Houseguests…so confused

[Anonymous]

Why don't you have fresh food for your home daily?

[Anonymous]

I would say, "We warned you this would not be a regular visit and we couldn't host-host you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you have fresh food for your home daily?

NP. Why do you waste food? In my house, we eat our leftovers. Wasting food is bad for the environment and the wallet, and usually indicates that the parents are likely to get take-out or fast food.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

You take what? I have regular cleaning people and live in a brand new home. You know nothing about me.

So you’re lazy. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

You take what? I have regular cleaning people and live in a brand new home. You know nothing about me.

So you’re lazy. Got it.

Gosh, another swing and a miss. Declaring everything off limits until breaks is a special kind of rigid laziness that seems to be lost on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

You take what? I have regular cleaning people and live in a brand new home. You know nothing about me.

So you’re lazy. Got it.

Gosh, another swing and a miss. Declaring everything off limits until breaks is a special kind of rigid laziness that seems to be lost on you.

DP:
Are you OK? Apparently you’ve been checking this thread all day, and making it personal to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you have fresh food for your home daily?

NP. Why do you waste food? In my house, we eat our leftovers. Wasting food is bad for the environment and the wallet, and usually indicates that the parents are likely to get take-out or fast food.

Seems like you would have to go out of your way to plan for the leftovers to be served just as guests arrive. It's not like it was sprung last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say, "We warned you this would not be a regular visit and we couldn't host-host you."

Yes. I'm sorry that they couldn't be nicer.

[Anonymous]

So you clearly have no problem setting boundaries and holding them. Good for you. But you also expect them to just not have feelings or preferences which is a bit much. Try not to have the kind of life that leaves you with zero patience, flexibility or kindness left over for family.

[Anonymous]

You didn't have to be the greatest hosts of all time but serving leftovers was incredibly rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't have to be the greatest hosts of all time but serving leftovers was incredibly rude.

NP and for all you know, both OP and DH had big meetings or after-school obligations like taking a kid to a practice on Thursday, so they made a big lasagna on Wednesday.

If you want to be treated like family with a visit during a busy time, you fall in. There is nothing wrong with a lasagna the next day. If you want the full guest treatment, you wait to visit during a time that works for your hosts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't have to be the greatest hosts of all time but serving leftovers was incredibly rude.

NP and for all you know, both OP and DH had big meetings or after-school obligations like taking a kid to a practice on Thursday, so they made a big lasagna on Wednesday.

If you want to be treated like family with a visit during a busy time, you fall in. There is nothing wrong with a lasagna the next day. If you want the full guest treatment, you wait to visit during a time that works for your hosts.

The point of the visit was the wedding. If it's your in-laws you just remind your spouse that their parents are coming and to figure out dinner. And if you have time to make a big lasagna on a weeknight how busy are you?

[Anonymous]

The problem is your husband.
He should of told his parents no.

[Anonymous]

DH needs to talk to them and be blunt. Their commentary is rude and not appreciated and they knew what this weekend would be.

I would feign a work emergency and just stay in my room. Order takeout for dinner and if they are so underwhelmed they can eat at a restaurant themselves.

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, professional caterer. If you’ve ever eaten lasagna at a catered event or at a restaurant, congratulations! You’ve had leftover lasagna.