Houseguests…so confused

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

You're just looking for a fight today. Why not take a nap since you seem to have below average energy stores?

NP and it seems you’re the one feeling activated, perhaps because you know you’re an overbearing guest

I love when people have the gotchas. I have the detached guest house, but thanks for playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

You're just looking for a fight today. Why not take a nap since you seem to have below average energy stores?

NP and it seems you’re the one feeling activated, perhaps because you know you’re an overbearing guest

I love when people have the gotchas. I have the detached guest house, but thanks for playing.

Poor reading comprehension, I said overbearing GUEST. Not host. Although maybe you’re never a guest because who would invite you anywhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

[Anonymous]

It never fails that the week before or of the last week of school or the days before I am set to fly out of the country I have a houseguest request. In my culture, the room is always open unless there are other guests. It can be so stressful when your mind is being pulled in other directions and you cannot enjoy anything and the guests rarely understand how much demand they place on you from being quiet at times you need to be loud or running in and out or not available to have dinners. They think they are low maintenance but you are in a time when the few moments you have free are simply not spoken for yet or needed to decompress. When it rains it pours, but from experience, just let it ride, even if they are all complaints about your failing to provide for them in one way or another. Snapping back will feel great in the moment but can make things sour, if you are just over them snapping can provide the benefit of them no longer visiting too. Its your call but you are almost done with them, try not to focus and be genuine when responding with reminders of your busy schedule, not accusations of their imposing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

[Anonymous]

"As we said before, we have other things going on. We would like to invite you again, but can't if you complain"

[Anonymous]

Just don’t pay them any attention when they make these comments if you clearly warned them. Don’t waste your energy being upset. Just walk out of the room. Next time it might just be easier to say, you are welcome to stay at our home and we’ll get the guest room ready but we have plans all weekend so we won’t be able to spend more than a few minutes here or there together. If they continue to complain about the bday parties, you can just say on repeat, “if only we had known sooner we would have declined the invite”. But also ask yourself if you’d be so easily irritated by your own parents. It’s nice they are interested in spending time with your family. My ILs are the opposite. They are practically strangers to my kids. They moved across the country after our second was born. Initially they traveled here every year or two and would tell us they’d be here for 1-2 weeks so we would clear our schedule. A week or so out, DH would try to pin down plans and logistics but they’d just provide vague assurances that they’d be seeing us. In the end, we got whatever day and time was left after they’d scheduled with their other kids and their friends. It was always just a few hours on a random afternoon. So I stopped clearing our schedules. Then they stopped visiting. I would have really loved if they’d wanted to involved like your in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

You're just looking for a fight today. Why not take a nap since you seem to have below average energy stores?

You can take that ugly ableist bs back to whatever personal hell you came from. Not OP

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP. They're almost gone. I would just ride this one out but now you know never to allow them to come unless it's on your terms and works with your schedule. Their complaints are beyond annoying. I would never ask my child to skip a birthday party for my parents (no in-laws).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

You take what? I have regular cleaning people and live in a brand new home. You know nothing about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

You're just looking for a fight today. Why not take a nap since you seem to have below average energy stores?

You can take that ugly ableist bs back to whatever personal hell you came from. Not OP

OP might have mentioned her disability then in her long winded whiny post.

[Anonymous]

Just repeat: yes, we are proceeding as planned. No, we aren't changing anything.

[Anonymous]

They invited themselves.
They should have gotten dinner ready instead of complaining about leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if this was a well liked friend you would have made the tiniest effort. But, it's the in-laws so that would be asking too much.

OP here. We made the effort of cleaning the house and putting clean sheets on the bed and extra towels in the guest bath. There is nothing wrong with lasagna, or with pizza: and by the way, we’ve eaten both leftovers and pizza in their home before.

No, my daughter isn’t going to skip a birthday party that she RSVPd for before the grandparents asked to stay with us. We went out of our way to explain this was a busy weekend, and we’re not up for hostessing with the mostessing. I am making a very nice dinner tonight, the one non-workday evening they are here with us. I’ve also provided more hot breakfast items than I ever do when it’s just my family in our home.

None of our friends would ever treat us this way. Ever. Especially not after we told them it wasn’t a great time to visit, and they said they understood. My friends know that a free place to stay when they are in town for another event entirely is a GIFT.

At any rate, DH is ready to tell them flat out to stop the complaining. They are beyond rude and we will absolutely never trust that they can handle a visit during a non-holiday/non-summertime ever again.

Have you had dirty sheets on the bed since the last visitor? And putting towels in the bathroom? Nobody is going to accuse you of rolling out the red carped.

NP and I always put fresh sheets on the guest bed but put new sheets on anyway when a guest is imminent. How weird, no one wants to sleep on potentially dusty sheets if it has been months

How does dust get in the bed if you have a duvet or cover on it?

I take it you also never air out a room? A lot of people have musty, stale smelling homes and don’t seem to realize

You take what? I have regular cleaning people and live in a brand new home. You know nothing about me.

Would you like a cookie?