have to either stop discussing politics entirely or reahc a level of comfort in the inbetween - where you can joke, or see the other side, or at least understand the other person. t a minimum, you have to know what they believe how they will respond and not engage.

You know how your friend feels about gov't workers - so this is not a friend you can go to with worries about losing your job or other pressures feds are under. Is the person a good enough friend otherwise? That's what you have to decide.

I have my high school reunion this weekend. I'm from a rural area that is extremely red. I'm pretty blue and have been since I was a kid. We all know this about each other, even not having seen some of them for decades. No one is going to bring up politics (I don't think). Or if anyone does, I will smile blandly and ask about their mom, what are their kids doing, what do they do for fun, etc etc. You just have to put it to the side.

In my friend’s case— and my parents’ case— I’d prefer to challenge THEM to put their devotion to Trump and his policies that go after the people they don’t like (Democrats, federal workers and minorities) aside.

My husbands entire department at a Treasury subagency was just told they are being RIFed and lady I am going to pray for you. You are a provoking thesr fights

Right and like with OP most people will have no idea nor any basis to judge whether the RIF is or isn't justified as to the whole subagency or any individual employees.

That's the problem with making ones friendships dependent upon what's going on in your professional life. Like OP implies she is doing with her friends.

OP is asking her friends to judge her worthiness to retain continued employment with the feds. But they have no information to make that judgment.

Her friend told OP you're smart which is shorthand for reassuring her that she has nothing to worry about based on what the friend knows about op personally.

That's not good enough for OP. She wants her friend to change political philosophies entirely which is tantamount to agreeing that ALL federal employees should essentially be protected from job cuts because....OP says so?

Rational people make judgments based on information. Can OP rationally make the argument that most of the people she works with are providing the US taxpayer with good value in exchange for de facto lifetime job security of federal employment?

Of course not and she doesn't even try.

You are full of shit. We have all seen the haphazard cuts made without thought or preparation. The loss of institutional knowledge is staggering.

No one expects “a lifetime of job security”, but we do expect more thoughtful analysis for cuts as well as some kind of transition planning.

Republicans aren’t doing this because they are trying to burn it all down, as planned. They want the government to fail to justify further cuts. They need to fund Trump’s ridiculous arch somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knew 100% before I opened the thread that the problem with a friend not sharing your political views was coming from someone on the tolerant left.

There's no bOtH sIDes now, unfortunately.
One side is breathtakingly corrupt, fleecing the US and destroying democracy. They have all the power so they can't even blame anyone else.

+1

Anyone who supports this extreme level of corruption and depravity is a real a-hole.

[Anonymous]

I have always celebrated differences, and my friends have different opinions and beliefs from me. However, there are some things I’m not ok with: Nazis, white supremacists, maga. Anyone who believes other humans should be abused or killed because they are different. I can’t be friends with them.