Stepdaughter’s Clingyness Towards DH

[Anonymous]

Just to clarify, I don’t have an issue with the affection she shows toward DH, but I do think some of it might be a bit age-inappropriate—like always wanting to sit by him or sitting on his lap around family or friends (home is fine) or climbing into our bed when we’re cuddling, pushing other kids away during hugs, etc. That’s why I’m asking other parents for their thoughts. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who encourage divorce because “kids want their parents to be happy” should read what this shrew stepmother is posting.

Divorce is a screw to kids…but the major screw is when their selfish parents remarry when they are minors.

+1. It's a little developmentally inappropriate but when you're parents blew up your family and your dad took up with another woman? It's to be expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

My DH solve the crossword and watch TV in bed. We love when our teens and do them with us. Some of you are missing out on great quality time with your kids.

I think the rest of us are VERY happy to be missing out on father daughter bonding time in bed.

[Anonymous]

It’s strange that you are focused on whether the actions are appropriate rather than why she might be doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

My DH solve the crossword and watch TV in bed. We love when our teens and do them with us. Some of you are missing out on great quality time with your kids.

I think the rest of us are VERY happy to be missing out on father daughter bonding time in bed.

Oh hon. You are the one with the dirty mind. Has the DH said he’d be dating his daughter or that she has a great body? People have now decided to look at these pictures 30 years later because of Trump’s sexual comments about Ivanka.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s strange that you are focused on whether the actions are appropriate rather than why she might be doing this.

Her father is doing this because he’s a creep.

But the OP is married to him and has children with him, which is very difficult to face emotionally. If the OP was honest with herself, she might have to consider breaking up her family. That’s really scary on all levels, emotionally, financially and legally.

Framing her stepdaughter as the problem is easy and much less emotionally fraught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous, OP. If she was daughter to you both you wouldn't think anything of it. She also wouldn't feel insecure that she has lost him. I'm guessing you send off the vibe of disapproving, which causes her to do it even more. You need to let it go. No way is her dad going to say anything to her. And if you do, you are major league the bad guy.

I would be disturbed if my teenage daughter sat on my husband’s lap or held his hand. Maybe I’m just not from a super touchy family, but this sounds gross.

Thanks. I thought I was the only one who thought sitting on dad's lap at age 16 as being - ah - odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous, OP. If she was daughter to you both you wouldn't think anything of it. She also wouldn't feel insecure that she has lost him. I'm guessing you send off the vibe of disapproving, which causes her to do it even more. You need to let it go. No way is her dad going to say anything to her. And if you do, you are major league the bad guy.

I would be disturbed if my teenage daughter sat on my husband’s lap or held his hand. Maybe I’m just not from a super touchy family, but this sounds gross.

Thanks. I thought I was the only one who thought sitting on dad's lap at age 16 as being - ah - odd.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this IS inappropriate. It is also concerning why Dad has not set boundaries with his daughter. This is NOT age appropriate and her behavior needs to be addressed (by him). This is not about step mom being jealous so everyone needs to back off on that but I do think the daughter is jealous of your role in her Dad's life and is trying to assert her position.
Many have disagreed but honestly to be 16 and sitting on Dad's lap, holding hands the cuddling is not appropriate between father and teenage daughter. Another concern is that Dad has not taught her boundaries with her body and behavior and puts her at risk in relationships with boys if she has not learned this at home.

[Anonymous]

DH does set boundaries and says no sometimes, but she gets pouty, throws a fit (she does this over other things too) or gets upset.-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s very close to me and I value their relationship and think it's nice that she's so close to him, but I feel like when DH and I are just sitting on the couch and she gets between us and lays on top of him, sits on his lap in public, or climbs on him when we're cuddling, it’s a little excessive. She’s also protective with DH against the other kids. All my stepkids get plenty of one-on-one time with their dad, like trips and dates, and they also have good relationships with their mom. The divorce happened when they were little and I’ve been dating her dad since she was 5. -OP

Uh clearly not. Stop being creepy. You’re sexualizing your step child and it’s wildly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s very close to me and I value their relationship and think it's nice that she's so close to him, but I feel like when DH and I are just sitting on the couch and she gets between us and lays on top of him, sits on his lap in public, or climbs on him when we're cuddling, it’s a little excessive. She’s also protective with DH against the other kids. All my stepkids get plenty of one-on-one time with their dad, like trips and dates, and they also have good relationships with their mom. The divorce happened when they were little and I’ve been dating her dad since she was 5. -OP

Uh clearly not. Stop being creepy. You’re sexualizing your step child and it’s wildly inappropriate.

This happens in a lot of families and people look the other way and pretend it’s normal. It’s not. The person calling out the inappropriate behavior is not the problem.

The ADULT engaging in the inappropriate behavior is the problem.

The photos of Trump and his daughter is how it looks to everyone around you. Her own mother and two stepmothers looked the other way. This family dynamic is VERY common. It’s why so many people on this thread are so defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s very close to me and I value their relationship and think it's nice that she's so close to him, but I feel like when DH and I are just sitting on the couch and she gets between us and lays on top of him, sits on his lap in public, or climbs on him when we're cuddling, it’s a little excessive. She’s also protective with DH against the other kids. All my stepkids get plenty of one-on-one time with their dad, like trips and dates, and they also have good relationships with their mom. The divorce happened when they were little and I’ve been dating her dad since she was 5. -OP

Uh clearly not. Stop being creepy. You’re sexualizing your step child and it’s wildly inappropriate.

This happens in a lot of families and people look the other way and pretend it’s normal. It’s not. The person calling out the inappropriate behavior is not the problem.

The ADULT engaging in the inappropriate behavior is the problem.

The photos of Trump and his daughter is how it looks to everyone around you. Her own mother and two stepmothers looked the other way. This family dynamic is VERY common. It’s why so many people on this thread are so defensive.

I am really surprised by the comments on this thread and agree with you more than I guess everyone else? There are some serious lack of boundaries here. I think DCUM has a knee jerk reaction to just HATING Step anything, but as someone with a DCUM approved family with no steps it would have been weird as hell to ride Dad's lap a la Vanky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who encourage divorce because “kids want their parents to be happy” should read what this shrew stepmother is posting.

I’m not a stepmother and while I think this post is probably a troll, if it’s not I think this behavior is weird for a 16 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with her dad for a while, and she’s always been really close to him. She’s always followed him around when she feels needy, but that was never too frequent. It still happens occasionally, but I feel like she’s too old for that now. The wanting to sit next to him or hold his hand, still happens often, whether we’re at home or out in public. She also gets a bit protective, gets between us. -OP

What you signed up for. No complaining now.

You don’t think this and I’m sure a ton of other issues wouldn’t be part of the Blender family combo ?

Girl.