I still seek closure

[Anonymous]

Your closure is that he’s a predictable, consistent liar and cheater. QED.

[Anonymous]

You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand women who "protect" their cheating ex by not divulging an affair. Just tell the truth.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand women who "protect" their cheating ex by not divulging an affair. Just tell the truth.

They're protecting themselves and their children from gossip and drama, as well as potential real safety concerns from an angry ex-husband.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand women who "protect" their cheating ex by not divulging an affair. Just tell the truth.

I think it’s mostly if the ex and AP work together. If the ex loses their job, you now have to pay them child support.

Lose the battle, win the war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

Exactly. Either you made a huge mistake by marrying him, or he changed drastically. The guy you knew or imagined you knew isn't there.

[Anonymous]

More you meet with the person of opposite sex in private the greater the chances of cheating. Not everyone does it but the risk is too high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

Exactly. Either you made a huge mistake by marrying him, or he changed drastically. The guy you knew or imagined you knew isn't there.

Not disagreeing with you. But another possibility is that OP changed and pushed her husband into ap’s arms. Op did you become fat or were you not having sex with your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

Exactly. Either you made a huge mistake by marrying him, or he changed drastically. The guy you knew or imagined you knew isn't there.

Not disagreeing with you. But another possibility is that OP changed and pushed her husband into ap’s arms. Op did you become fat or were you not having sex with your husband?

This troll pops up with this nonsense in every single thread as surely as the sun rises in the east. Stop trying to justify your cheating.

[Anonymous]

The closest to closure I have gotten is that I have close relationships with my kids. Our adult child went no-contact with him, older teen hates him and refuses to go to his house, and younger teen pretends to tolerate him. It is very sad for me that my kids lost a parent, but it's entirely his own doing and based on choices he made.

He otherwise seems to be living his best life with his much younger AP, traveling, spending money, pretending to be an awesome dad to her kids while not parenting his own. To me, sacrificing my kids for a new partner and barely seeing them is not a trade off I would ever make. He's chosen his life - feeding his ego with his new supply and making very clear to his kids that they are not a priority. And I've chosen mine - focusing on my own healing, keeping our home life stable, and supporting my kids.

Part of me is waiting for karma to catch up to him but I don't think it will ever happen.

[Anonymous]

Closure is an inside job.

It's hard to believe that someone who promised to love and be faithful to you forever could suddenly turn on you like that. Even if he demonstrates some modicum of remorse, like my ex did, it's probably a fraction of what it should be.

The thing is, that's all he's capable of. I need to grieve the person I thought I married. I need to accept that taking this fork in the road is a blessing to me. It's not what I thought would happen, but I'm here, firmly rooted in love and joy. When I get that feeling of, "If I only I told him that X really sucked and he should apologize," I remind myself that that's just giving my power away. Even if he apologized, I wouldn't feel any better.

(Sadly, I learned this the hard way. Early on I told him that I wanted him to say something kind on our 20 year anniversary. He said . . . "I'm glad you married me." Excuse me what. "I'm glad you married me so I could cheat on you and abandon you, thanks, let's always remember to center me in every conversation we ever have." It's just a waste of time an energy to think he will understand or respond on an adult level.)

When I feel the urge to find some relief outside of myself, I look inside instead. I tell myself that I am safe. I practice gratitude. I journal. I meditate. I do self-care. He can't provide me any closure . . . if had those kinds of emotional resources, he wouldn't be a dumb cheater to begin with. And ultimately, all the groveling and apologizing in the world can't undo the harm he did. I have to process it and heal it on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going through the same. My ex had a 3 year affair beginning when we had a 2yo and I was pregnant with our second and lasting til the kids were 5 and 2.5. O kept the affair private as I didnt want to affect his job (he got a dui and lost it anyway) and I didnt want the kids to suffer from gossip about their dad or hear anything about him.

I found out about the affair Jan 2022. He moved out 18 months ago and divorce is almost finalized. I organically met and have been dating someone wonderful. I just found out that on Christmas Eve, in a large group of mutual friends and family, he was talking negatively about me dating and saying I couldn't even wait until the ink was dry, its clear where my priorities are, alluding to me prioritizing that over my kids (I see my boyfriend 2x per month on my non kid days only).

It cut so deep that hes out there portraying me as the bad guy when he was in a full blown double life for 3 years.

Why don’t you link to your prior threads? “Talk me off a ledge”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your closure is that he’s a predictable, consistent liar and cheater. QED.

+ 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

Exactly. Either you made a huge mistake by marrying him, or he changed drastically. The guy you knew or imagined you knew isn't there.

Not disagreeing with you. But another possibility is that OP changed and pushed her husband into ap’s arms. Op did you become fat or were you not having sex with your husband?

Troll

You use these lame troll excuses at work or with your friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to make peace with the fact he changed into an @$$, and radically accept that your marriage and relationship with him as you formerly knew it is over.

Exactly. Either you made a huge mistake by marrying him, or he changed drastically. The guy you knew or imagined you knew isn't there.

Not disagreeing with you. But another possibility is that OP changed and pushed her husband into ap’s arms. Op did you become fat or were you not having sex with your husband?

This troll pops up with this nonsense in every single thread as surely as the sun rises in the east. Stop trying to justify your cheating.

Agree, so annoying!