Pouts and Denial- What is Wrong With My Wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question OP is why are you asking here when you know we have no idea what your wife is thinking (except perhaps that you seem to think you can have three kids but only be their parent on the weekend)

You are suggesting we communicate with our spouses - no matter how difficult - rather than crowdsource/complain/vent/etc... ?

Welcome to DCUM. Good luck with this.

He isn't venting, he is asking us to justify him hiding in the basement while his wife cares for their 3 kids.

Yes add validation and justification to the list of things DCUM does (encourages) rather than seeking resolution through difficult communication.

[Anonymous]

Nobody knows whats going on with her. But you can tell her that you see she may be in a bad mood but that doesn't justify her taking it out on you. And when shes ready to talk you will be there to listen but until then she can keep her nastiness to herself.

The above is my go to for my husband and kids as im not there punching bag. Everyone needs to learn to control there emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

Which one is it Op— Half a dozen things or nothing?

Your post makes zero sense.

Except the part where you’re the selfish, uncommunicative douche who takes a meal someone else cooked yesterday and only heat up and serve yourself it the next dinner.

OP here. The dinner was lambchops, mintchimichurri, roasted potatos, steamed green beans, and home made rolls. I made it. It was leftovers from Easter, which I cooked for our family of 5.... and her mom, dad, brother and wife.

I feel bad for your husband.

So you have a family of 5? You, wife, and 3 kids? Who is parenting the kids while you’re decamped to the basement after work heating leftovers for yourself?

Irrelevant unless the kids are young. There is no parenting a 16 yo and a 17 yo. And why is it the husbands job? Why can the wife decamp to wherever and eat the leftovers he cooked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to say “hey, can we talk? I feel like you might be unhappy with me and I would like to see if there’s anything I can do. I care about you.”

Why you didn’t do this is beyond my comprehension.

Because it's an apology for a 'crime' he doesn't know he committed.

[Anonymous]

You need a better wife.

[Anonymous]

Are you starting to make excuses to begin an affair OP? Looking for validation here?

[Anonymous]

OP your wife is having an affair. New disinterest and unhappiness with the marriage suggests that she either has a crush or is actively having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Did you forget her birthday? My dh did this once and by evening I was livid.

Most likely is that she's just had a bad day and doesn't want to discuss. Best thing you could do is say something around the lines of "I love you, sorry you had a bad day. Let me know if I can do anything, in any case I hope tomorrow will be better." And then go.

[Anonymous]

She’s a woman, OP. That’s all the answer you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you forget her birthday? My dh did this once and by evening I was livid.

Most likely is that she's just had a bad day and doesn't want to discuss. Best thing you could do is say something around the lines of "I love you, sorry you had a bad day. Let me know if I can do anything, in any case I hope tomorrow will be better." And then go.

This is my guess. It’s her birthday. Or she had an outpatient surgery today and you were supposed to drive her home but forgot. Or she got the results of a biopsy today and she’s scared. Or it’s the anniversary of her sisters death. Or she found evidence that you are having an affair. Or you were supposed to be at an IEP meeting an no-showed.
I don’t know. How are we supposed to know why your wife is mad at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you forget her birthday? My dh did this once and by evening I was livid.

Most likely is that she's just had a bad day and doesn't want to discuss. Best thing you could do is say something around the lines of "I love you, sorry you had a bad day. Let me know if I can do anything, in any case I hope tomorrow will be better." And then go.

This is my guess. It’s her birthday. Or she had an outpatient surgery today and you were supposed to drive her home but forgot. Or she got the results of a biopsy today and she’s scared. Or it’s the anniversary of her sisters death. Or she found evidence that you are having an affair. Or you were supposed to be at an IEP meeting an no-showed.
I don’t know. How are we supposed to know why your wife is mad at you.

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

[Anonymous]

I don't know that we're necessarily hearing the whole story. OP might be an unreliable narrator.

But, taking it at face value, I don't get the people who suggested OP didn't try to communicate or doesn't care. He noticed a problem and, not knowing what it might be, asked. She denied it four times. Peter only denied knowing Jesus three times before the cock crowed.

Without knowing more, I'd say she's having a bad day combined with hormones. Maybe you did something slightly off-putting but she recognizes that her response is out of proportion so she doesn't want to get into the details.

Or maybe OP murdered her favorite cat and he forgot to tell us about it. This is the anonymous Internet. Who knows?

[Anonymous]

Are you politically opposite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that we're necessarily hearing the whole story. OP might be an unreliable narrator.

But, taking it at face value, I don't get the people who suggested OP didn't try to communicate or doesn't care. He noticed a problem and, not knowing what it might be, asked. She denied it four times. Peter only denied knowing Jesus three times before the cock crowed.

Without knowing more, I'd say she's having a bad day combined with hormones. Maybe you did something slightly off-putting but she recognizes that her response is out of proportion so she doesn't want to get into the details.

Or maybe OP murdered her favorite cat and he forgot to tell us about it. This is the anonymous Internet. Who knows?

OP doesn’t seem to be a reliable narrator. He says that this has never happened before, but they both seem to have a whole script written out for this kind of fight.

Having been on this board for a while, I’m going to say that it’s much much more likely that he ran over her favorite cat and thinks she’s blowing it out of proportion than it is that she’s just randomly moody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that we're necessarily hearing the whole story. OP might be an unreliable narrator.

But, taking it at face value, I don't get the people who suggested OP didn't try to communicate or doesn't care. He noticed a problem and, not knowing what it might be, asked. She denied it four times. Peter only denied knowing Jesus three times before the cock crowed.

Without knowing more, I'd say she's having a bad day combined with hormones. Maybe you did something slightly off-putting but she recognizes that her response is out of proportion so she doesn't want to get into the details.

Or maybe OP murdered her favorite cat and he forgot to tell us about it. This is the anonymous Internet. Who knows?

OP doesn’t seem to be a reliable narrator. He says that this has never happened before, but they both seem to have a whole script written out for this kind of fight.

Having been on this board for a while, I’m going to say that it’s much much more likely that he ran over her favorite cat and thinks she’s blowing it out of proportion than it is that she’s just randomly moody.

My money is still on him bringing a PayDay into the house.