How to forgive spouse for initiating a gray divorce?

[Anonymous]

Op again/ he is a good dad 100%. Also a good person generally speaking, just self absorbed imo and wants a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again/ he is a good dad 100%. Also a good person generally speaking, just self absorbed imo and wants a fantasy.

Stop w the excuses

[Anonymous]

Serve him the papers first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s telling that you are refusing to accept his agency in your relationship…

No.

He’s likely been a selfish @$$ the whole time.

She stayed to do everything and protect the kids.

He did nothing but office work and himself, showed no gratitude ever, didn’t want to deal with the kids at all, so is pulling the plug now.

Moral of the story? Divorce him and earlier or make peace that you had to do everything out of necessity an onsite of him doing nothing, and your kids hopefully are better off for it.

This is a lot of projection- are you ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s telling that you are refusing to accept his agency in your relationship…

He stayed long enough for you to do all the free childcare, cooking, running of the household, cleaning, raising & launching the kids.

Now his pretending to be a husband and father are more formally over.

Let the playtime commence!

He also stayed long enough to give her a significant chunk of assets, pension, etc. so even if she did all that, that work wasn’t free to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s telling that you are refusing to accept his agency in your relationship…

He stayed long enough for you to do all the free childcare, cooking, running of the household, cleaning, raising & launching the kids.

Now his pretending to be a husband and father are more formally over.

Let the playtime commence!

He also stayed long enough to give her a significant chunk of assets, pension, etc. so even if she did all that, that work wasn’t free to him.

No pension, not tons of assets. House and some retirement etc

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to forgive your spouse. And if for some reason forgiveness is important to you, you don’t have to forgive now. Wait until it’s less raw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s telling that you are refusing to accept his agency in your relationship…

What do you mean? I understand he needs to be happy but I’m still pissed since I sacrificied a lot.

Is he leaving for another woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and your soon to be exdh? Is there enough money for retirement? Reasons for the gray divorce?
The answers to these questions has implications for whether forgiveness is possible.

53, 3 kids 18,20,22
Financial issues and not enough for retirement but not dire.
He wants more passion and feels we have grown apart.

Yeah, “passion”. If he isn’t already cheating he has prospects lined up.

[Anonymous]

The projection in this thread is wild.

[Anonymous]

Don't get mad, get everything- Ivanka Trump

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s telling that you are refusing to accept his agency in your relationship…

What do you mean? I understand he needs to be happy but I’m still pissed since I sacrificied a lot.

Let this be a lesson to younger women - do not sacrifice more than you are willing to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so angry u can barely talk to him

Don’t forgive him, he’s a narcissist. I bet every decision he made over the last 25 years only had to do about him and was for him. He was never a family man or a true father or true husband.

Take time and process this all.

Take the money, talk with the kids- tell the exactly what happened here, then take a 6 month around the world cruise to celebrate and heal.

If this is the case, do you not think you could have protected yourself better? What are you upset about? Not being able to be married to him or him taking all the money? There are different reasons to be upset about divorce.

[Anonymous]

Mr husband has probably already moved on. You should to OP

[Anonymous]

Selfish a$$ now wants to be a single selfish a$$. Breaking news at 10!
OP, you might not see it now but you’ll realize that your life will slowly get better without this deadweight. Focus on getting an equitable settlement. Get into therapy if you need emotional support.