Politcal disagreement with friends - when is it too hard to stay friends?

[Anonymous]

I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

[Anonymous]

People change. Relationships change. It's okay to not continue a friendship. Protect your peace.

[Anonymous]

Hey Troll, pretty poor obvious attempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

Like many of us, she doesn’t believe your friend is owed a job just because she has kids to support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

OP, could this friend and your mom be responding to the part you play in these dynamics? I sense that while OP has a valid point about their friend, that there is another aspect to the story here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been friends with this person for several years. She's been a great friend, but since Trump became president, she's been showing me a pretty ugly side. She knows my husband and I are federal workers, and when I told her last year that we're worried about our jobs, she said flippantly, "well, there's too much waste and you'll be fine anyway since you're both so smart." And then she throws in, I'll pray for you both! I didn't know what to do with that, and asked her how she'd feel about the possibility of losing her job and she basically said people in the private sector get laid off all the time and again emphasized it wouldn't be the end of the world. I let it go.

Over the last year, she's started to say more and more unsettling things like that, basically glossing over a lot of the corruption going on, deflecting to Biden and Obama any time I question Trump, and then emphasizing that I need to pray more when I'm worried or focus on positive things. Kinda funny, that's exactly what my MAGA parents and relatives all say as well-- pray more and seek joy! WTF is that all about. My MAGA mom will forward all these warm and fuzzy platitudes and Mother Theresa quotes in response to anything negative I send her about Trump.

Would you back away from the friendship? I've never imagined that an actual friend would respond this way over employment concerns, even sounding happy about people losing their jobs. I told her about a good friend of mine with kids to support who had to leave her federal job because of the administration and again, the same callous response--"the government is such a waste, I hate paying taxes, and I'll pray for her!" Is this a MAGA thing? Think happy thoughts and pray to Jesus in response to any mention to the administration's corruption and cruelty?

OP, could this friend and your mom be responding to the part you play in these dynamics? I sense that while OP has a valid point about their friend, that there is another aspect to the story here.

OP here. With my mom, I'm trying to help her save face and show some empathy. She claims to love her grandkids, but she's ok with her daughter and SIL having their jobs threatened by Trump. I can't wrap my head around having a relationship with someone who supports our family losing our income. Quite frankly, it's disgusting to me and shows me she has a shitty character. Yeah, yeah, she's a loving grandmother, but her lack of empathy and wllingness to even say, "hey, I hope you guys don't lose your jobs" is sickening to me. Same goes with this friend. I can't accept them wanting bad things to happen to us but claiming they are good friends/parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey Troll, pretty poor obvious attempt.

Nope, sad people like this do exist. They say "we love you!" out of one side of their mouth and "we hope you suffer as our Glorious Dear Leader wants you to!" out of the other side. Make sense of that to me.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I think Trump and his MAGA cult pose a threat to our country’s freedom, functioning, and survival. Politically, I think they should absolutely be opposed.

Personally, I wouldn’t sacrifice relationships over politics. While I’m sure it’s hard not to take comments personally, when you are personally suffering from serious effects like worrying about potential job loss, I think you should try to summon whatever grace you can muster to recognize that those types of comments from a friend were probably made from oblivious ignorance rather than any type of malicious intent. Find areas of common ground to discuss, even if it means avoiding political discussion altogether. People are more important than politics. Fundamentally, politics should serve the interests of people, rather than vice versa.

Politically, I think we’ll be more effective at turning people against Trump by being friends that share common values and interests. Instead of attacking people like your friend, use the common ground to show where Trump is opposing HER priorities. At the same time, be an honest broker and admit when a Democrat says or does something boneheaded and/or corrupt. If she thinks you have been brainwashed by “DEI” liberals and have “Trump Derangement Syndrome”, she’ll just dig in and resist everything you say. If she considers you a reasonable person who she can identify with, she’s more likely to consider your viewpoint, and perhaps be eventually deprogrammed from the MAGA cult.

I hope both you and your husband are able to retain your jobs. It seems like between the rift with Musk and Trump’s short attention span, he’s currently more focused on other priorities. Unfortunately, he’s already managed to wreak havoc on both the individual lives of the workers who were fired and on the functioning of the government which consequently weakens the nation. It will be years before we fully appreciate the cost of Trump’s cuts, the recent screwworm threat being just one example.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Trump supporter but I would have expressed empathy and pivoted to positivity and faith because I want you to be empowered with knowing theres always another door to walk through and you will be okay. Federal positions are prone to instability when the economy is unstable. And our government was never meant to be this powerful in the first place. The power was meant to be concentrated to the states. Part of the laysoffs are an unfortunate consequence but with your experience and knowledge, you're bound to get another great position.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I think Trump and his MAGA cult pose a threat to our country’s freedom, functioning, and survival. Politically, I think they should absolutely be opposed.

