14yo refusing to go on trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pack a bag for her and tell her that she may not have what she needs on the trip if she refuses to pack for herself. From now until departure time, I'd ignore her and just go about your business. Do not let her see you sweat this.

+1

People saying she should be able to opt out (because poor baby wants to go to Hawaii instead of Italy! ) are CRAZY. You've either got a spoiled brat or she's have a Moment (as all 14 year olds do at some point) but either way, you do NOT give in. Jesus.

I'd probably take her phone and tell her she can have it back when you're on the plane IF she's not being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pack a bag for her and tell her that she may not have what she needs on the trip if she refuses to pack for herself. From now until departure time, I'd ignore her and just go about your business. Do not let her see you sweat this.

+1

People saying she should be able to opt out (because poor baby wants to go to Hawaii instead of Italy! ) are CRAZY. You've either got a spoiled brat or she's have a Moment (as all 14 year olds do at some point) but either way, you do NOT give in. Jesus.

I'd probably take her phone and tell her she can have it back when you're on the plane IF she's not being a jerk.

I was just about to write that OP should turn off or take the phone now but tell her she can earn it back with good behavior/attitude starting now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our trip is to Italy, half vacation/half visiting relatives. She doesn’t want to go Italy, and wants to go to the Hawaii, or somewhere else, but it isn’t her choice. There isn’t anyone available for her to stay with. OP

Not to be rude, but this girl is spoiled rotten. You have to get her under control.

Seriously. Do you travel frequently? My kid was so excited to go to London at age 14. It was his first trip overseas and he couldn’t wait to get a passport and get a stamp in it (they didn’t stamp it I remember being the same way when I was 22 on my first international trip.

[Anonymous]

You be the parent and tell her she is going. You can't keep her from sulking and whiny and being moody but she is a child and you are the parents. Does she run the house or why does she think she has the power and authority to simply say she isn't going on a family vacation?

[Anonymous]

If she physically refuses, then call whatever family you have (not her friends) to come and get her and tell them she is grounded. Take her phone, laptop, tablet, any devices with you.

Don't let it ruin your trip. You can deal with her when you get back. If they can't take her to school, that is fine too. She can sit and read books until you get home.

Bring your family / family friend home a very nice gift.

[Anonymous]

It would *never* have occurred to me that I had power to refuse to go. Tell me parents, would you have ever?

A modern day parenting fail. Big time. I am sorry though OP, for the struggle

[Anonymous]

How did it get this bad?? Of course you don't let her stay home! You already have a completely spoiled brat on your hands. It is time for some strict parenting because this is the most disrespectful behavior that is showing that you better step up and make it clear that she can't treat you like this.

[Anonymous]

Who are these terrible parents in here that are telling you to give in when you have already failed. THIS is not the time to give in. This is a wake up call about what you are creating, which should be your most important priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the actual heck eff.

She can’t refuse. Because you aren’t asking. This is where the family is going. You can pack for her and let her know you will be bringing last year’s pajamas for every outfit. (Plus any coats that might be needed - I am not a monster.).

I would negotiate some on activities, number of mornings to sleep in, etc. And I ask my kids to weigh in on family trips as we plan them. But once plans are hooked, that’s that.

They are in part going to see family. I don't think there is any negotiating when traveling to see family.

PP here. I meant, at the end of a long day of seeing family with a good attitude, I might let her skip dinner and plead jet lag. I can be reasonable. But that means I expect my kids to be reasonable too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does she think is going to happen? She stays home? She stays with a friend? The whole family cancels? She clearly thinks she is going to gain something by doing this. This sort of behavior needed to be nipped in the bud many years ago.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don’t get why some constantly travel and refuse to be home and relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our trip is to Italy, half vacation/half visiting relatives. She doesn’t want to go Italy, and wants to go to the Hawaii, or somewhere else, but it isn’t her choice. There isn’t anyone available for her to stay with. OP

OP I cannot believe this is a serious question. Hopefully you're just packing and stressed and taking a break on DCUM to ask this.

The idea that a 14 YO could be allowed to disrupt a family vacation like this blows my mind.

If she doesn't want to pack, tell her that you're going to pack for her and she'd better hope she likes what you decide on, because there are no purchases there.

If she doesn't want to get in the cab/ car tomorrow, you pick her up and put her in. If she screams, you ignore her.

Who runs the show at your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just let her stay home as long as she has someone to stay with. I was a complete under batshit b**** to my family when we went on vacation when I was 14.

Dp. Can I ask why? What was your thinking/feeling at the time?

I was 14 and I just wanted to be with my friends. My family was annoying and embarrassing and I was tired of being around them. Of course, looking back I was completely out of line but this is just the reality of a 14-year-old girl sometimes.

I was the same at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our trip is to Italy, half vacation/half visiting relatives. She doesn’t want to go Italy, and wants to go to the Hawaii, or somewhere else, but it isn’t her choice. There isn’t anyone available for her to stay with. OP

OP I cannot believe this is a serious question. Hopefully you're just packing and stressed and taking a break on DCUM to ask this.

The idea that a 14 YO could be allowed to disrupt a family vacation like this blows my mind.

If she doesn't want to pack, tell her that you're going to pack for her and she'd better hope she likes what you decide on, because there are no purchases there.

If she doesn't want to get in the cab/ car tomorrow, you pick her up and put her in. If she screams, you ignore her.

Who runs the show at your house?

How do you pick up a teenager and put them in car? Let me guess, you have toddlers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why some constantly travel and refuse to be home and relax.

What does your lack of imagination have to do with anything in this thread?