Stepdaughter’s Clingyness Towards DH

[Anonymous]

My stepdaughter who recently turned 16 is super clingy with DH—following him around the house & hovering around him, sitting on his lap, and curling up next to him in the coach, wanting to sit next to him. It’s starting to feel a little much, especially for her age.
I’m wondering if this still typical for a teenager (older step kids weren’t like this) or is this just her personality, she is a little immature. Will she grow out of it, or is this a phase that could last longer?

[Anonymous]

Well, 16 and sitting on Dad's lap seems kind of weird to me, and I love my dad and am close with him.

That being said, I didn't grow up with divorced parents so maybe there's a normal, developmental explanation for that? Idk.

Also she's not your kid so back off.

[Anonymous]

It's her dad. It would be weird if it were her stepfather.

[Anonymous]

That’s creepy either way. You need a therapist to help set and enforce boundaries. Start today, don’t leave them alone. He could very well be the problem.

[Anonymous]

Discuss this w your husband.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with her dad for a while, and she’s always been really close to him. She’s always followed him around when she feels needy, but that was never too frequent. It still happens occasionally, but I feel like she’s too old for that now. The wanting to sit next to him or hold his hand, still happens often, whether we’re at home or out in public. She also gets a bit protective, gets between us. -OP

[Anonymous]

People who encourage divorce because “kids want their parents to be happy” should read what this shrew stepmother is posting.

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous, OP. If she was daughter to you both you wouldn't think anything of it. She also wouldn't feel insecure that she has lost him. I'm guessing you send off the vibe of disapproving, which causes her to do it even more. You need to let it go. No way is her dad going to say anything to her. And if you do, you are major league the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Does she have a relationship with her mom?

[Anonymous]

Why are you jealous of a 16 year old?

[Anonymous]

Call shotgun on that lap.

[Anonymous]

She loves her Dad, feels close to him and resents that you are in the picture (and based on your posts, OP, I think she has cause). She wants to feel secure and living through divorce is pretty devastating for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with her dad for a while, and she’s always been really close to him. She’s always followed him around when she feels needy, but that was never too frequent. It still happens occasionally, but I feel like she’s too old for that now. The wanting to sit next to him or hold his hand, still happens often, whether we’re at home or out in public. She also gets a bit protective, gets between us. -OP

That is sweet, she's preserving the end of her childhood.

[Anonymous]

Do all you folks that think a 16 year old clinging to her father and sitting in his lap is sweet overlap with the folks that won't let their daughters go to sleepovers if there is a man in the house?

[Anonymous]

Her family has already fractured and broken apart and new people joined. She has a need more than her siblings to maintain a physical connection to feel close and maybe to feel safe and to connect to who brings her comfort when her world feels unstable.

I don't think it is really that weird or unusual for a teen to still want physical affection and be a bit clingy. I had a roommate in college who still called her mom mommy and they would curl up on the bed together and cuddle when her mom visited. They had a very physically close relationship.