Personally, I wouldn’t sacrifice relationships over politics. While I’m sure it’s hard not to take comments personally, when you are personally suffering from serious effects like worrying about potential job loss, I think you should try to summon whatever grace you can muster to recognize that those types of comments from a friend were probably made from oblivious ignorance rather than any type of malicious intent. Find areas of common ground to discuss, even if it means avoiding political discussion altogether. People are more important than politics. Fundamentally, politics should serve the interests of people, rather than vice versa.

Politically, I think we’ll be more effective at turning people against Trump by being friends that share common values and interests. Instead of attacking people like your friend, use the common ground to show where Trump is opposing HER priorities. At the same time, be an honest broker and admit when a Democrat says or does something boneheaded and/or corrupt. If she thinks you have been brainwashed by “DEI” liberals and have “Trump Derangement Syndrome”, she’ll just dig in and resist everything you say. If she considers you a reasonable person who she can identify with, she’s more likely to consider your viewpoint, and perhaps be eventually deprogrammed from the MAGA cult.

I hope both you and your husband are able to retain your jobs. It seems like between the rift with Musk and Trump’s short attention span, he’s currently more focused on other priorities. Unfortunately, he’s already managed to wreak havoc on both the individual lives of the workers who were fired and on the functioning of the government which consequently weakens the nation. It will be years before we fully appreciate the cost of Trump’s cuts, the recent screwworm threat being just one example.

Great response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

OP here. I could say the same thing to a friend who works in the private sector, who has had a good job for 20 years but the new CEO is a well-known prick and wants to fire half the staff to bring in his cronies. I would never tell them that’s just how it is, you’re not guaranteed a job, buck up and job hunt and I’m (sanctimoniously) praying to Jesus for you. Moshing saying shit like that to a friend living a middle class life paying for a few kids and trying to save for college and retirement. What kind of a person would lack empathy? Or is it just, as the Avenue Q song went… Schadenfreude?
It’s like saying to someone who just found of they have cancer, “well, you did smoke 30 years ago and even if you didn’t smoke, the Potomac is tainted and you chose to live near it, but alas, I’ll pray for you!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

OP here. I could say the same thing to a friend who works in the private sector, who has had a good job for 20 years but the new CEO is a well-known prick and wants to fire half the staff to bring in his cronies. I would never tell them that’s just how it is, you’re not guaranteed a job, buck up and job hunt and I’m (sanctimoniously) praying to Jesus for you. IMAGINE saying shit like that to a friend living a middle class life paying for a few kids and trying to save for college and retirement. What kind of a person would lack empathy? Or is it just, as the Avenue Q song went… Schadenfreude?
It’s like saying to someone who just found of they have cancer, “well, you did smoke 30 years ago and even if you didn’t smoke, the Potomac is tainted and you chose to live near it, but alas, I’ll pray for you!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

Are you still waiting for your invitation to the ballroom signed by Trump himself with the signature we all know so well from the tasteful Epstein birthday card?

Or the UFC fight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you and your husband something like federal judges, with guaranteed for life jobs? Are you both irreplaceable uniquely skilled workers with special knowledge essential to the preservation of the Republic? I'm misunderstanding something here-- you seem to be saying you and your husband are guaranteed lifetime employment or at least until you decide to retire or resign voluntarily. And somehow Trump is illegally threatening your guaranteed lifetime employment?

Aside from that, what is the issue here?

OP here. I could say the same thing to a friend who works in the private sector, who has had a good job for 20 years but the new CEO is a well-known prick and wants to fire half the staff to bring in his cronies. I would never tell them that’s just how it is, you’re not guaranteed a job, buck up and job hunt and I’m (sanctimoniously) praying to Jesus for you. IMAGINE saying shit like that to a friend living a middle class life paying for a few kids and trying to save for college and retirement. What kind of a person would lack empathy? Or is it just, as the Avenue Q song went… Schadenfreude?
It’s like saying to someone who just found of they have cancer, “well, you did smoke 30 years ago and even if you didn’t smoke, the Potomac is tainted and you chose to live near it, but alas, I’ll pray for you!”

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