14yo refusing to go on trip
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Anonymous
| We have a 6am flight tomorrow for a weeklong trip we’ve had planned for months. Our 14 year old daughter is very unhappy about the destination and is now refusing to pack or participate in getting ready at all. We’ve already taken away privileges, but she’s not budging. At this point, we’re worried about how we’re going to get her on the plane in the morning if this continues. Anything that we should do that we haven’t thought of? |
Anonymous
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Is she autistic and does she habitually display mental rigidity? What is the destination and what, exactly, are her concerns about it? Maybe some of them are legitimate and you could compromise on some activities?
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Anonymous
| What does she think is going to happen? She stays home? She stays with a friend? The whole family cancels? She clearly thinks she is going to gain something by doing this. This sort of behavior needed to be nipped in the bud many years ago. |
Anonymous
| I would just let her stay home as long as she has someone to stay with. I was a complete under batshit b**** to my family when we went on vacation when I was 14. |
Anonymous
| I’d tell her that if family had to cancel, she will pay back all expenses incurred. And be grounded for a month. |
Anonymous
Dp. Can I ask why? What was your thinking/feeling at the time? |
Anonymous
How to find a sitter this late? And it needs to be a really mean strict one |
Anonymous
I was 14 and I just wanted to be with my friends. My family was annoying and embarrassing and I was tired of being around them. Of course, looking back I was completely out of line but this is just the reality of a 14-year-old girl sometimes. |
Anonymous
| 100% make her go. She may hate it and be a pill but she will regret acting up later and her future self will be glad she went. |
Anonymous
| Our trip is to Italy, half vacation/half visiting relatives. She doesn’t want to go Italy, and wants to go to the Hawaii, or somewhere else, but it isn’t her choice. There isn’t anyone available for her to stay with. OP |
Anonymous
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I’d love to know the location!
I hate to negotiate with terrorists but I don’t see punishments getting you anywhere. You can’t physically make her get on the plane. Is there a bribe? Like doing something there to get her excited about? That’s not my normal parenting strategy but you’re in a tight spot. |
Anonymous
I guess I was thinking more along the lines of staying with a friend or family. I would’ve much preferred that when I was 14. |
Anonymous
Refusing to go on a trip is likely a brand new behavior and one Ive heard from a couple of others with 14yo girls. Both made alternate plans. I am sorry you are dealing with this last minute hassle op. Hopefully, you can try and not let it bring you down. Deal with it by making other plans, hiring a sitter, sending her to a friend, family or neighbor or something creative. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Did she agree to go when it was booked? |
Anonymous
| Pack a bag for her and tell her that she may not have what she needs on the trip if she refuses to pack for herself. From now until departure time, I'd ignore her and just go about your business. Do not let her see you sweat this. |