Pouts and Denial- What is Wrong With My Wife?

[Anonymous]

I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

Period? Menopause?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

So you get home from work, run to the basement to avoid her, and get yourself dinner without eating with her or offering to get her any. And your question is “what’s wrong with her?”. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

Which one is it Op— Half a dozen things or nothing?

Your post makes zero sense.

Except the part where you’re the selfish, uncommunicative douche who takes a meal someone else cooked yesterday and only heat up and serve yourself it the next dinner.

[Anonymous]

Do you regularly cook separate dinners? Take turns? Who cooks more often?

I’d guess that hormones are the cause and a little thoughtlessness on your part was the trigger. Just apologize. Look around the house and see if there are easy chores that she usually does that need doing. Probably not her laundry, but something you can’t mess up. Taking out the trash. Doing dishes. Cleaning bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Did she cook those leftovers that you took out to warm up for yourself only?

[Anonymous]

In a fight with her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

Which one is it Op— Half a dozen things or nothing?

Your post makes zero sense.

Except the part where you’re the selfish, uncommunicative douche who takes a meal someone else cooked yesterday and only heat up and serve yourself it the next dinner.

OP here. The dinner was lambchops, mintchimichurri, roasted potatos, steamed green beans, and home made rolls. I made it. It was leftovers from Easter, which I cooked for our family of 5.... and her mom, dad, brother and wife.

I feel bad for your husband.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your wife may be depressed - - perhaps severely.

I would encourage her to seek professional assistance before your entire marriage implodes.

Or……
Maybe she is really really angry at you for something that you did in the past & does not know another way to effectively deal with all of her anger + resentment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

Which one is it Op— Half a dozen things or nothing?

Your post makes zero sense.

Except the part where you’re the selfish, uncommunicative douche who takes a meal someone else cooked yesterday and only heat up and serve yourself it the next dinner.

OP here. The dinner was lambchops, mintchimichurri, roasted potatos, steamed green beans, and home made rolls. I made it. It was leftovers from Easter, which I cooked for our family of 5.... and her mom, dad, brother and wife.

I feel bad for your husband.

So you have a family of 5? You, wife, and 3 kids? Who is parenting the kids while you’re decamped to the basement after work heating leftovers for yourself?

[Anonymous]

Are you checked out????

[Anonymous]

She definitely feels that you are not paying attention to something obvious that you should be noticing. So on the weekend, ask her to make time for both of you to sit down and talk through whatever it ailing her.

And separately, when she's calm, tell her that she needs to communicate her resentment or anger in a more constructive way, because huffing and pouting is extremely irritating and makes everything worse. Suggest that you do couples' therapy to learn better communication methods, both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get home from work. Wife is immediately an intentional a$$hole about a half dozen things. I ask what the problem is, I get told "nothing" four times, so I leave it be.

Aggressive, unpleasant, huffy-puffy pout continues. I ignore it. Not taking the bait or rewarding her antisocial behavior. She's now polluting the whole house. I decamp to the basement and post on the internet/watch TV.

At 7:30, I'm called a jerk for not reheating two portions of leftovers. She never asked for a portion.

This is new. We've been together for 17 years.

Humor me with your guesses

What were the half dozen things?

What is “new”?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she's reconciling herself with the fact that her spouse has no interest in what's going on with her - parent health, sibling dynamics, birth family concerns, her own health, job concerns, etc...
She needs to get over this resentment period about your lack of interest and come to a plateau where you are not a false marker as she navigates the next few decades of her life when the people she cares about sicken and die.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t catch it- what’s the denial part?